Not to be confused with...

Those of you who know me know that I am prone to getting arguably crazy ideas into my head about some random thing I want to do from time to time. I'll jump right in and get started, then lose interest/motivation at some point before completion of said task. Fun, no?

So the latest crazy thing is fielding a team for next year's 24 Hours of LeMons. get it? Lemons? Hah! In a nutshell, this is a weekend event comprised of a couple of full track days running wheel to wheel endurance style in cars that are documented to have cost no more than $500, excluding wheels, tires, and safety equipment. How could that not be fun?

I definitely have the skill set necessary to purchase a cheap heap of a car; I've more than amply demonstrated this ability at several points in my life. Hell, some of them have even been halfway reliable; a partial list can be found further on down the page.

So the event calendar for next year hasn't been published yet (mid-November), but I'd guess that it will be about the same time, the end of July. All I need to is get a team of about 4-6 drivers-cum-crew workers, and maybe $3-5K in capital to fund this undertaking? Stranger things have happened, to be sure.

Here are a few links to Jalopnik articles (they're the best coverage I've found of the events so far) with galleries of the entrants in recent races, starting with this year's South Carolina event:

"South" - Kershaw, South Carolina

"New England" - Stafford Springs, Connecticut

"Detroit-ish" - Toledo, O-hi-o

Who knows, if we do well, maybe we can even go on the road with it.

Anyway, that'll do it for now, in the meantime, here are a few words on my addiction to car buying.

My first car, a turd brown '75 Firebird Esprit was $400, IIRC. I bought it before I had a license or even a permit, and never got it registered as a result. Don't remember if it had the 350 or the 400, but I lean toward the 350 hooked up to a TH400. This would have been...1987 maybe? 1988? Drove it around for several months until the brakes went out and we just ditched it on Addison Ave. in Chicago.

Next came the '76 Audi Fox, which was a hand-me-down heap from the 'rents. Drove it around for a while until it got to be too crappy even for me. Sold it for maybe $800? That number seems to stick in my head for some reason. It apparently died on the guy who bought it soon thereafter, and he crank called threatening my life for a few weeks after. Fun.

My first car legally purchased with my own money was a '67 (base) Cutlass convertible. Talked the guy down to $1600, and it came with a decent top, cracked rear plastic window, 330 cubic inch 2bbl "Jetfire" engine, 2-speed PowerGlide auto. The PowerGlide died driving a friend back from Wheaton?, so it got swapped out for a TH400, and I had another one purchased plus a 455 for an eventual rebuild that never happened. Not a bad 30-foot car, and it was great for a summer or two.

There was a '64 Triumph TR4. this was a true POS, as there were no original body panels without gigantic rust holes; the drivers side floorboard was nonexistent, and you had to drive squinty eyed, or get rust flakes in your eyes from the constantly-disintegrating "steel" beneath your feet. One item of note was the purchase price, which started at around $3500, but was negotiated down to $1100 through a perfect storm of good cop/bad cop/worse cop put on my my parents. Asian negotiating skills at their best.

A more complete listing, in almost chronological order of attainment:

'74 Pontiac Firebird Esprit

'83 Datsun 280ZX 2+2
'89 Toyota Supra Turbo Targa
'88 Toyota Supra Turbo Targa (ebay)
'88 Toyota 4Runner SR5 V6 (Auction)
'96? Chrysler Sebring JXi Convertible (Auction)
'93 Toyota Tercel (Auction)
'91 Toyota 1/2 ton Pickup (Hilux) (Auction)
'90 Toyota Celica GT Hatchback (Auction)
'97 Toyota Land Cruiser (ebay)
'98 Lexus GS400 (ebay)

Goddamn prudes...

Is NOTHING sacred? For heaven's sake, she's doing it FOR the people! Meanwhile, the muggers on the train were left to ply _their_ trade (equally illegal, and far more harmful) undisturbed. On second thought, the train's obviously more crowded as a result, making it far more profitable for the thieves, perhaps she was in collusion with them all along, and the cops arrested her as a preemptive crime-fighting measure! Brilliant! Good job after all!



She vaguely (physically - dark haired brunette, medium height, slim) reminds me of someone familiar, but whom? I don't actually know any subway goddesses, only more mundane everyday ones. Can't quite place it...perhaps it'll (she'll) come to me...

What I have...

...not to be confused with What I Got, by Sublime; another great song, to be sure, but not exactly on the same plane as the following.

Today, we have some song lyrics. I really dig this song, albeit the Antillas edit more so the the album version, which is a bit draggy and slow, or the Antillas Club mix, which has the good tempo, but too much filler at the beginning. The tune is catchy (as are almost all the Conjure One/Poe collaborations) and Poe's vocals have that haunting quality I love.

Extraordinary Ways - Conjure One featuring Jane aka Poe

What I have is nothing to my name
No property to speak of
And no trophy for my game
Intangible and worthless
My assets on the page
My coffers are empty
Any offer of safety has faded away
But what I have
What I have is

On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this

That makes me lucky
God, I'm lucky, so much luckier than I ever thought I'd be
'Cause what I have (what I have)
Means so very little to this world
A promise that I kept and a bridge that I saved before it burned
The sacrifice that I made
Brought me to my knees
A choice that cost me everything and set somebody else free
But what I have
Is the value that you see in these things

On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this

That makes me lucky
God I'm lucky, so much luckier than I ever thought I'd be
'Cause what I have
Is the value that you see in these things

And everytime I forget those things you bring them right back to me

With your patience
When I'm blinding mad
And your passion
When I'm really, really bad
And your eyes
Taking in everything I am
And your body and soul and the way that you know
How I treasure you

On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this

That makes me lucky
God I'm so lucky
So much luckier than I ever thought I'd be

On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You take what I can give and you treasure it
On an ordinary day
The extraordinary way
You turn to me and say, I believe in this

As for the actual lyrics themselves, I'm not quite sure how the second verse fits in, but I really feel the first one, and the third one, wow...brilliant. Here's to hoping that that new Poe album is due out soon.

Tomorrow, a passage from House of Leaves by Annie's brother Mark Z., and the genius of THEIR joint work.

Geek love...

For all my favorite geeks out there (you know who you are), I present the following: (hope it's legible...)



I like to think that my life has taken the path of the first "no" response, as I HAVE known the touch of a woman (or two, possibly at the same time) ;) but I WAS exposed to D&D at a young age! Though I guess "young" is relative...I was what...13 maybe?

My only question is, what if the geek in question IS a girl? I mean surely they exist? I know I've encountered a few in my time, and at _least_ one (the only one that comes to mind ATM), in my mind, was mind-blowingly hot. So what gives?

Ah well, yet another imponderable mystery of life. Perhaps there will be a Discovery Channel special on it. Remind me to set the TiVo.

For the love of...

Well, it appears that The Almighty Googloggeraps comglomerate has hosed my page, and my last attempt to embed a Google Street View photo has not only not appeared, but all the subsequent (I know, they're actually chronologically earlier) embeddings have all shifted up one, thus rendering all the last several posts almost completely nonsensical. Crap.

Mayhaps I spoke too soon on the untold evils and miscellaneous shenanigans of Friday the Thirteenth.

Ah well, will work on it later.

Crap.

A day of untold misfortune...

Well, not really. I actually had a pretty good day, and I kept forgetting it was Friday the Thirteenth.

Homeowners' Association Board meeting, read water meters, shop for some random computer miscellany, mess with the new(ish) workhorse color printer, and I guess that's about it. Seemed like more while I was doing it.

By way of "old business", the name of the place from yesterday was "Scoozi!" It's on Huron (410 West, to be exact), just West of Orleans (where I used to work at Tripp-Lite before they moved to the old Spiegel campus, and the place on Orleans, (500 I think) got converted into condos. I always thought that building would make for good condos, guess I must have the real estate developer's eye. It's in turn right across from CDW. Anyway, I digress...) It's just West of Orleans, and just North of Ohio...which for some reason I was thinking was the Eisenhower, because of the very large on/off ramp thinger, which is more reminiscent of a highway ending than a mundane on/off ramp. Does that make sense?

Anyway, Scoozi! is in fact a Lettuce Entertain You enterprise, and both still seem to be around. My beloved Fettuccine Bolognese has evolved into a Tagliatelle Bologenese. I've never even heard of Tagliatelle, but then again, it seems that there are about fifteen billion types of pasta, all of which have proper Italian names, that I've never heard of. Take Gemelli, for example. This is my current favorite pasta, it's kind of like a closed cell...well not really closed, but tubular Rotini (I never know when/if you're supposed to capitalize pasta names.) Anyway, it's good stuff, check it out.

So back to Scoozi! one more time, and to wrap up, I suppose the prices seem to be pretty much what I remember them to be, so it's not by any means exorbitant. If you're in Chicago and in the mood for decent Italian, I highly recommend it, based on my handful of visits over 8-10 years ago. Cant' get more wholehearted or confident a recommendation as that, eh?

And finally, here's a look at the giant tomato I mentioned. See how it just sort of hovers, ready to take out the least-suspecting patron? Frightening.

Enjoy.


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What's the name of that place...

...in Chicago...

It's a restaurant, Italian, a Lettuce Entertain You venture. I used to love it, it has a giant tomato precipitously perched above the entryway. Kate always used to say that we (or SOMEONE) needed to catalogue all the giant/oversized sculptures of things in Chicago, there always seemed to be an abundance.

Anyway, la casa de Tomato (or salmonella delivery device, these days)...I think it was on Ontario, perhaps? No, it couldn't have been Ontario...Erie? Crap. Little help? The name of it completely escapes me. It had the giant open warehouse decor, bar in the front, open kitchen, I used to get the Fettuccine Bolognese, it was the best I'd ever had at the time, and has yet to be dethroned. Though Jim Hall's dad's cream sauce pasta in Minneapolis back in '96(?) was pretty damned close.

I need to look it up, Watching Top Chef the other night made me think of it, I doubt it's still around, heck Lettuce Entertain You probably isn't even around anymore. Remember Bones on...Lincoln Ave? Is that where it was? I can't even remember anymore.

Anyone? Anyone?

Speaking of simply-fucking-amazing places to eat in Chi (which is an 18-part-blog-series of its own), I heard Chop House mentioned in passing somewhere recently, and just about got my mouth watering. That place was for sure on Ontario...right across from Hard Rock, before you get to Portillo's on the right. Now that was the finest piece of cow I've ever had in my mouth, bar none. Seriously. I don't think Michele appreciated it at the time. Did she even have steak? Man, this CRS is really killing me these days.

Oh well, more on Chicago food soon. For now, I must go find the name of the place.

Fun with Google Street View...(Episode 1)

In case there's any doubt that Chicago still rocks the world, I present this view of daily life in suburban Chi-town:


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If you click one arrow NW, you can see the adventurous young lady approach the car, hands already at the leading (bottom) edge of her shirt, hinting at the luscious goodness that's sure to follow, and one click SE shows her walking away, mission accomplished. In a way it's a pity that we didn't get the full-effect flash, but then again, it most certainly would have been flagged and removed, ne'er to be seen by mine eyes (nor all of yours). So in effect, we all got to see more by having been exposed to less. Deep. Is it better to have been flashed and lost, or to never have seen boobal goodness at all? Also deep.

Although as far as an obligatory caveat, she could well be underage...either way, here's to quick-thinking American girls! The terrorists have NOT won!

To think that I briefly lived not five miles from that very spot...*sigh*.

In perhaps a more "urban" context, are these upstanding (at the moment) ladies just hanging out, or "working" and on the clock? (Oakland, CA)


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And on the very next corner:


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To be fair, this IS at a bus stop, but who's to say that's not the perfect place to set up shop? I mean it's one block up!

More craziness soon.

Welcome to civilization...

From Wikipedia's Google Street View page:

On June 10, 2008, twelve more cities were introduced: Atlanta, Buffalo, Charlotte, Columbus (Ohio), Fresno, Jackson, Jacksonville, Louisville, Oklahoma City, Sacramento, St. Louis and Virginia Beach.

This is easily the coolest thing I've seen online in...OK, maybe ever. I first discovered this feature a few months ago (late to the party, yes.) and used it extensively to revisit my childhood stomping grounds in Chicago. Ah, memories. At the time, I read that the feature was coming to Charlotte; the requisite photos had already been taken, and merely needed releasing. Well, today was the magic day, and needless to say, I haven't been terribly AT ALL productive thus far today, alas.

More comments on various aspects of what this new technology brings with it later, but for now, enjoy. Let me know with any requests for virtual tour guide suggestions, or where to find me. (Or at least my car/bike.)


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Drugs aren't necessarily bad, but they can be addictive...

While I was typing a particular email address tonight, I was struck by the correlational coincidence of a random word association, a metaphor I made in passing some days ago, and how little it can take to latch onto an addiction. Perhaps even a new nickname? (Not for me, that just wouldn't make any sense, sheesh.)

MDMA (Methylenedioxymethamphetamine), AKA Ecstasy, E, X, XTC, and improperly Extasy, per Wikipedia:

"a semisynthetic member of the phenethylamine class of psychoactive drugs...The drug is well known for its tendency to produce feelings of overwhelming euphoria, a strong sense of intimacy with others, diminished feelings of fear and anxiety, and pronounced overall civility..."

Man, I need to get me some of that! Sounds like a fun place to be. Maybe you know a guy who knows a guy?

Funny things, these coincidences.



There she is, the object of our affections, isn't she cute? And why do all these animated molecule things look vaguely like caterpillars? I'm sure there's some sort of subtextual phallic significance there, but I'm not looking for it.

Fala mais uma vez...

Today, we briefly explore the wacky world of semantics. To make an overbroad generalization, people these days seem to have little respect for the language, when it's really all that separates us from our tree-swinging forebears. So much depth and complexity can be conveyed with just a few minute sounds strung together, whether intentional, or by subtlest of subtexts. From deep, life-changing affirmations, spoken with the utmost care and forethought (say it again, please!), to throwaway expletives mindlessly spat out (but no less telling) in the heat of passion.

Some days (though fewer and further between, of late) it just hits me out of nowhere, the dichotomous nature of how words, language, and lexicon, while powerful enough to bring us to today's level of civilization and technological domination (grass huts notwithstanding), sometimes also utterly fail us. Think about that for a minute. Mind? Boggling? Let's move on.

So to those who choose to truly communicate feeling, emotion and honest thoughts, obrigada. Every day has the potential to be Christmas.

Goooooooodbye, chronic lateness!

In the absence of shocking personal news of my own, I'd like to take this opportunity to make y'all aware of what may prove to be the single most genius product/tool offering by Google/gmail yet.

They have introduced a feature that will forever end any semblance of lateness on my part! And best of all, you heard it here first! That's right, I emailed each and every one of my loyal readers, the very first day I got my first Gmail account in '04. Even if you weren't yet reading this blog then! I know, amazing, right? Thanks!

I present to you (again) Google Custom Time.

All hail Google!

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/customtime/index.html

No longer will I miss out on those "First reply gets to make out with this stunningly chesty hottie..." emails we're all plagued with every day, or be harangued by "you were supposed to have this in by...", but enjoy a new era of "See? I, Gene, was right all along! Just look at the email I sent you a week ago. See? It even says you read it already. Just what are you trying to pull here, mister?"

No, really check your email. I told you about this YEARS ago. Seriously, yo. Plus, you totally cannot argue with the testimonials on that linked page. And, there's also equations with obscure symbols that I KNOW you don't remember from calculus, so there. Totally iron-clad.

Also, I don't want to perpetuate any rumours that I put the G in Gmail, but it's already kind of out there, now isn't it? Plus, you can't really find any fault in the rationale. I've tried. The logic is sound, I tell you.

Enjoy, and you're welcome.

-Gene

Motivation is everything...

Here are a couple inspirationally-themed poster style thingies that Managerial-types like to put in break rooms, boardrooms, and the like, presumably to motivate and inspire the minimum-wage sales bots (i.e. Me, 15 years ago) to "go-out-there-and-give-110-percent!".

I like these better. The first two are mildly apropos, since I seem to be at school so much lately, and the warm weather brings out the hotties and belly shirts. The last one...well, I just like Futurama, OK? Enjoy, there will probably be more in a day or two. Maybe even some LOLcats! Yay!

Never a dull moment at the Wal-Mart...

So my favourite time to shop is at like midnight or later on a weeknight, primarily due to the dearth of people in the store, and abundance of rockstar parking in the lot. Thing is, when the lot is empty save a few cars and as many errant shopping carts (or "buggies", in the locally oh-so-colorful vernacular), one is occasionally tempted to do a donut or 42. Or in the spirit of the local NASCAR fetish, otherwise zoom one's way around the lot-cum-autocross-track. That is until I...er "noticed" a landmark of sorts:





"OK," I think, "WTF was that?!"





Then, "Hrm...this isn't good..."





OK, by now you're realizing that this isn't my car. As it turns out, I was inside shopping, and this little incident doesn't have anything to do with me. I notice, exiting the store, what looks like a stunt car up on two side wheels, only completely still. Again, "WTF?!" Get in the car, drive around to the site, and at first we can't figure out what the deal is. There's a tow truck, but why's the car up on its side like that? On approach, it kind of looks like the car's up on some kind of a ram type thingie, there's a yellow cylindrical support on the elevated side, but I can't think of any type of repair that would be so pressing as to require that sort of device.





OK, now we start to realize that some clown has not only hit an aisle sign post, but hit it with enough force to completely high center the car on the 3 foot concrete abutment supporting said post, which has now partially collapsed under the impact of the collision.





You really have to give this person moron props for sticking this landing. Seriously, how many stuntmen could have done this if they tried? To not completely collapse the abutment? to have the whole mess stop right when it did and catch the concrete on the lip of the lower body between it and the frame? Sheer unintentional genius.

At least the car itself doesn't seem to have sustained much damage. Not sure if Wal-Mart will be billing the poor slob who damaged their property, but if they do, it's surely deserving.

All I can say is that I wish I had my camera for some proper photos, I don't think I'm going to see many of these in my remaining days, and I'm hoping there are quite a few of those yet to come.

...and oh yeah, I guess I'm back...

;)

April first shenanigans...

Well, needless to say, it was all a sham. Particularly ill-conceived (no pun), no doubt, perhaps made more convincing if I'd actually been posting of late, rather than coming back suddenly for a big announcement. Finally, though it's been almost a year, my last such attempt at mass hucksterism is listed a mere eights posts below this year's entry. *sigh*.

Now, in a fairly transparent effort to distract attention from our own shenanigans, here are some other frauds perpetrated by bigger entities than myself:

http://www.google.com/tisp
http://mail.google.com/mail/help/paper/more.html
http://www.geeks.com/asimo.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_fools
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_1%2C_2007

Enjoy, more actual updates and musings soon.

-Gene

"DON'T kick the baby..."

My new year's resolution was to get back into updating this page regularly, and now that my self-granted 90-day grace period has expired, it's time to see if I can motivate myself to do it.

Well, it's been very nearly a year of firsts, (not to mention completely devoid of posts) and the mother of them all will be the topic of today's update. Two announcements/revelations will be made today; which is the bigger will be left to the reader to decide. The remaining updates covering the time since my last post will be fleshed out in the next several days'/weeks' posts.

Ms. Strawberry (more on her later) and I have been dating for all but a year now, and cohabitating for a couple/few months less than that. Things are better than I could ever possibly hope for, and we have grand (though open-ended and nonspecific) plans for the future. One aspect that was heretofore undiscussed is the minor matter of children. I've never had, and never thought I wanted, but my life has gotten to the point where it's 180° from where it was when I formulated the no-kids posture.

Anyway, to make a long story slightly less long, we're expecting. (OMFG)

No experience or time in the south would of course be complete without a true shotgun wedding, and so it shall be. Announcement will be made here, as well as via email to invitees; be on the lookout for one or both in the nearish future.

To get to that point, it's necessitated reconsidering our respective positions (of "never" and "never again", respectively) on the concept of marriage.

Appropriately, we'll be registering at Stockroom.com, victoriassecret.com, and tiffany.com. Our friends are, after all, nothing if not generous! (hint, hint)

Developments as they occur...

150th post...

[insert fanfare]

Televisions programs normally celebrate their 100th installment, but I think I missed that milestone, or at least was unaware of it's passing at the time...besides, it's taken me so long to get back into anything even remotely resembling a regular posting schedule that it's pretty much a non-event anyway.

Got a couple Engrish(.com)-y things to post for tomorrow, might be marginally funny, stay tuned...

Beastly update...

Apparently, there's some lady in England who has some demonic forces shaping if not her entire existence, at least the statistical events in her life. Observe, from the BBC:

A woman born weighing 6lbs 6oz on 6 June at 0600 BST, and who is 66 on 6/6/06, is refusing to drive on her birthday to help avoid accidents.

She has a normal enough name, June Dumas (if the parents were whimsically inclined enough to name her after her birth month, why not make it just a bit more dramatic and go with something more like Demonella, Satanita, Beelzebelle, or something along those lines?) The photo posted of her seems to try to indicate that she's not particularly evil looking, but she DOES have red hair...VERY suspicious...



The article goes on to quote her thusly:

"The woman from Hove said she had become less superstitious as she got older, but she still saluted single magpies, and avoided walking under ladders."

I've heard fo the walking under ladders thing, but WTF is up with saluting magpies?! Do we even have those here? Weren't Heckle and Jeckle magpies? Does anyone even remember that cartoon? Hrm. It's all quite eerie, if you ask me.



My question is this...none of this information is of a surprise nature, so how are we just hearing about it now, and not like months ago, when we could have had proper time to prepare to burn her at the stake or something like that? I'll be smelting a silver bullet if anyone needs me. No sense in taking any chances, the demon lady is just a short plane ride away...

Ah well, the lord's work is never done...or something like that...I leave you with a birthday quote from Ms. Beelzebella (my favorite from the suggestions above) herself:


"I used to be a superstitious person but as you get older you tend to think that what will happen will happen," she said.


So the moral of the story?

It is what it is. Carry on.

Day of the beast...

An old crappy joke I know:

What's 666?

The mark of the beast.

What's 667?

Neighbor of the beast. (Which should really be 664 or 668, but hey this is a lame joke, and standards are not terribly high here.)

Not even remotely funny, but for some reason, it randomly makes me chuckle when I hear it. Go figure, guess that makes me a devil sympathizer.

OK, Omen remake hype notwithstanding, has anything outwardly evil happened to anyone today? I slept in (as usual), got on the computer, IMed with some people, went to Sam's Club, had dinner, IMed some more, then wrote this. Fantabulous! But sadly, bereft of any evil overtones.

This weekend's plans may involve a trip to the beach (Wrightsville Beach/Wilmington) for a house party, or else a house party here in town (Mooresville), we'll see as the weekend draws near(er) what the final plans will be. DJing at the club Friday, blah blah blah...

More soon, it'll be my Satan's day resolution, yeah that's it...

Another cop-out...

I hate to make this a theme by posting basically two in a row, but this one was also misappropriated from a friend's myspace...more substantiative post(s) to follow, promise!



How many windows do you have in your room?

One.


Hardwood floor, tile, or carpet?

Carpet, white Berber.


What size bed do you have?

Queen.


What does your comforter look like?

Burgundy duvet, 300TC, but in dire need of replacement; it's seen better days.


What color are your walls?

Sort of a dark olive drab.


Is your room big?

I think it measured out at 13'x 14'.


Is it clean?

As much as can be expected of a bachelor type.


Do you have the following in your room:

[X] Desk (Milk crates and a birch laminate plank)
[X] More than 3 sources of light (Indirect spot/floods)
[X] Cell phone (Cingular RAZR V3 silver)
[ ] Chair
[Need one] Bookshelf
[Need one] Dresser
[X] Painted walls (Didn't we go over this already?)
[X] Candles (Just a couple, holdovers from girlfriends past...)
[X] Nightstand (Again, milkcrates...see a design theme?)
[X] TV (An old Toshiba colorstream 27")
[X] TiVo (With lifetime subscription, can't get those anymore...bastards!)
[X] CD player/stereo (Computer, anyway)
[ ] Bean bag chair
[X] Computer/laptop (Mac Ti Powerbook and P4HT Wintel clone)
[ ] Posters
[ ] Paintings
[ ] Pictures
[ ] Walk-in closet
[ ] Pictures of you and friends
[X] Large mirror
[X] Bed
[X] Stuffed animal(s) (Not really animals, per se; Flat Eric and the pets.com sock puppet)
[X] Own bathroom
[X] Clock
[ ] Clothes on the floor
[ ] Guitar
[ ] Lava lamp
[ ] Smoke detector
[ ] Piano/keyboard
[X] Locking door
[ ] Can of soda
[X] Bottle of water
[ ] Blacklight or redlight
[ ] Something about your own country
[ ] Water polo ball
[ ] Soccer ball
[ ] Volleyball
[ ] Basketball
[ ] Softball stuff
[ ] Frisbee
[ ] Tennis ball
[ ] Beach ball
[ ] Football
[ ] Baseball
[X] CDs (Not many)
[ ] Surround sound
[ ] Sofa
[ ] Liquor bottles
[ ] Flag
[ ] Stop sign
[ ] Exit sign
[ ] Caution tape
[ ] Paintball gun
[X] Airsoft gun (Beretta 92FS, Glock 17)
[ ] Calendar
[X] Real guns (Glock 17 9mm, Glock 36 .45, and Sig P220 .45)
[ ] Real weapons
[ ] Cigarettes
[X] Cigars (Cubans! Cohibas and Romeo y Julietas, Dominican Ashtons)

Alarmist propaganda...

Cribbed from someone on my myspace friends' list:

[X] Are you actually Asian in the first place?
[ ] Were you born in an Asian country?
[ ] Do YoU tYpE lIkE tHiS aLoT?
[ ] Do you eat rice almost every single day?
[X] Can you use chopsticks?
[X] Have you attended Chinese/Korean/etc school as a kid?
[X] Can you speak an Asian language?
[X] Do you spike(guys)/highlight(girls) your hair?
[ ] Do you have an "azn crew"?
[ ] Do/Did you get at least a 3.0 gpa?

Total: 5

[X] Do you like kimchi
[X] Have you ever designed a website?
[ ] Do you know the song "got rice?"
[X] Have you dated Asian girls/boys?
[ ] Do your sns/email have the words: AzN, gurl, boy, sweet, cute, hot, dragon, baby, angel, lil, princess, etc?
[X] Is your last name Lee, Nguyen, Pham, Trinh, Houng, Chang, Jung, Chung, Liu, Wang, Wong, Kim, Lim or Choi?
[X] Do you take off your shoes before entering someone's house?
[X] You have both an Asian and an English name?
[X] Do/Have you watch(ed) anime?
[X] Do you listen to techno?

Total: 8

[X] Do/Have you obsessed/infatuated over an Asian celebrity?
[ ] Do you listen to Asian pop music?
[X] Have you watched asian movies?
[ ] Do you have uncanny math abilities?
[X] Do you drink pearl milk tea or bubble tea?
[X] Do/Have you play(ed) Online games like Counterstrike, Star/Warcraft, Diablo, Final Fantasy, etc?
[ ] are you a master at DDR?
[X] Do/Have you played the violin/piano/flute?
[X] Do your parents beat you if you get bad grades?
[X] Do you/your parents drive an Asian made car?
[ ] Do people call you by another Asian person's name?
[X] When dining out, do your parents fight with other people to pay the check?

Total: 8

[ ] Are you a very good artist?
[ ] Do you speak ur azn language w/ your friends?
[X] Do/Have you or your relatives own(ed) an Asian restaurant/market?
[X] Do you slurp soup?
[X] Have you visited your home country at least twice?
[X] Does your home smell like incense?
[X] Do you have/had glasses or braces?
[X] Do you like to read?
[X] Do/Did you NOT have an allowance?
[ ] Do you mostly eat at Asian resturaunts?
[X] Do you speak your native language at home?

Total: 8

[X] Have you eaten dim sum/dumplings before?
[ ] Are your parents fobs and barely speak english?
[X] Do you have tons of cousins/siblings/uncles/aunts/etc
[X] Can you twirl a pencil between your fingers?
[ ] Have you ever solved a rubik's cube?
[ ] Do/Have you read manga?
[ ] Is the mall your hang out place?
[ ] Do you think you are short?
[X] Do you/your parents save ketchup packets/napkins/etc from restaurants for "later use"?
[ ] Do you have ASIAN PRIDE?!
Total: 4

Add totals and multiply by 2 to calculate your Asian quotient.


5 + 8 + 8 + 8 + 4 = 33

33 x 2 = 66

Gene is apparently, by some inexplicable universal force, deemed 66% Asian.

Now granted, this is a very flawed metric by which to measure one's Asian quotient, but by this little gauge, I've somehow scored high enough to be 2/3rds Asian, and only 33%, or one third creamy white filling. Anyone who knows me knows that this is simply not possible. It's interesting to note, however, that the maximum possible score on this exercise is 53, or 106%. now my pitiful math skills notwithstanding, that's more Asian than anyone I know or have met.

Ah well, time for bed.

Alas, poor Bailey...

Those who know me know that I'm generally not one prone to flights of sentimentality or things of that nature, but today's entry is going to be a bit of a departure from my usual fare.

My flatmate S's dog, Bailey, a three year old pale yellow lab pup (Not really a pup, I know, but I have this thing for calling all dogs pups) appears to have gotten into something and had been acting out of sorts over the weekend, just throwing up a lot and kind of hiding out around to the side of the house, which is weird, becasue he really never does either; definitely not an outdoorsy dog. I guess it's a well-known fact that labs love to chew on and potentially eat everything they can get their jaws around, and this guy was no different. He loved to run off with all manner of items, "no matter how personal", according to S. He had a couple boat bumpers that were all chewed to bits that you could play fetch with him with, or he'd be walking around woth something in his mouth, trying to keep it away from you if he got your attention; S's checkbook, his chew toys, the little bag thing I keep my condoms in, mail, literally anything. Otherwise, he'd go out to the recycling bin and pull out all kinds of things: 2-liter bottles, food cans, milk jugs, whatever.

I've always liked dogs, and Bailey was a fun pup, content to lounge around the house with me all day. He liked to get riled up and fetch things in the yard, but definitely not so much so as to be persistently annoying like many other dogs his age, esp labs. Probably his only shortcoming was that he liked to jump up on you from time to time, definitely nowhere near as frequently as some dogs, but a little bit. Tough with a hundred pound dog, even one time can be overwhelming if you're not expecting it. I'm sure it was all just youthful ebullience, though, and have no doubt he'd have given it up with a little encouragement. I'm definitely wary of getting a dog myself, now especially, primarily because (and many of these are similar to the "no kids" rationale,) 1) all the hassle and expense of having a dog, 2) emotional attachment and eventual separation pains, 3) the removal of spontaniety in planning, always having to make arrangements for care and such, in this case much more os than say cats or fish...I'm sure there are others, but you get my point.

So Sunday night, S says he's not doing well, and decides to take him to the emergency vet's. Several hours later, like 1am, he gets back and says that they want to do exploratory surgery; he doesn't seem like he's getting any better, and they can kinda feel something in there. S and I kinda talk about it, alternating between "yeah, definitely, operate if they think it'll help", and "dogs have been eating things they shouldn't for thousands of years, he'll be fine" mentalities. He decided to sleep on it and talk to the vet some more the next day.

Monday evening, S gives me the update that they did indeed operate, and that they found some sort of hard yellow plastic thing in two pieces, attached to a string or rope of some kind. It had somehow gotten caught up in his intestines, and bound up a 2-foot(?) section, which had to be removed. Things were touch-and-go for a while, and they needed to keep him until Thursday, but that he should be okay after the ordeal. What the hell could he have gotten into? Hard yellow plastic/rubber with a string attachment? What could that even be?

Imagine my surprise when I saw that S was home when I got up today, around noon. He tells me that Bailey's died, and that they've buried him in the backyard. I'm glad, and that seems to be the right place for him, he so loved romping around back there. S seems to be taking it well, but I'm still in shock. I just saw him and was playing with him a few days ago! He was the very picture of dog health! How can this be? I never even took any pictures of/with him! Never got to take him to the park or anything! We were going to pick up girls together! It's funny how attached we can get, sometimes without even knowing, to pets in such a short time. I first saw/met Bailey exactly a month ago today...it's still all very surreal, not having him running off with my socks all the time.

I suppose it's kind of morbid to note that today's April 4th, 4.4. The Chinese (a culture that tends to be fundamentally superstitious to begin with) have a belief that 4 is an unlucky number, because it's a homophone for death, or to die. Creepy.

It turned out to be a weird, weird, weird weekend; mildly rough times, to be sure. We'll miss you, Bales.

Holiday antic(s)...

Not much time to peruse April fools day sites this year, the only one I check religiously anyway is Google's, this year with Google Romance. Not their best work by a long shot, but it was halfway clever, with some funny aspects. I found it to be a little too obvious in other regards, like some of the verbiage. I mean by now everyone expects brilliance from them, or at least an outdoing of the previous year's antics, but eh. Ah well. A good effort nonetheless.

Some of their past endeavours can be found here, here, or here.

An eventful weekend, more to follow if I can pull myself away from all the avoidance of things I should be doing.

His Noodly Appendage...

Y'all have heard me joke about the FSM numerous times in the past, I'm sure. That was all well and good for its time, a portion of my life overcome with hedonistic pleasures and ever-increasingly obscene and despicable things, including the rejection of organized religion. I now still see the humour in it, but also realize that like all things childish in nature, we must discard such foolishness at the appropriate times, and embrace more mature behavioural patterns; Call it "becoming a man", if you will.

It all started on the long drive back from DC. When one is presented with long expanses of free time and introspection, especially performing mindless activities such as driving, the mind has the opportunity to flow to strange, seemingly unfamiliar places. This is probably the closest approximation I can think of to explain what happened to me. It was never a singular moment of clarity, cathartic, epiphanous, purgatory, or otherwise, but more of a gradual realization that while time on this planet may be short, and there's not much sense in frittering that away, there's even less rationale in mortaging one's time in eternity for a bit of sinful delight now. While there are those who would gladly "pay you for Tuesday for a hamburger today", so to speak, no one would argue that an eternity of Tuesdays wouldn't ever be worth a singular today, no matter how metaphorically succulent, tasty, or pleasurable.

There's inherent temptation in a world purview of carpe diem. It has a tendency to steer people in a direction of endless, banal justifications of "hey, life's too short," "you only live once," or "if not now, when?" To which I now can unequivocally respond (respectively), "yeah, compared to the afterlife," "you also only suffer through damnation once, it's just longer," and my new favourite, "indeed, you definitely won't be able to do it once you're already IN hell!" I could go on, but I'm sure it'll seem preachy to most of my sinner readership if I lay it on too thick now.

Oddly enough, part of my revelation came from the pompous, self-righteous, and unholy maw of someone I previously looked up to, Jon Stewart and the puppeteers that comprise Comedy Central and Viacom. How I was able to endure (and forgive me, even find remotely entertaining) the continuous slander of holy men such as Pat Robertson, the Pope, and the rest of the religious mouthpieces of the world, is slightly beyond me at the moment. I suppose Mr. Stewart feels falsely safe in his Judaic cocoon, but clearly, his sins are just as real as all of ours, and you don't have to be religious to feel eternal hellfire!

It seems strange, but the divine hand of the Lord seems to touch us just when we're at our darkest moments. In the last several days, nothing less than that has intercepted the collision course that has become my life of late. Without going into too much excruciating detail, suffice it to say that my eyes have finally been opened to the folly of my ways, and while it will take a lifetime of atonement and repentance, that thank the Lord that it happened now, while I'm still able to assuage the universal harm of my lifetime of actions and inactions.

For those of you who know me solely from the club, I regret that we won't have the opportunity to say my goodbyes in person, since I will no longer be attending. At least those of you who read this medium will have some closure. I ask that you pass along (discreetly; you should be able to handle that, right?) the news only to those who specifically inquire of me, and not idle gawkers interested solely in the baser pleasure of vile gossip.

Of course, at this juncture, I must ask, whether you, loyal reader, have accepted Jesus as your personal saviour? It's never too late! If there's hope for an habitual sinner like myself, literally everyone and anyone can be saved, you just have to want it. It is not my place to judge any of you, but I do know that there were those both more and less wicked than I; it is up to all of you to individually find yourselves, to find the Lord within, and seek salvation. The key is not in the ease in which you can ask for forgiveness, after all, ALL can be forgiven...but can any of us gamble with our eternal souls that we won't get hit by a bus, or otherwise perish in a way that prohibits us from accepting salvation at the last minute? Is that something you're comfortable with? Allowing a "whoops, didn't see that coming" to stand between you and the pearly gates? Choose wisely, my beloved bretheren. I am taking steps to bring myself closer to the possibility of eternal bliss at the feet of our Lord, and I hope to see each and every one of those who are dear to me in that paradise.

I'm still contemplating the width, breadth, and depth of my committment to this new life/calling, but should things go in the direction I'm thinking, I may have no further need for my worldly and material posessions. If any of you would like to have anything of mine in particular, please send me an email or note it in the comments here. I'll try to weigh conflicting requests against the basis, duration, nature, world benefit and sincerity of our relationships, and come up with what will hopefully be equitable divisions of disputed articles. I do ask, however, that in exchange for the consideration, that you accept my determination without dischord amongst yourselves; I wouldn't want my actions to create further strife and chaos in the world I inhabit with all of you, but rather, to bring you all closer together, and in a direction closer to the Heavenly Father.

I will try and maintain this blog moving forward, but am a little conflicted and unsure as to the proper way to handle my old postings. On the one hand, they are accounts of my sinful and heathenly ways, but by the same token, they also serve as a constant reminder of how low I'd sunk before truly finding my spirituality, and perhaps they can serve as a beacon or roadmap for someone else. Father, give me strength and clarity in seeing the proper path, and if necessary, the strength to part with all my hard work and it's spoils.

The best of luck, brothers and sisters.

Go with God, Blessed Be, and Godspeed,

-Gene the (newly and improvedly) pious

Moving day (week)...

Now playing: Artful Dodger featuring Romina Johnson - Movin' Too Fast (Bump and Flex version)

I've just spent the past week (well, three and a half days) moving. I've been in this last place I think almost a year and a half. It was initially only meant to be temporary, but seemed to work well for a while. The dynamic, though, somewhat less-than-ideal, while initially just slightly bothersome, started to become grating and repressive; I didn't want to be there, and going home was never an inviting prospect. It was time for a change, and I decided to take a bit of a leisurely avenue in this process, since the last several moves I've participated in were all one-day affairs, or several-day-long-nonstop-death-march -type ordeals (read:Chicago). I spent the prior week perusing the local classifieds (OK, 5 minutes), tired of that and then went back to my old housing standby, craigslist. Standby meaning that I used it once, maybe twice in the past with varyingly good results.

There, I saw some interesting ads, met some quirky folks, saw some cool places, read about some total dumps, and saw a few photos of lord only knows what.

I find that searching for roommates (or "flatmates", as Laura and other European types are fond of saying,) has all the worst parts of dating composited into one experience. You go out into the world, and however you find these people, you have all of about 20-30 minutes to recall everything you've ever learned about character assessment and apply it to this poor individual, who is at the very same time, if they've the presence of mind to do so, making their own judgment of your suitability to task. Then, just as a further enticement to make the right decision, you are lunging into a cohabitation arrangement that even (prudent) lovers won't touch for x amount of time, if ever. If you judge shrewdly, you'll be rewarded with limitless joy in a domicile that embodies all the happiness, tranquility, peace, serenity, and regenerative effects that a warm home should, and if not, well, you get to physically touch, move, and touch again, every single thing you own a second time, and pretty soon, to boot. No pressure, though...have fun with it!

First up, I met a girl who had just gotten out of a four month roommate horror story of her own. Probably not the worst roommate ever, but maybe six tenths of the worst roommate ever, based on her retelling. She seems very enthusiastic over the phone and e-mail. So much so, and in such a way as to not be overly cheery, I actually am very enthusiastic about the prospect of meeting her, and have a pretty good feel for the place. I meet her, her boyfriend happens to be over, he seems cool enough, but she seems a lot more soft spoken, mousy, and unsure of herself than over the phone or email. Hrm. We chat for a bit, it goes pretty well, I give the standard "I've got a couple more places to look at, I'll call you in a day or two" schpiel, and go along my way. It's a decent place, a typical bed-and-bath in a typical house-in-the-burbs - a bit out of my way (probably 15 miles towards a part of town I never frequent; closer to D if I were still seeing her, but alas) but not a bad place to fall back on, as she's a bit of a workaholic, goes out of town some weekends, and spends a couple nights a week at the boyfriend's.

Next up, I have arrangements to meet the next girl, who effectively lives across the street and a jog down the block. This listing had photos, and the place looked pretty cool, I'm enthusiastic about this place, but the girl is closer to my age, and sounds kind of overly responsible over the phone and email, voicing concern with regards to my employment status. Hrm, can't imagine why anyone would be worried about that! ;) Turns out she's an elementary school teacher, and kind of reminds me of the wife of a friend of mine...not a great sign. The house shows even better than the last place, but this is also the highest rent of the several listing I'm considering. Hrm...maybe as a last last resort, and if I happen across that steamer trunk full of cash that I'm always hoping for. Give her the closing buy-some-time line, and move on.

During the assembly of those appointments, there was another ad that was suspiciously bereft of gender-specific pronouns. For some reason, I took this to mean that it was a chick, but I had no real reason to think that. As I exchange emails with this person, they sign off with their initials. OK, that seals it for me, it's a chick with a slightly overzealous security ethic, no problem. They're talking to someone already, but will let me know if it falls through. So the day after, I get the email that it has, in fact fallen through, it's short notice, but would I like to meet up and see the place? Arrangements are made, I see the place, and it's pretty cool. It's a guy, though, but he seems normal enough. Townhouse is a little on the smallish side, but it's nice, with an attached bath (one of my "overnight guests" pointed out that that's a particularly good thing to look for if one likes to entertain "overnight guests". Cool. I think this place is going to be it: the location's good, guy's normal, place is decent. I let him know that I like the place, but I do still ahve a couple more places to look at, will be in touch with him over the weekend. This was on Friday. No problem, the guy says, he'll be out of town, but still in touch.

I'd pretty much decided on taking that last place, and in making arrangements with my old roommate, indicated that i thought I could be out by the 11th, to allow her time to steam the carpets and such if she wanted, paint, whatever. Come to find out the guy is out of town for the whole week, and can't even meet with me again until the 12th, much less make arrangements so I can be moved in by then. Lovely. In the meantime, second girl has emailed me and is getting antsy...I think I saw her place on Tuesday? Wednesday at the latest. So I email her that thanks, I should be OK, and she can in fact let the other guy looking at the place have it. Cool. Also on Saturday, first girl emails me and says that hey, after long hard though, she's decided to go with someone else too. Great, no problem. Now that I've seen a place with a better location, I'm loathe to drive 15 miles out of my way twice a day, every day, anyway. So back to Craigslist, where I see I think three more listings of interest. Two (one of which is included in my three of interest) seem to have verbiage implying that the person is gay. No problem, that should at least make for an interesting showing. I also see that girl #1 has relisted her exact same ad! WTF! Talk about weird chicks with an inability to say what's on their minds! Did I come across as psycho? Too slackerly? Not employed enough? I guess we'll never know. I'm a big boy, I can take the rejection, I assure you!

I hear back from two of the three latest listings, and have arrangements to see them..was it Saturday? Or Sunday? I want to say Saturday. First place is the potentially gay guy. I meet him at the place, it's a 1700SF townhome that looks utterly decrepit from the outside, but the interior is fabulously gay chic. And there's a rottweiler. He's friendly enough, but a slobber machine. While he's showing me the place (the guy, not the rott), all of a sudden, here's this other guy out of nowhere. Now the first guy, when I met him, I thought, oh, OK this guy isn't gay, he's just soft-spoken. he's mildly latino looking, shaved head with a mustache and goatee. This new guy, however, fully gay. A bit older, and not swishy, but kinda butch flamboyant, if that makes sense. The place is a 3BR 2.5BA, and it turns out the second guy is not moving out for 2 more months, May 01. Til then, the new renter would take the third bedroom, share the second bath, and pay 1/3 rent until second guy leaves, then go to 1/2 rent, and get both BRs and the second bath. I end up chatting with the guys for a while, they're both pretty funny, and one was also from Chicago, while the second guy had live in Chi for a number of years, so we got along pretty well. I could live here in a pinch, but the sharing of the bath thing is a deal breaker for me. Again, good place to fall back on in case whatever my first choice is doesn't work out.

Finally, this last one kinda sounded too good to be true...who knows, the guy could still turn out to be an axe murderer, who knows. He's a 26 year old builder named Seth, and he's got a 2400 square foot house on a country club / golf course about 5 miles from my old place. It's the cheapest rent of all the places I've looked at, and the location is fairly convenient, movewise, but a little off the beaten path compared to where I was before. His old roommate is moving out to live with his girlfriend, to which we both snicker a little, kinda "what's he thinking?" The area is very nice, very convenient, on a block of say 250-400K homes. He bought the house as a fixer-upper, and is working on parts gradually. I'm handy, but need to learn how to do a lot of this stuff, so I offer to help in exchange for the learning and experience. He's also got a 3 year old pale yellow lab named Bailey. Bailey's very happy to meet me and we're fast friends. We shoot the shit a bit more about this and that, everything seems cool, so we seal the deal on a handshake, gotta love the south...I'll start moving in whenever I can, do it gradually over the week, and shoot to be completely moved by Friday.

It reminds me of the old adage, "Why is it that whatever you're looking for is always in the last place you look?" Well of course, once you find it, you stop looking. I'm fairly excited about the potential here, it's definitely a lot more "overnight guest" friendly. Not that my old place wasn't, but the situation made things somewhat awkward. With this place set up as kind of a bachelor pad, who knows...perhaps when he goes to the Greek Isles in May, it'll be Gene's naked house party time, haha.

Photos soon. For now, I must sleep...much screwing around to be done on the morrow.

Travel planning...

Now playing: Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde

DC bound!...? Well, maybe...My beloved Laura tells me that she'll be stateside for several days toward the end of the month:



Hello!

Always so good to hear from you, always apologetic for my inability to
properly stay in touch!

I arrive in DC Monday 27 March at 14:10.
I depart DC Thurs 30 March at 11:20.

My days will be busy with work, but my evenings are wide open.

I have a favourite bar/cafe that used to have a fabulous mojito happy
hour (have to check if that's still in place) and there's a legendary
chili dog place that I'm determined to visit. Voila.

I would love to see you (understatement).

Thoughts?

Laura



So naturally, I'm trying to figure out the logistics of heading out there for a visit to spend some long-overdue time with her. Three evenings and a morning would be dreamy! Last time I saw her, was of course, during my last (and first) trip to the EU in December of 2004...is that right? 2004? 2003? Maybe 2003. Laura? I guess I could look it up pretty easily...I want to say 2003 though.

"...Evenings are wide open." between that verbiage, the chili dogs and the mojitos, what's not to love about this girl? And I haven't even mentioned the haunting beauty, the cosmopolitan worldliness, or the "Iowa goodness"! !

Well, regardless, the timing for this trip seems fortuitous, so here's to hoping. Will have to stop in at the 18th Street Lounge (which is, of course, owned by the band Thievery Corporation and the name of their record label, aren't I cool?) to see if that Romanian guy (and his cute swedish blonde girlfriend) is still bartending, and that other bar...hrm, can't even really remember where it was or what it was called. Lucky I'm kind of lukewarm on the whole prospect of DC itself, so we can hit Laura's old haunts...mojitos for everyone!

As an aside, here's a 'review' of the aforementioned ESL. Verbiage of the review follows, but the last (and first) time I was there, it was during the middle of the week, and nowhere near as happening as is described (nor were there any bouncers...but the lack of identification definitely gave it a chic townies / insiders-only feel):



Teddy Roosevelt once lived in this magnificent historic mansion on 18th Street, part of the coveted Dupont Circle district. These days it's an ultra-classy lounge-club that‚ so chic it doesn't advertise and hardly has it's name above the door. Regulars are big-name politicos, celebrity locals and upscale out-of-towners who continue the high-brow standards set by the former Prez. Known as ESL, bouncers stand guard outside and it's best to leave your jeans and trainers at home if you want a sniff at getting in. Spread over two floors with a stairwell between, gorgeous girls in Prada, Dolce and Versace lie back on couches sipping negronis, watching dashing men in Armani smoke imported cigars over iced bourbon. DJs spin hot urban tunes, those with the urge to boogie take to the dance floor and the general Sex and the City-meets-West Wing vibe sends out a rather powerful and seductive energy.



Also, Daisy (and Mr. Daisy, for that matter) have just returned from a tropical cruise...that idea sounds nice, I'll have to get the lowdown, find a travel buddy, and try one of those myself...must get info from the Daisy(s).

Someone wish me "Bon voyage", goddamnit!

Ciao...[/swoon]

Catches 23 and up...

I've been trying to write more frequently, with the caveat that such frequency will probably diminish the average length (and perhaps erode the already low quality standards) of these posts, which is of course, just fine if I'm posting more as a result. For a little while I'd just as soon have quantity over quality, because part of the problem with writing of late has been that these entries get so goddamned long from my desire to include every aspect of every position of every angle of the issue I'm talking about, thus making the entries both unwieldy to write, and a general pain in the ass to read. A general lack of time, and/or my continued piss-poor time management skills has led me to continuously put off writing posts, so the longer I don't write, the more complete I feel the posts need to be when I DO write, and thus, the cycle continues.

This week in particular, I should be doing about a half dozen other things as well: moving, getting my real estate broker's application in the mail, taxes, etc. Then, on top of all that, I think I'm coming down with something. At first, I thought it was just overexertion from loading the truck up with boxes yesterday, but now I definitely think it's a cold/the flu. Suck. Big party weekend, too. Ah well, perhaps a nap is in order. More soon, send vitamin C, zinc, and/or good non-sick vibes.

Asian fetishes...

Now Playing: FischerSpooner - Emerge

So one of the things I've always kind of ranted about, given half an opportunity, (hell, I may have done it here already...i't sbeen so long, that I forget what I have and haven't written about) is the apparent sexual disparity in the fetishization (I don't think that's actually a word, but I'm going to continue to use it and trust you to both get my drift and keep up) of Asian women vs Asian men. Men of all ethnicites, ages, or any other demographic selector you care to use, fetishize Asian women. Further, I find that the universality of this fetish is so far-reaching, that Asian women are perhaps the most fetishized class of all. Probably more so than any other race, redheads (which I never really got, but yet I seem to end up dating a lot of redheads, go figure) and schoolgirls, for example, but probably not strippers or porn stars, which might not really be demographic selectors at all. I might have made that term up too. Not necessarily every guy wants/lusts after the idea of Asian women, but guys from any and every group invariably do. Whereas there is no correspondent widespread "mob lust", if you will, of Asian men. I've always challenged anyone to come up with even one Asian guy in mainstream american pornography. Seriously, even one. Can't be done? That's because there haven't been any. Period. (As far as I know, but I've yet to be proven wrong.)

What brings this topic to the forefront for me today, is the chance "meeting" of a girl last night. In talking to a dear friend today, it was determined that I had had this particular girl pointed out to me before, (several weeks ago) and not only did I apparently show no interest toward her then, but I seem to have no recollection of her even having been pointed out. Part of this could have been due to a prejudicial (and possibly erroneous) mindset associating her with a somewhat superficial crowd, perhaps more interested in seeing and being seen, than seeking out and/or valuing and pursuing real, deeper connections with people. Well, I officially "met" her last night, under some odd circumstances that I won't get into here, but I definitely at the time didn't know about/remember the earlier encounter.

She's a stunning blonde, with people apparently telling her she resembles celebrities from Gwen Stefani to a blonde Dita von Teese. Almost as if to illustrate the point this guy came up and told her she looked like someone while we were talking, who I totally didn't see the resemblance at all, but it escapes me exactly who it was at the moment. Said blonde is apparently a glamour model who does various types of work to that effect. She and I learned that we have some things in common, so that led to more talk on more and more random topics. Come to find out she's been to and spent a good deal of time in Korea, speaks some Korean, and when I told her that she's only the second blond white girl I've met who speaks Korean, she came out to me a little and admitted to having a bit of a 'thing' for Asian guys ("Score!", I vaguely remember thinking.) But you would think that all that time over there would/could produce AT LEAST ONE suitable suitor? Go figure. Well, far be it from me to question a set of circumstances that, in the end, benefits me.

Having said all that, however, I do have to say that for there not actually being parity in the objectification and associated desirability and/or fetishization of men vs. women of Asian heritage (I always have to remind myself to capitalize that A,) I have to say that I've probably had way more than my fair share of women who range from a mild curiosity to an out-and-out fetish. I definitely know of a few Asian guys in their twenties who are allegedly either virgins or near-virgins, and being Asian hasn't helped them any AT ALL, so in that regard, I've been very fortunate, and can only hope that I helped promote a positive image of Asian sexual prowess. Or something, heh. To be fair, I have also completely been unable to close the deal with at least one girl with an established and self-described Asian fetish, and one (Ames Esq., I'm looking in your direction) with an apparent, but undeclared/unidentified (closeted?) Asian fetish.

Of the ones where I WAS able to close the deal, an area of discussion of note is that I've been the first ever Asian guy for a good number of women, perhaps as high as 20-30 percent of the women I've been with? (Not that I know that number or even have an estimation, that's just a seat-of-the-pants guess.) Though if you were to restate that question in such a way as to ask how many of the women I've been with have been with, say more than 5 or 6 Asian guys before me, that number would probably be much, much smaller, in the neighborhood of well under ten percent. Interesting statistics, no? Either way, being beheld as a representation of one's entire race (wrong as it may be, people do it all the time for far lesser considerations) can be a bit daunting, especially in the rare case where it IS seen as something desirable, and is a causal factor in getting us horizontal in the first place.

I'm sure I'll have more on this later, but it's 4am, and I need sleep.

Oh, and incidentally, for those interested, things went well with the blonde, yay. Hope things go more well in the future, we'll see how that all unfolds. I also met a half-Japanese girl who claims to have been in Penthouse (September 2004 maybe?) Suffice it to say, it was an interesting (and surreal at the same time) evening.

Life is good. And by good, I mean charmed.

More soon,

-Gene