Best hair day ever...
The greater Charlotte area is just plagued by hotties.
I go to get my hair cut today, I'm a few minutes late, so I walk into the salon, and my two favorite stylists, A and B (OK, maybe I like B about a hundred and eight times better, let me tell the story already!) are sitting in their respective chairs, toying with their hair. Naturally, this is too ripe an opportunity to pass up, so I remark some lame remark about how it must be nice to get paid to mess with one's own hair all day. Both their faces dour for an instant, before they look up and they light up when they realize that they get to mess with mine now as payback.
We're off to a good start. We chit chat a little while about minor nothings, and since we all had such a good time last month, I figure it's OK to flirt with object-of-my-make-out-fantasy B. They both seem to be in good spirits, and there's no one else in the place. Talk a little about travel, and the determination is made that I can't flirt with both of them while A is cutting my hair, it's too distracting. Fine, I say, B will be sole target until A finishes, then she gets a turn.
B finds a reason to remove her smock at this point, under which she's wearing this pastel striped baby tee...I just about have a coronary (all those prime ribs finally get their revenge...) but immediately notice that she's got a hot tattoo around one of her biceps...kind of played out, I know, but it works on her. I also notice that with as many times as I've seen her, I've never meen made privy to her magnificent rack...ouch. The giant mirror definitely helps in the stealth ogling department. Naturally, at this point, the flirting gets cranked to eleven.
They proceed to tell me that I should become a hairdresser. My only natural reaction is that hey, what if I have no skill cutting and styling hair? They're like "oh, it doesn't matter, plenty of stylists suck ass. You're cute, and Asian, so you'll rake in the dough." Would I need to be gay? or at least bi? "Nah, it might help, but you're good looking enough that it wouldn't matter. [swoon!] Somehow it comes up that it might help earnings if I were to dance a little, and should they go ahead and get a pole installed? I tell them no need, I know where they have poles, and what are they doing tonight? The girls giggle, and A does something where she sorta rubs my head, and I say "ooh, do that again..." She does, and I wonder aloud how nice it might be if they did it together. I'm chastized for being so bad...[sigh] (But I DID get B to fondle my head later...as I sat in her chair for the first time.) (!) [shudder]
I innocently inquire as to why B doesn't just take her "old man" to the Bahamas with her on vacation (She'd mentioned that she's going with a girlfriend...might have to find out where/when and "accidentally" be there...), and A chimes in "she doesn't have a man!" To which I respond, Hrm, what did you say your number was?" B demurely says that she's divorced, but does have a boyfriend. "Well, at the risk of repeating myself, what did you say your number was?" A remarks that it doesn't matter unless you're married, and I add, "...sometimes not even then..." The visit went on for over an hour (actual hair cutting time: 23 minutes), but it felt like the shortest amount of time I've ever been there, alas.
I so wish I had a camera with me, the mood was ideal for an impromptu photo session, the better with which to capture that heavenly baby tee and that spectacular rack. [sigh] Perhaps next month...
She also has the cutest pedicured toes, but that's an obsession for another day.
How did my haircut turn out? No clue. Don't know, don't care. Might have to go back next week and get it shaved off. [titter]
The ride over to my brother's was largely uneventful, and once again I'm faced with the reality that I can't stand beign around his kids for more than about 8-13 minutes, absolute tops. Naturally, they've completely wrecked my truck...i'ts full of dirt, unidentified kid goo, and crumbles of every substance known to mankind rubbed into every square inch of the luxurious cut pile carpeting. Ah well, I guess it IS a truck...still...grumble...
Made eye contact and elicited smiles from a few random beautiful, beautiful babies in other cars, and with one statuesque blonde walking down the street as I'm pulling out of the greengrocer's on the way home. I just love it here!
In other news, this was seen on and then subesquently misappropriated/stolen from AllthingsChristie, which was then in turn yoinked from somewhere else (BBSpot). While I'm generally against all manner of movie hype whatseover, let alone all this Star Wars silliness, but in this case, I think several of them are quite clever. I know, the originas of quite a few of them, but there are a couple I just can't place...chime in in the comments if you know the original quotes and/or their sources...
Top Eleven Misappropriated Star Wars Quotes: Episode II
11. "Sometimes you eat the wookiee, and sometimes, well, he eats you."
10. "No, Obi-Wan, I expect you to die!"
9. "One time... at clone camp..."
8. "My name is Luke Skywalker. You are my father. Prepare to die."
7. "I'm thinking about taking that new chick from Alderaan. If things go right I might be showing her my Obi-face. You know: Oh. Oh. Obi-wan."
6. "You're the Emperor? I thought you'd be taller."
5. "I'll get you, my Jedi... and your little droid R2!"
4. "Yes you did, Qui-Gon. You tried to fuck him. And Darth Maul don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Maul."
3. "Saturday, Anakin, is Shabbos, the Jedi day of rest. That means that I don't duel, I don't get in a landspeeder, I don't ride in a landspeeder, I don't reprogram the droids, I don't turn on my lightsaber, and I sure as shit DONT FUCKING ROLL! SHOMER SHABBOS!"
2. "If you want to be a Jedi, you've got to REALLY hate the Empire"
...and number one...
"Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Yoda, Windu, Kenobi? Morons!"
[pause here for things to sink in, wait for chuckles of recognition. Comment.]
Bon weekend kids, play nice.
I go to get my hair cut today, I'm a few minutes late, so I walk into the salon, and my two favorite stylists, A and B (OK, maybe I like B about a hundred and eight times better, let me tell the story already!) are sitting in their respective chairs, toying with their hair. Naturally, this is too ripe an opportunity to pass up, so I remark some lame remark about how it must be nice to get paid to mess with one's own hair all day. Both their faces dour for an instant, before they look up and they light up when they realize that they get to mess with mine now as payback.
We're off to a good start. We chit chat a little while about minor nothings, and since we all had such a good time last month, I figure it's OK to flirt with object-of-my-make-out-fantasy B. They both seem to be in good spirits, and there's no one else in the place. Talk a little about travel, and the determination is made that I can't flirt with both of them while A is cutting my hair, it's too distracting. Fine, I say, B will be sole target until A finishes, then she gets a turn.
B finds a reason to remove her smock at this point, under which she's wearing this pastel striped baby tee...I just about have a coronary (all those prime ribs finally get their revenge...) but immediately notice that she's got a hot tattoo around one of her biceps...kind of played out, I know, but it works on her. I also notice that with as many times as I've seen her, I've never meen made privy to her magnificent rack...ouch. The giant mirror definitely helps in the stealth ogling department. Naturally, at this point, the flirting gets cranked to eleven.
They proceed to tell me that I should become a hairdresser. My only natural reaction is that hey, what if I have no skill cutting and styling hair? They're like "oh, it doesn't matter, plenty of stylists suck ass. You're cute, and Asian, so you'll rake in the dough." Would I need to be gay? or at least bi? "Nah, it might help, but you're good looking enough that it wouldn't matter. [swoon!] Somehow it comes up that it might help earnings if I were to dance a little, and should they go ahead and get a pole installed? I tell them no need, I know where they have poles, and what are they doing tonight? The girls giggle, and A does something where she sorta rubs my head, and I say "ooh, do that again..." She does, and I wonder aloud how nice it might be if they did it together. I'm chastized for being so bad...[sigh] (But I DID get B to fondle my head later...as I sat in her chair for the first time.) (!) [shudder]
I innocently inquire as to why B doesn't just take her "old man" to the Bahamas with her on vacation (She'd mentioned that she's going with a girlfriend...might have to find out where/when and "accidentally" be there...), and A chimes in "she doesn't have a man!" To which I respond, Hrm, what did you say your number was?" B demurely says that she's divorced, but does have a boyfriend. "Well, at the risk of repeating myself, what did you say your number was?" A remarks that it doesn't matter unless you're married, and I add, "...sometimes not even then..." The visit went on for over an hour (actual hair cutting time: 23 minutes), but it felt like the shortest amount of time I've ever been there, alas.
I so wish I had a camera with me, the mood was ideal for an impromptu photo session, the better with which to capture that heavenly baby tee and that spectacular rack. [sigh] Perhaps next month...
She also has the cutest pedicured toes, but that's an obsession for another day.
How did my haircut turn out? No clue. Don't know, don't care. Might have to go back next week and get it shaved off. [titter]
The ride over to my brother's was largely uneventful, and once again I'm faced with the reality that I can't stand beign around his kids for more than about 8-13 minutes, absolute tops. Naturally, they've completely wrecked my truck...i'ts full of dirt, unidentified kid goo, and crumbles of every substance known to mankind rubbed into every square inch of the luxurious cut pile carpeting. Ah well, I guess it IS a truck...still...grumble...
Made eye contact and elicited smiles from a few random beautiful, beautiful babies in other cars, and with one statuesque blonde walking down the street as I'm pulling out of the greengrocer's on the way home. I just love it here!
In other news, this was seen on and then subesquently misappropriated/stolen from AllthingsChristie, which was then in turn yoinked from somewhere else (BBSpot). While I'm generally against all manner of movie hype whatseover, let alone all this Star Wars silliness, but in this case, I think several of them are quite clever. I know, the originas of quite a few of them, but there are a couple I just can't place...chime in in the comments if you know the original quotes and/or their sources...
Top Eleven Misappropriated Star Wars Quotes: Episode II
11. "Sometimes you eat the wookiee, and sometimes, well, he eats you."
10. "No, Obi-Wan, I expect you to die!"
9. "One time... at clone camp..."
8. "My name is Luke Skywalker. You are my father. Prepare to die."
7. "I'm thinking about taking that new chick from Alderaan. If things go right I might be showing her my Obi-face. You know: Oh. Oh. Obi-wan."
6. "You're the Emperor? I thought you'd be taller."
5. "I'll get you, my Jedi... and your little droid R2!"
4. "Yes you did, Qui-Gon. You tried to fuck him. And Darth Maul don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Maul."
3. "Saturday, Anakin, is Shabbos, the Jedi day of rest. That means that I don't duel, I don't get in a landspeeder, I don't ride in a landspeeder, I don't reprogram the droids, I don't turn on my lightsaber, and I sure as shit DONT FUCKING ROLL! SHOMER SHABBOS!"
2. "If you want to be a Jedi, you've got to REALLY hate the Empire"
...and number one...
"Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Yoda, Windu, Kenobi? Morons!"
[pause here for things to sink in, wait for chuckles of recognition. Comment.]
Bon weekend kids, play nice.
posted by Gene at 4:58 PM
3 Comments:
Princess Bride (2, I think), Roadhouse, Office Space, The Wiz, and I recognize a few of the others but can't put titles to them. Enjoy your weekend!
"D"
should I expect a visit soon to detail the Cruiser too?? :P
update...already!
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