The days are just PACKED...
Tune of the week (month?!): Keo Nozari - Close Enough (Noel Sanger remix)
OK, let's see now...how many months has it been since the last update? Ah, okay...only 35 days...I'm improving. So much has happened, yet so little to tell. Here are but a few things that I've been thinking about writing about, but haven't had the time/motivation/inclination/whatever, that may or may not be covered at a later date:
-Selling of the childhood homestead
-Packing up/throwing out of 21+ years accumulation
-The chain of events set off by above-captioned items, and the requisite steps to facilitate said items
-Missed opportunity to have drinks with Alan
-Halloween update and/or photos
-"Back to work" in past post wasn't an allusion to an actual job job, but some freelance writing work I was doing at the time
Monday's events are of some note, as I started a real estate licensure class, on the path to becoming a real estate broker. This is both a quasi-capitulation to those so graciously informing me that I really need to be a productive member of society, and for me, the first step in my recently-determined eventual goal of real estate mogul/land baron status. Thing is, I've been talking about it for months, and only last week did I finally take the plunge and actually signed up for a class, paid the tuition, and took the requisite steps to secure a seat in this class. The downside is that it's a 70-hour class, and these hours aren't necessarily my normal awake/functional times. So on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for the next five weeks, I'll be sitting in a conference/meeting room at the Hilton Garden Inn in Pineville, NC from 9am to 4pm learning about the intricacies of real estate practice in North Carolina.
The only saving grace, was that when I showed up Monday morning, I noticed that there was a hottie in the parking lot, also approaching the hotel entrance. We both make our way to the front desk, where the clerk asks if we're here for the real estate program, and directs us down the hall to the right. We make eye contact and smile at one another, proceeding down the hall and to the right. He did say to the right didn't he? All that's down that way are broom closets and more rooms. I joke about not being able to follow directions and how we're already off to a bad start, she laughs, and we make some small talk. Upon heading down the hall in the opposite direction and finding the conference room (our OTHER right, apparently), she sits in the middle of the class, and I take my usual back-row slacker's place. The guy in the room taking names and getting things together says that the class will go better if we pair up and sit together, so wouldn't you know it, the cutie gets up, smiles at me and walks back to sit with me. This might not be such an unbearable five weeks, after all.
Over the course of the day, we flirt a bit and remark about the instructor, the class materials and subject matter, and other students. I find out her name, (in my tradition of lettered girls, she'll be "B"...was there a B already? I can't remember...) that she's currently a bartender at a brass-and-fern near my place (score!), and from California within the last couple years. We are unable to have lunch together due to respective errands that demand lunchtime attention, but plan on it in the future. It dawns on me that I absolutely need to sleep with her, and that I have basically 70 hours to do so. It helps that we seem to get along, and that it's a pretty intensive course and subsequent exam, so there will naturally be a ton of study time and opportunity. Will have to get her number and e-mail on Wednesday, and plant the seeds of the benefits of a constant-contact arrangement. Developments as they occur.
Having successfully completed the initial class (with an 80% or better attendance and grade), I'll sit for the state licensing board exam, (provided my criminal background check comes back to their satisfaction,) then another 60-hour class in January, and I should be good to go, as the kids say. Joy.
Background update: about a week ago, P (the stripper college student that I met, oh back in May/June who went back to her BF and basically dropped off the face of the planet for five months) calls me up and leaves me this message, something along the lines of "Hey, what's going on, just calling to see what's up and if you want to swing by and F me later...okay, talk to you soon." Only the middle part went by pretty quickly and was kinda garbled, so I had to listen to it multiple times to be certain of what I was hearing. (She'd called a couple weeks before Halloween, but I later found out that she was back with the ex again...apparently I missed the boat when I didn't call her back in a couple days, and she got antsy.) Sure enough though, this time it was a definite booty call, and so to make a long story less long, we got together, played, and hung out basically all weekend. Hang out most of the day on Friday, club Friday night, piddle around Saturday day, she works Saturday night, club again after that, Sunday brunch, many mimosas, mall wandering, peppered with nakedness and making out. Yay, I'm in with the stripper.
After class on Monday, I stopped off at Wal-Mart to pick up the business calculator (HP 10BII) needed for the class and test. While I was there, P calls, and talks to me rather cryptically...what am I doing, could I see her, she's being a bad student, etc. weird. Apparently, she's at the corner store, and can't exactly talk freely. I say sure, I'll head over as I leave. about 20-25 minutes later, as I'm walking to my car, calc in hand, she calls again, this time a bit more succinct: "You need to get over here right now. I'm drunk, horny, and there are topless lesbians in my backyard. we're going to have a F-ing contest, and see who makes the most noise." Okay then! Of course, it was about three minutes after five, and rush hour was in full effect. Despite this, however, I manage to make decent time and arrive just before dark. I arrive to find her and her upstairs neighbor, M (24) and girlfriend L (22), the aforementioned lesbians, drunk and playing Clue (yes, the board game.) L, the more nubile and hotter of the two, gets up and greets me with a surprisingly warm hug and kiss (cheek). I think to myself, "that's kind of odd", but go with it.
I met M and L when I was briefly introduced to them last Wednesday, after P and I had just consummated our booty call endeavour. Apparently P had just broken up with her boyfriend on Tuesday, and the lesbians had just seen him Monday. They seemed curious as to who I was, but were pleasant and not much more than that.
So as I'm watching them finish their game of clue, P proceeds to tell me how she's gone ahead and divulged to the lesbians how we met, and that we have a purely physical relationship, how lovely and magnificent my penis is, that I'm a great kisser. (Note to self, there's nothing like having a stripper do you PR, especially when it's so enthusiastically!) L declares that she would absolutely love to see how good a kisser I am, gets up, walks around the table to me, and proceeds to do so, quite enthusiastically. I think, hey, if you're enjoying this as much as your tongue indicates, that really makes you bisexual, and not a full-on lesbian, but I decided that now was not the time to have that discussion, lest the brakes be put on. M seems to enjoy having seen that, and L agrees that I am, in fact a very good kisser, she's thought that I was incredibly hot since we met on Wednesday, and that she almost would consider being straight just to see if the good-in-bed thing that she was hearing was as incredible as represented to her as well. M says that she wants a taste (no pun, I guess) too, and comes around for a sample herself. I may have moaned just a little bit when kissing her, as she proudly exclaims that "I made him moan!". It was nice, but I did enjoy L's time just a bit more. P declares that she is feeling very neglected, so M leans over and kisses her for a good little bit, followed by a turn with L. P calls L a dirty slut, the lesbians giggle and L says "I am, aren't I?", and I think that this is really shaping up to be a good opportunity to get a naked four-way romp in bed going, when sure enough, they all start alluding to just that. While they're finishing their game, more adulatory remarks are directed at me (blush!), flirting attempted, and general silliness exhibited. Unfortunately, they were all subject to a little alcohol-induced ADD, so when the subject of food came up, we dispersed for dinner...M and L, and P and I, to respective destinations.
Upon our return after dinner, I notice that L's car is missing, and figure they must still be at dinner. A few minutes later, P says "Listen! Those sluts are having sex!" I couldn't hear anything over the HVAC, and L's car was gone, so I actually tried to argue with her and say that it couldn't be, their car was gone. She has me turn off the HVAC, and sure enough, you can hear rhythmic bed creaking from above. We decide to get it on as well, and then hilarity ensues. We get naked and start to kiss, but then I can't find the condoms...I'm looking around for them (quite frantically), but P is getting antsy: " Go upstairs and get some!" "But why would THEY have condoms?" "Trust me, they have them!" I was pretty set on trying to find mine (I'm somewhat partial to my brand, and don't really like other ones, unless there's no choice.) This was apparently not the right answer, as she says "Fine, I'LL go get them", and takes off up the outside stairs, completely naked. There's some commotion upstairs, and then she returns with a condom. I'd found mine while she was gone, so we went about the task at hand. Not two minutes after we were finished, there's knocking on the door, and in spill M and L, declaring that "we want to watch!" They see that we're naked, and one of them might have said something like "eww, penis!" They seem disappointed that they've missed the action, and tell us to "Do it again!" I tell them that guys don't have the benefit of being able to go again right away, and that maybe in a few minutes, we could oblige them. Funny stuff. I put a towel on, and we all laugh and cavort while the girls have a smoke. More innuendo, more offers to help reinforce the male cause in the girls' eyes (one guess as to who offered that), and more allusions to a group event at some later time. Alas, not much more was going to happen that night.
So the moral of the story, is that if there's anything to be learned from all this, is that if you start a class with a hottie sitting next to you, that apparently makes you more attractive to lesbians. Or something like that. I need to start writing to Penthouse or something. Unbelievable.
More soon, hopefully.
(Yeah, I know it's after 4:30am, and I have to be up before 8, but I napped for like 5 hours earlier...)
OK, let's see now...how many months has it been since the last update? Ah, okay...only 35 days...I'm improving. So much has happened, yet so little to tell. Here are but a few things that I've been thinking about writing about, but haven't had the time/motivation/inclination/whatever, that may or may not be covered at a later date:
-Selling of the childhood homestead
-Packing up/throwing out of 21+ years accumulation
-The chain of events set off by above-captioned items, and the requisite steps to facilitate said items
-Missed opportunity to have drinks with Alan
-Halloween update and/or photos
-"Back to work" in past post wasn't an allusion to an actual job job, but some freelance writing work I was doing at the time
Monday's events are of some note, as I started a real estate licensure class, on the path to becoming a real estate broker. This is both a quasi-capitulation to those so graciously informing me that I really need to be a productive member of society, and for me, the first step in my recently-determined eventual goal of real estate mogul/land baron status. Thing is, I've been talking about it for months, and only last week did I finally take the plunge and actually signed up for a class, paid the tuition, and took the requisite steps to secure a seat in this class. The downside is that it's a 70-hour class, and these hours aren't necessarily my normal awake/functional times. So on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for the next five weeks, I'll be sitting in a conference/meeting room at the Hilton Garden Inn in Pineville, NC from 9am to 4pm learning about the intricacies of real estate practice in North Carolina.
The only saving grace, was that when I showed up Monday morning, I noticed that there was a hottie in the parking lot, also approaching the hotel entrance. We both make our way to the front desk, where the clerk asks if we're here for the real estate program, and directs us down the hall to the right. We make eye contact and smile at one another, proceeding down the hall and to the right. He did say to the right didn't he? All that's down that way are broom closets and more rooms. I joke about not being able to follow directions and how we're already off to a bad start, she laughs, and we make some small talk. Upon heading down the hall in the opposite direction and finding the conference room (our OTHER right, apparently), she sits in the middle of the class, and I take my usual back-row slacker's place. The guy in the room taking names and getting things together says that the class will go better if we pair up and sit together, so wouldn't you know it, the cutie gets up, smiles at me and walks back to sit with me. This might not be such an unbearable five weeks, after all.
Over the course of the day, we flirt a bit and remark about the instructor, the class materials and subject matter, and other students. I find out her name, (in my tradition of lettered girls, she'll be "B"...was there a B already? I can't remember...) that she's currently a bartender at a brass-and-fern near my place (score!), and from California within the last couple years. We are unable to have lunch together due to respective errands that demand lunchtime attention, but plan on it in the future. It dawns on me that I absolutely need to sleep with her, and that I have basically 70 hours to do so. It helps that we seem to get along, and that it's a pretty intensive course and subsequent exam, so there will naturally be a ton of study time and opportunity. Will have to get her number and e-mail on Wednesday, and plant the seeds of the benefits of a constant-contact arrangement. Developments as they occur.
Having successfully completed the initial class (with an 80% or better attendance and grade), I'll sit for the state licensing board exam, (provided my criminal background check comes back to their satisfaction,) then another 60-hour class in January, and I should be good to go, as the kids say. Joy.
Background update: about a week ago, P (the stripper college student that I met, oh back in May/June who went back to her BF and basically dropped off the face of the planet for five months) calls me up and leaves me this message, something along the lines of "Hey, what's going on, just calling to see what's up and if you want to swing by and F me later...okay, talk to you soon." Only the middle part went by pretty quickly and was kinda garbled, so I had to listen to it multiple times to be certain of what I was hearing. (She'd called a couple weeks before Halloween, but I later found out that she was back with the ex again...apparently I missed the boat when I didn't call her back in a couple days, and she got antsy.) Sure enough though, this time it was a definite booty call, and so to make a long story less long, we got together, played, and hung out basically all weekend. Hang out most of the day on Friday, club Friday night, piddle around Saturday day, she works Saturday night, club again after that, Sunday brunch, many mimosas, mall wandering, peppered with nakedness and making out. Yay, I'm in with the stripper.
After class on Monday, I stopped off at Wal-Mart to pick up the business calculator (HP 10BII) needed for the class and test. While I was there, P calls, and talks to me rather cryptically...what am I doing, could I see her, she's being a bad student, etc. weird. Apparently, she's at the corner store, and can't exactly talk freely. I say sure, I'll head over as I leave. about 20-25 minutes later, as I'm walking to my car, calc in hand, she calls again, this time a bit more succinct: "You need to get over here right now. I'm drunk, horny, and there are topless lesbians in my backyard. we're going to have a F-ing contest, and see who makes the most noise." Okay then! Of course, it was about three minutes after five, and rush hour was in full effect. Despite this, however, I manage to make decent time and arrive just before dark. I arrive to find her and her upstairs neighbor, M (24) and girlfriend L (22), the aforementioned lesbians, drunk and playing Clue (yes, the board game.) L, the more nubile and hotter of the two, gets up and greets me with a surprisingly warm hug and kiss (cheek). I think to myself, "that's kind of odd", but go with it.
I met M and L when I was briefly introduced to them last Wednesday, after P and I had just consummated our booty call endeavour. Apparently P had just broken up with her boyfriend on Tuesday, and the lesbians had just seen him Monday. They seemed curious as to who I was, but were pleasant and not much more than that.
So as I'm watching them finish their game of clue, P proceeds to tell me how she's gone ahead and divulged to the lesbians how we met, and that we have a purely physical relationship, how lovely and magnificent my penis is, that I'm a great kisser. (Note to self, there's nothing like having a stripper do you PR, especially when it's so enthusiastically!) L declares that she would absolutely love to see how good a kisser I am, gets up, walks around the table to me, and proceeds to do so, quite enthusiastically. I think, hey, if you're enjoying this as much as your tongue indicates, that really makes you bisexual, and not a full-on lesbian, but I decided that now was not the time to have that discussion, lest the brakes be put on. M seems to enjoy having seen that, and L agrees that I am, in fact a very good kisser, she's thought that I was incredibly hot since we met on Wednesday, and that she almost would consider being straight just to see if the good-in-bed thing that she was hearing was as incredible as represented to her as well. M says that she wants a taste (no pun, I guess) too, and comes around for a sample herself. I may have moaned just a little bit when kissing her, as she proudly exclaims that "I made him moan!". It was nice, but I did enjoy L's time just a bit more. P declares that she is feeling very neglected, so M leans over and kisses her for a good little bit, followed by a turn with L. P calls L a dirty slut, the lesbians giggle and L says "I am, aren't I?", and I think that this is really shaping up to be a good opportunity to get a naked four-way romp in bed going, when sure enough, they all start alluding to just that. While they're finishing their game, more adulatory remarks are directed at me (blush!), flirting attempted, and general silliness exhibited. Unfortunately, they were all subject to a little alcohol-induced ADD, so when the subject of food came up, we dispersed for dinner...M and L, and P and I, to respective destinations.
Upon our return after dinner, I notice that L's car is missing, and figure they must still be at dinner. A few minutes later, P says "Listen! Those sluts are having sex!" I couldn't hear anything over the HVAC, and L's car was gone, so I actually tried to argue with her and say that it couldn't be, their car was gone. She has me turn off the HVAC, and sure enough, you can hear rhythmic bed creaking from above. We decide to get it on as well, and then hilarity ensues. We get naked and start to kiss, but then I can't find the condoms...I'm looking around for them (quite frantically), but P is getting antsy: " Go upstairs and get some!" "But why would THEY have condoms?" "Trust me, they have them!" I was pretty set on trying to find mine (I'm somewhat partial to my brand, and don't really like other ones, unless there's no choice.) This was apparently not the right answer, as she says "Fine, I'LL go get them", and takes off up the outside stairs, completely naked. There's some commotion upstairs, and then she returns with a condom. I'd found mine while she was gone, so we went about the task at hand. Not two minutes after we were finished, there's knocking on the door, and in spill M and L, declaring that "we want to watch!" They see that we're naked, and one of them might have said something like "eww, penis!" They seem disappointed that they've missed the action, and tell us to "Do it again!" I tell them that guys don't have the benefit of being able to go again right away, and that maybe in a few minutes, we could oblige them. Funny stuff. I put a towel on, and we all laugh and cavort while the girls have a smoke. More innuendo, more offers to help reinforce the male cause in the girls' eyes (one guess as to who offered that), and more allusions to a group event at some later time. Alas, not much more was going to happen that night.
So the moral of the story, is that if there's anything to be learned from all this, is that if you start a class with a hottie sitting next to you, that apparently makes you more attractive to lesbians. Or something like that. I need to start writing to Penthouse or something. Unbelievable.
More soon, hopefully.
(Yeah, I know it's after 4:30am, and I have to be up before 8, but I napped for like 5 hours earlier...)
posted by Gene at 4:38 AM
2 Comments:
OR, the moral of the story is that when you hang out with a stripper outside of her natural habitat, strange things happen.
OR, that when you secretly wear ground rhino penis cologne, all women are helpless to your charms.
OR, that those chicks aren't really lesbians. They're spies, naturally. duh.
Un-friggen-believable.
I GOTSTA get down there.
Post a Comment
<< Home