Lips, assholes, and other filler...
In taking another page from Rosie's school of blogging, here's an amusing (if not somewhat verbose) IM that took place tonight, in lieu of any actual substantiative effort on my part. (Although learning to format the cut-and-pasted text from the IM window took just as long as writing an actual entry; I guess time savings are realized over many, many posts and taking this easier way out when my friends are suitably amusing...) Items in [brackets] denote minor details obscured to thinly veil identifying names and such. Clearly, I haven't quite gotten Rosie's knack for trimming the fat...as a result, this is a loooong entry...but it IS marginally funny, I swear!
Enjoy...
Session Start (Me:Her): Tue Jun 21 21:54:42 2005
[21:54:42] Her: ok
[21:54:57] Me: ok?
[21:55:06] Her: hrmmm
[21:55:08] Me: you're going to need to elaborate on that
[21:55:13] Her: I've acquired YET another asian male friend
[21:55:17] Her: what's with this
[21:55:18] Her: it
[21:55:33] Her: it's getting to be a bit embarassing.. not in a bad way.. but it looks like I have a fetish
[21:55:34] Her: heh
[21:56:16] Me: odd timing though, my buddy Mike today just asked me about "that bunch of hotties that was coming through Memphis"
[21:56:29] Me: maybe you do and it's time to sleep with me to test the waters
[21:56:57] Her: hrmph
[21:57:25] Her: I'd rather try out a slightly broken in asian man... than a, "I've slept with half of the south" asian man
[21:57:26] Her: ;p
[21:57:36] Me: haha
[21:57:41] Me: touche
[21:57:54] Me: I'll have you know, I'm still _well_ under triple digits, so "half the south" might be a tiny bit of an overstatement...
[21:59:44] Her: hrm you under triple digits? pfft
[21:59:49] Her: and I'm SURE you don't keep count
[21:59:50] Her: how could you
[22:00:00] Me: I have a rough idea ;)
[22:01:42] Her: hrmph
[22:01:52] Her: so yeh.. [my last name] is his name, oddly enough
[22:01:57] Her: totally platonic
[22:02:06] Her: one of my law clerks at work
[22:02:12] Her: oddly enough he lives only a few houses down from me
[22:02:30] Her: so [her hottie younger sister] is already making fun of me
[22:03:18] Me: haha, no way...first or last? chinese? korean?
[22:03:43] Me: totally platonic...I know the feeling, poor bastard
[22:04:41] Her: korean
[22:04:52] Her: raised in hawaii
[22:04:55] Her: he'll be a good drinking buddy
[22:05:17] Her: [my last name] is his first name
[22:05:52] Me: yeah, that's more typical for them
[22:05:58] Me: funny though
[22:07:54] Her: hrmm
[22:08:03] Her: asian entourage
[22:08:08] Her: now I need a thai guy
[22:08:15] Me: you know you're curious
[22:08:22] Her: curious about what?
[22:09:17] Me: lol, just messing with you, killer
[22:09:30] Her: curious.. pfft
[22:09:42] Her: asian men are no different than any other men
[22:09:47] Her: so there's nothing to be curious about
[22:10:06] Me: deny it all you like...the lure of the twinkie will win you over
[22:10:10] Me: haha
[22:10:36] Her: pfft
[22:10:40] Her: twinkie
[22:10:46] Her: where did this term come from anyway
[22:11:05] Her: it's ridiculous
[22:11:40] Me: yellow on the outside, white (and creamy) ;) inside
[22:11:42] Me: haha
[22:11:52] Her: eww
[22:11:57] Me: or banana, take your pick
[22:12:06] Me: the phallic angle is just an added bonus
[22:12:12] Her: unh huh
[22:12:24] Me: this is delicious, you have to admit
[22:12:35] Her: what's delicious?!
[22:12:51] Me: this whole conversation
[22:12:58] Her: how so?
[22:13:56] Me: just in general
[22:14:20] Her: hrm I have no desire to 'sample' different races of men
[22:14:25] Her: I don't discriminate
[22:14:27] Her: well I take that back
[22:14:33] Her: I'm not attracted to black men at all
[22:14:38] Her: just never have been
[22:14:49] Her: but as far as asian goes
[22:14:53] Her: it's the personality
[22:15:04] Me: lol, but _that's_ not a racist thing at all to say
[22:15:30] Me: but just for discussion's sake, what is it about the personality?
[22:15:48] Her: no no.. not that asians have distinctive personalities
[22:16:00] Her: if an asian guy has a great personality, i'm attracted to him the same i would be to a white guy
[22:16:17] Her: has nothing to do with "ooh.. an asian man"
[22:16:21] Me: hrm...that's not what you said, counsel
[22:16:25] Me: lol
[22:16:29] Her: yes it is sir
[22:16:40] Me: this dancer lately...did I tell you that story?
[22:16:50] Her: the dancer you're dating.. err.. sleeping with
[22:17:12] Me: came up to me, and in so many words said she wanted me cause she'd never been with an asian guy, and always wanted to
[22:17:29] Me: the asian thing has never paid off like that
[22:18:10] Her: heh see it's not like that for me
[22:18:48] Me: and OMG, black men are the most maligned, but conversely also the most fetishized, it's insane
[22:18:59] Me: so I guess it balances out
[22:20:30] Her: hrm yeh don't have a thing for black guys
[22:20:38] Her: same goes with blondes
[22:20:40] Her: with one exception
[22:20:48] Me: so you mentioned
[22:20:50] Her: dark haired guys who dye their hair platinum
[22:20:52] Me: oh yeah?
[22:20:55] Her: yeh
[22:20:57] Her: hrm
[22:21:07] Her: but natural blondes, or sandy blonde
[22:21:07] Her: ick
[22:21:19] Me: who's the one exception?
[22:21:26] Her: what exception?
[22:21:33] Her: do i have one?
[22:21:59] Me: ah, nm...missed a line
[22:22:03] Her: hrm
[22:22:06] Her: obviously
[22:22:07] Her: heh
[22:22:16] Me: hey, screw you :P
[22:22:19] Her: no
[22:22:20] Her: hrm
[22:22:23] Me: i'm entitled to miss a line here and there
[22:22:32] Her: yeh?
[22:22:36] Her: hrm
[22:23:00] Her: i wanna go to boston for a weekend
[22:23:13] Me: I'm going to charleston this weekend
[22:23:16] Her: eww
[22:23:17] Me: supposed to be pretty nice
[22:23:18] Her: too hot there
[22:23:22] Her: maybe in the winter
[22:23:29] Her: i know a girl in charleston
[22:23:34] Her: met her on a contiki tour
[22:23:37] Me: hello, it's the beach..i'ts supposed to be hot
[22:23:41] Her: was supposed to viisit but never did
[22:23:57] Me: ooh, is she hot?
[22:24:01] Her: no she's not
[22:24:06] Her: she's very nice
[22:24:08] Her: but not hot
[22:24:13] Me: ah, k
[22:24:28] Her: have you been to savannah
[22:24:32] Her: i want to go there, too
[22:24:35] Her: supposed to be very pretty
[22:25:01] Me: yeah, wanna
[22:25:05] Me: haven't
[22:25:10] Her: yeh
[22:25:11] Her: hrm
[22:25:18] Her: so yeh tell mike i never made it to memphis
[22:25:22] Her: or new orleans
[22:25:23] Her: shame there
[22:25:27] Her: i need to make that happen
[22:25:44] Me: ooh, we're going in nov and I need a date...wanna go?
[22:25:55] Her: i am NOT hanging out withyour swingers
[22:25:59] Me: weekend before thanksgiving I think
[22:26:02] Her: or i might say yes
[22:26:06] Me: lol, why not?
[22:26:11] Me: they're cool people
[22:26:14] Me: sheesh
[22:26:19] Her: provided they keep their clothes on
[22:26:29] Me: hrm
[22:26:35] Me: you drive a hard bargain :P
[22:27:06] Her: heh
[22:27:13] Her: white sox winning again! woohoo
[22:27:15] Her: oh
[22:27:15] Her: so
[22:27:18] Her: check this out
[22:27:20] Me: oh yeah?
[22:27:24] Her: [her younger younger sister] is living with [her hottie older (than the one just mentioned) younger sister] now
[22:27:29] Her: she's done with Purdue
[22:27:36] Her: she broke up wtih the red gold tomatoes guy
[22:27:44] Her: now she's dating her history teacher from high school
[22:27:52] Her: he's 31
[22:27:52] Her: she's 21
[22:27:57] Her: a fucking history teacher
[22:27:59] Me: slow down, I don't know any of this
[22:28:02] Me: tomatoes guy?
[22:28:06] Her: i'm not saying a damned thing because i think it's hilarious
[22:28:08] Me: history teacher?
[22:28:19] Her: yeh...[younger younger sis] was dating the heir to Red Gold tomatoes when she was in college
[22:28:20] Me: bah, 31/21 is nothing
[22:28:23] Her: i'm sure i told you that before
[22:28:28] Me: ah
[22:28:29] Me: nope
[22:28:30] Me: none of it
[22:28:38] Me: didn't even know she was at purdue
[22:28:48] Her: 31/21 is ridiculous as she's immature to an extreme and doesn't know a damned thing about herself or the world yet but thinks she does
[22:28:53] Her: that's a dangerous combination
[22:29:19] Me: bah, it's just fun
[22:29:23] Me: no one's getting married
[22:29:46] Her: hehe that's what you think
[22:29:48] Her: [younger younger sister] is an idiot
[22:30:02] Her: she's already talking about, "he understands me like no other.. he's so ambitious.. "
[22:30:06] Her: ugh
[22:30:18] Me: haha
[22:30:18] Her: he's a history teacher.. i'm gonna crack up if she marries this chooch or gets knocked up
[22:30:22] Her: no more nieman marcus for her
[22:30:30] Her: she's gonna be hanging at sears, jcpenney and kmart
[22:30:41] Me: that's true
[22:31:23] Her: but you can't say anything to her
[22:31:25] Her: so let her learn
[22:31:33] Her: big reality check incoming
[22:31:47] Her: sox won!
[22:31:50] Her: woohoo
[22:31:57] Me: heh, you're such a guy sometimes
[22:32:08] Her: you're such a girl sometimes so we're even, eh?
[22:32:41] Me: yes, that was EXACTLY what I was getting at :P
[22:33:06] Her: hrmmm
[22:33:34] Her: oh
[22:33:43] Her: i'm suing my landlord for my security deposit
[22:33:50] Her: have i told you this?
[22:33:53] Her: the sucker took some of it
[22:33:55] Me: last landlord?
[22:33:57] Her: yes
[22:34:00] Me: nope
[22:34:13] Her: if he doesn't refund the entire amount, i'm taking him to the cleaners
[22:34:53] Me: what was the rationale for retaining it?
[22:35:30] Her: uh "a thorough cleaning and excessive wear and tear to the carpeting"
[22:35:47] Her: i guess it sucks for him that we took pictures literally as we were leaving for the last time and they show that hte place was sparkling
[22:35:58] Me: nice
[22:36:14] Her: it also sucks for him that he chose to deduct money after the 30 day window within which he legally had the right ot do so
[22:36:48] Her: and it sucks for him that he commingled our security deposit with his own funds in his business account
[22:37:00] Her: as he wrote the check for the remainder of our deposit from his personal account
[22:37:14] Me: haha, that wouldn't seem to me to matter much
[22:37:17] Me: that last item
[22:37:21] Her: it's a huge issue
[22:37:26] Me: "comingled", nice
[22:37:34] Me: little miss legalese
[22:37:36] Her: a security deposit never becomes the property of hte landlord
[22:37:55] Her: it always remains the property of the tenant and must be kept in a federally insured, interest bearing account
[22:38:00] Me: but what the hell difference does it make where s/he/they keep it?
[22:38:09] Her: separate from a landlords personal and business assets
[22:38:18] Me: eh, if you say so
[22:38:22] Her: uh becuase if a landlord has debts with creditors
[22:38:29] Me: so how much did he keep? percentagewise?
[22:38:36] Her: they can go after his assets and wipe out a tenant's security deposit
[22:38:40] Me: no, I understand the rationale
[22:38:47] Her: if it's in a separate tenant trust account there's no such problem
[22:38:59] Me: i've just never really seen it in practice
[22:39:20] Her: ah well that's why you don't try fucking over a lawyer
[22:39:32] Her: which he did... trying to skim off our deposit
[22:39:36] Her: he withheld 400
[22:39:40] Her: which isn't a huge amount
[22:39:47] Her: but he shouldn't have withheld any
[22:39:57] Her: the filing fee is under 200 and i obviously don't have to pay for an atty
[22:40:03] Her: don't fuck with me.. he should have known that
[22:41:25] Me: lol
[22:41:31] Me: i'm so proud of you
[22:41:40] Me: I never knew you had this lever of vengefulness in you
[22:41:43] Me: girl after my own heart
[22:41:45] Her: heh
[22:41:47] Her: well
[22:41:56] Her: it's my mission to take down as many scumbags as possible
[22:42:09] Her: if he doesn't cough up my money.. he's going down for a good 7K
[22:42:12] Her: as he will have to hire an atty
[22:42:29] Me: 7K?! how did you come up with that figure?!
[22:42:31] Her: and the remedy is double your security deposit plus costs
[22:42:39] Her: my deposit was 2600
[22:43:08] Me: wow
[22:43:20] Her: yeh
[22:43:23] Her: fucking asshole
[22:43:31] Her: let him get his little firm atty too
[22:43:35] Her: i'll gun them down in court
[22:43:40] Me: lol
[22:43:45] Me: I would so love to see that
[22:43:45] Her: i haven't been doing trials and in a courtroom for two years for nothing
[22:43:48] Her: fucking pencil pushers
[22:43:50] Me: haha
[22:45:26] Her: hrmm
[22:45:35] Me: so what happened to tomatoboy?
[22:45:35] Her: have you watched nip/tuck yet?
[22:45:40] Her: eh she dumped him
[22:45:42] Me: not yet
[22:45:44] Her: he wanted her to stay in Indiana
[22:45:49] Her: she didn't want to
[22:45:52] Her: ugh Gene
[22:45:56] Her: nip tuck is so up your alley
[22:45:57] Her: it's sleazy
[22:45:59] Her: it's so you
[22:46:00] Me: lol
[22:46:01] Her: you have to watch it
[22:46:04] Her: sheesh
[22:46:07] Me: i will, I will
[22:46:09] Her: hot women
[22:46:10] Her: hot men
[22:46:11] Her: miami
[22:46:14] Her: what more do you need?
[22:46:18] Her: raunchy sex
[22:46:18] Me: haven't been able to find the complete first seasons to download
[22:46:20] Her: it's you
[22:46:36] Me: i'm flattered that you think of me when you think of hot men and women
[22:46:47] Me: and raunchy sex
[22:46:52] Her: hahahah
[22:47:01] Her: very well written
[22:47:09] Me: i'm not blogging today, I'm posting this conversation
[22:47:14] Her: hahahahah
[22:47:26] Her: lovely .. i'll be a blog celebrity
[22:47:28] Me: well, parts of it
[22:47:39] Me: and naturally, your name will be changed
[22:48:29] Her: ahhh protecting my identity.. so sweet
[22:48:29] Me: babe, you already are ;)
[22:50:40] Her: hrmm.. coupling is good, too
[22:50:47] Her: it's a british sitcom
[22:51:13] Me: I've heard that, actually
[22:53:34] Me: i'm watching oceans twelve, ever seen it?
[22:53:55] Her: yes
[22:54:01] Her: i watched it being filmed up here
[22:54:08] Her: i was nearly an extra in it ;p
[22:54:15] Me: ooh
[22:54:19] Me: look at you ;)
[22:54:21] Her: jen and i snuck on the set and they thought we belonged and touched up our makeup
[22:54:22] Her: heh
[22:54:25] Me: not bad so far
[22:54:28] Her: it was hilarious
[22:54:42] Me: chinese guy dating supermodel, good moral
[22:54:54] Me: i think it's funny how everyone just understands chinese in it
[22:55:40] Her: hrmmm
[22:56:32] Me: damn, CZJ is hot in this
[22:57:06] Her: she's one of my idols
[22:57:12] Her: angelina jolie and czj
[22:57:24] Her: if i woke up one morning in their bodies
[22:57:24] Me: yeah
[22:57:29] Her: i swear i'd just be walking around naked all day
[22:57:37] Her: i'd be arrested
[22:57:38] Her: heh
[22:57:39] Her: hahah
[22:57:53] Me: except CZJ is forever tainted for having touched michael douglas's old balls
[22:57:57] Her: true
[22:58:02] Her: so angelina jolie is the ultimate goddess
[22:58:07] Me: agreed
[22:58:14] Me: and I never knew you had a secret bi side
[22:58:17] Me: that's kinda hot
[22:58:19] Her: eh not bi
[22:58:22] Her: every woman is like that
[22:58:26] Me: haha
[22:58:27] Her: i don't want to have sex with them
[22:58:31] Her: but i can admire their beauty
[22:58:32] Me: you don't?
[22:58:35] Me: hrm
[22:58:39] Me: that's too bad
[22:58:48] Her: with women it's a catty, envy thing
[22:58:51] Her: not a sexual thing
[22:58:52] Her: heh
[22:58:58] Me: ah
[22:59:01] Her: hrmm
[22:59:09] Me: so you admit to being catty?
[22:59:16] Her: i certainly wouldn't be doing brad pitt if i was angie, though
[22:59:17] Her: yuck
[22:59:26] Me: haha
[22:59:32] Her: eh i can be catty..i think all women can to a certain extent
[22:59:36] Her: i'm not overly so
[22:59:48] Me: true
[23:01:07] Me: ok, not as hot with the long hair and bangs
[23:01:22] Her: who?
[23:01:40] Me: czj in the flashback scenes
[23:01:57] Her: ahhh
[23:02:02] Her: i think she looks better with long hair
[23:02:44] Me: generally, yes
[23:03:42] Me: but whatever you'd call this...bob cut or whatever that she has in "present day" is hot, damn...
[23:04:41] Her: hrm
[23:04:49] Her: i need to stop wearing these pointy shoes
[23:04:54] Her: my feet are KILLING
[23:04:58] Her: ill end up with those witchy feet
[23:05:13] Me: haha, OK
[23:05:19] Me: are they hot though? is it worth it?
[23:05:29] Me: hot shoes go a long way
[23:05:55] Her: i don't really wear "hot' shoes to work
[23:06:03] Her: not practical when i have to stand in court all morning
[23:06:22] Me: sure
[23:07:26] Me: we need to party, [Her name]
[23:08:23] Her: yeh i dunno about your style of partying, Mr. [my last name]
[23:08:27] Her: mmhmmm
[23:08:37] Her: Mr. FreakPot
[23:09:23] Me: freakpot?
[23:09:54] Her: yup
[23:09:55] Me: all I'm suggesting is that we get together, possibly have a few drinks, and chat
[23:10:01] Her: unh huh
[23:10:01] Me: where's the harm in that? That and we should be naked at the time.
[23:10:40] Her: no harm until you whip out the mask and cape and start banging random chicks left and right
[23:10:45] Her: ;p
[23:10:58] Me: LOL
[23:11:01] Me: mask and cape, huh?
[23:11:08] Me: you flatter/mock me
[23:11:26] Her: heh
[23:11:31] Her: it's a funny visual
[23:12:06] Me: hrm, we'll see just how funny by the comments the entry garners ;)
[23:12:52] Her: oh lovely, this makes the blog, also?
[23:13:31] Me: well, verbatim it's a big long in the tooth
[23:13:31] Her: hrmph
[23:13:41] Me: but that remark might make the cut
[23:13:43] Her: long in the tooth?
[23:14:10] Me: i think there are universally interesting statements here
[23:14:24] Her: yeh?
[23:14:25] Her: hrm
[23:14:26] Me: this whole conversation as a blog entry is a bit long and verbose to read, yeah
[23:14:34] Me: and not all of it has universal appeal
[23:14:40] Her: are you saying that my conversation requires extensive edits?
[23:15:18] Her: i'm addicted to Rachael Ray shows
[23:15:20] Her: have i told you this?
[23:15:33] Her: random and out of nowhere, i know
[23:15:49] Her: but i made this blockbuster homemade sangria and bbq the other day
[23:15:54] Her: courtesy of Ms. Ray
[23:15:54] Me: not for the audience of you and I, but for my readership, possibly
[23:15:57] Her: i doctored it a bit
[23:16:04] Me: lol, "blockbuster"
[23:16:05] Her: fabulous
[23:16:08] Her: yes, sir
[23:16:12] Me: I'm more an alton brown kinda guy myself
[23:16:18] Her: liberal amounts of fruit and alcohol
[23:16:19] Me: but I know of ms ray
[23:16:22] Her: i don't like alton
[23:16:26] Me: and she's kinda cute, but also kind of annoying
[23:16:27] Her: he annoys me
[23:16:30] Her: geek little turd
[23:16:34] Her: she can be a bit overly perky
[23:16:38] Her: but i like that she's down to earth
[23:16:39] Me: then I found out that she's like devout christian, so that kinda ruins it for me
[23:16:46] Her: and her recipes are easy to actually follow
[23:16:49] Her: wait
[23:16:51] Me: lol, geek little turd, nice
[23:16:52] Her: devout christian?
[23:16:56] Her: yucko
[23:16:58] Me: yeah, I think so
[23:17:02] Me: see?
[23:17:04] Me: I hate that
[23:17:13] Her: bah she's from new england
[23:17:16] Her: she has to be liberal
[23:17:17] Me: i really should research that more, but I think it's true
[23:17:28] Me: she was featured in guideposts magazine
[23:17:40] Me: LOL, that's not faulty logic
[23:17:52] Me: fron new england=liberal
[23:18:58] Her: well hey.. there's a very large liberal contingent there
[23:19:03] Her: with the exception of Maine
[23:19:17] Her: several people now have told me that it's like the kentucky of new england
[23:19:50] Me: haha, kentucky of new england, I love statements like that
[23:22:02] Her: so what kind of sleep schedule are we on these days Mr. [my last name]?
[23:22:03] Her: hrm?
[23:22:09] Her: what's the usual bedtime
[23:22:34] Me: eh, somewhat erratic
[23:22:40] Me: later on the weekends, obviously
[23:22:51] Me: during the week, just depends
[23:22:55] Me: 4am yesterday
[23:23:13] Me: if there's a blog entry, that's the best way to gauge, generally wihtint 30-60 minutes after blog posting
[23:24:33] Her: well 4am is better than 8am
[23:27:12] Me: yeah, 8am is really more saturday night/sunday morning
[23:28:36] Her: well weekends . that's acceptable
[23:28:48] Her: i love this fast connection
[23:28:52] Her: i can watch movie trailers now
[23:28:53] Her: heh
[23:29:02] Me: haha, you have broadband finally?
[23:29:08] Me: I can send you porn!
[23:29:16] Me: you can watch foamy
[23:29:21] Her: yes, sir i have a cable modem
[23:30:17] Me: do you steal cable TV service?
[23:30:56] Me: http://www.b18c5eg.com/illwillpress/
[23:31:04] Me: #39 dating advice
[23:31:20] Me: i've been trying to get you to watch that for like a year
[23:34:04] Her: no i'm not stealing cable because i don't know how ;)
[23:34:22] Me: just split it off and hook it up to your TV
[23:34:26] Me: voila
[23:34:30] Me: free cable
[23:37:23] Her: heh that was pretty good
[23:37:52] Me: when I first heard of those cartoons, I thought they were hilarious
[23:37:58] Me: but they've gotten lame over the years
[23:38:40] Me: but that one especially, message is good and the [her name] reference is a bonus
[23:39:37] Her: heh yeh well my name is not tattooed on my ass
[23:39:56] Me: no, but I often fanatasize that it is
[23:40:00] Me: haha
[23:40:05] Me: ok, not really
[23:40:41] Her: hrm
[23:41:21] Me: I also like #22, super mystery cult
[23:41:58] Me: ooh, #37, small, medium, large is a classic also
[23:43:17] Me: hrm, #22 is not as good as I remembered
[23:45:41] Her: i'll have to watch more later
[23:45:43] Her: ok [my last name]
[23:45:43] Me: haha, 37 IS as funny as I remembered
[23:45:57] Me: [my last name] #1, damn you!
[23:46:01] Her: 37 was pretty good
[23:46:03] Her: hahah
[23:46:10] Her: i'm outta here
[23:46:19] Her: nitenite freakpot
[23:46:21] Me: k, lates
[23:46:35] *** "Her" signed off at Tue Jun 21 23:46:34 2005.
Session Close (Hf2 ø³J ): Tue Jun 21 23:48:46 2005
Enjoy...
Session Start (Me:Her): Tue Jun 21 21:54:42 2005
[21:54:42] Her: ok
[21:54:57] Me: ok?
[21:55:06] Her: hrmmm
[21:55:08] Me: you're going to need to elaborate on that
[21:55:13] Her: I've acquired YET another asian male friend
[21:55:17] Her: what's with this
[21:55:18] Her: it
[21:55:33] Her: it's getting to be a bit embarassing.. not in a bad way.. but it looks like I have a fetish
[21:55:34] Her: heh
[21:56:16] Me: odd timing though, my buddy Mike today just asked me about "that bunch of hotties that was coming through Memphis"
[21:56:29] Me: maybe you do and it's time to sleep with me to test the waters
[21:56:57] Her: hrmph
[21:57:25] Her: I'd rather try out a slightly broken in asian man... than a, "I've slept with half of the south" asian man
[21:57:26] Her: ;p
[21:57:36] Me: haha
[21:57:41] Me: touche
[21:57:54] Me: I'll have you know, I'm still _well_ under triple digits, so "half the south" might be a tiny bit of an overstatement...
[21:59:44] Her: hrm you under triple digits? pfft
[21:59:49] Her: and I'm SURE you don't keep count
[21:59:50] Her: how could you
[22:00:00] Me: I have a rough idea ;)
[22:01:42] Her: hrmph
[22:01:52] Her: so yeh.. [my last name] is his name, oddly enough
[22:01:57] Her: totally platonic
[22:02:06] Her: one of my law clerks at work
[22:02:12] Her: oddly enough he lives only a few houses down from me
[22:02:30] Her: so [her hottie younger sister] is already making fun of me
[22:03:18] Me: haha, no way...first or last? chinese? korean?
[22:03:43] Me: totally platonic...I know the feeling, poor bastard
[22:04:41] Her: korean
[22:04:52] Her: raised in hawaii
[22:04:55] Her: he'll be a good drinking buddy
[22:05:17] Her: [my last name] is his first name
[22:05:52] Me: yeah, that's more typical for them
[22:05:58] Me: funny though
[22:07:54] Her: hrmm
[22:08:03] Her: asian entourage
[22:08:08] Her: now I need a thai guy
[22:08:15] Me: you know you're curious
[22:08:22] Her: curious about what?
[22:09:17] Me: lol, just messing with you, killer
[22:09:30] Her: curious.. pfft
[22:09:42] Her: asian men are no different than any other men
[22:09:47] Her: so there's nothing to be curious about
[22:10:06] Me: deny it all you like...the lure of the twinkie will win you over
[22:10:10] Me: haha
[22:10:36] Her: pfft
[22:10:40] Her: twinkie
[22:10:46] Her: where did this term come from anyway
[22:11:05] Her: it's ridiculous
[22:11:40] Me: yellow on the outside, white (and creamy) ;) inside
[22:11:42] Me: haha
[22:11:52] Her: eww
[22:11:57] Me: or banana, take your pick
[22:12:06] Me: the phallic angle is just an added bonus
[22:12:12] Her: unh huh
[22:12:24] Me: this is delicious, you have to admit
[22:12:35] Her: what's delicious?!
[22:12:51] Me: this whole conversation
[22:12:58] Her: how so?
[22:13:56] Me: just in general
[22:14:20] Her: hrm I have no desire to 'sample' different races of men
[22:14:25] Her: I don't discriminate
[22:14:27] Her: well I take that back
[22:14:33] Her: I'm not attracted to black men at all
[22:14:38] Her: just never have been
[22:14:49] Her: but as far as asian goes
[22:14:53] Her: it's the personality
[22:15:04] Me: lol, but _that's_ not a racist thing at all to say
[22:15:30] Me: but just for discussion's sake, what is it about the personality?
[22:15:48] Her: no no.. not that asians have distinctive personalities
[22:16:00] Her: if an asian guy has a great personality, i'm attracted to him the same i would be to a white guy
[22:16:17] Her: has nothing to do with "ooh.. an asian man"
[22:16:21] Me: hrm...that's not what you said, counsel
[22:16:25] Me: lol
[22:16:29] Her: yes it is sir
[22:16:40] Me: this dancer lately...did I tell you that story?
[22:16:50] Her: the dancer you're dating.. err.. sleeping with
[22:17:12] Me: came up to me, and in so many words said she wanted me cause she'd never been with an asian guy, and always wanted to
[22:17:29] Me: the asian thing has never paid off like that
[22:18:10] Her: heh see it's not like that for me
[22:18:48] Me: and OMG, black men are the most maligned, but conversely also the most fetishized, it's insane
[22:18:59] Me: so I guess it balances out
[22:20:30] Her: hrm yeh don't have a thing for black guys
[22:20:38] Her: same goes with blondes
[22:20:40] Her: with one exception
[22:20:48] Me: so you mentioned
[22:20:50] Her: dark haired guys who dye their hair platinum
[22:20:52] Me: oh yeah?
[22:20:55] Her: yeh
[22:20:57] Her: hrm
[22:21:07] Her: but natural blondes, or sandy blonde
[22:21:07] Her: ick
[22:21:19] Me: who's the one exception?
[22:21:26] Her: what exception?
[22:21:33] Her: do i have one?
[22:21:59] Me: ah, nm...missed a line
[22:22:03] Her: hrm
[22:22:06] Her: obviously
[22:22:07] Her: heh
[22:22:16] Me: hey, screw you :P
[22:22:19] Her: no
[22:22:20] Her: hrm
[22:22:23] Me: i'm entitled to miss a line here and there
[22:22:32] Her: yeh?
[22:22:36] Her: hrm
[22:23:00] Her: i wanna go to boston for a weekend
[22:23:13] Me: I'm going to charleston this weekend
[22:23:16] Her: eww
[22:23:17] Me: supposed to be pretty nice
[22:23:18] Her: too hot there
[22:23:22] Her: maybe in the winter
[22:23:29] Her: i know a girl in charleston
[22:23:34] Her: met her on a contiki tour
[22:23:37] Me: hello, it's the beach..i'ts supposed to be hot
[22:23:41] Her: was supposed to viisit but never did
[22:23:57] Me: ooh, is she hot?
[22:24:01] Her: no she's not
[22:24:06] Her: she's very nice
[22:24:08] Her: but not hot
[22:24:13] Me: ah, k
[22:24:28] Her: have you been to savannah
[22:24:32] Her: i want to go there, too
[22:24:35] Her: supposed to be very pretty
[22:25:01] Me: yeah, wanna
[22:25:05] Me: haven't
[22:25:10] Her: yeh
[22:25:11] Her: hrm
[22:25:18] Her: so yeh tell mike i never made it to memphis
[22:25:22] Her: or new orleans
[22:25:23] Her: shame there
[22:25:27] Her: i need to make that happen
[22:25:44] Me: ooh, we're going in nov and I need a date...wanna go?
[22:25:55] Her: i am NOT hanging out withyour swingers
[22:25:59] Me: weekend before thanksgiving I think
[22:26:02] Her: or i might say yes
[22:26:06] Me: lol, why not?
[22:26:11] Me: they're cool people
[22:26:14] Me: sheesh
[22:26:19] Her: provided they keep their clothes on
[22:26:29] Me: hrm
[22:26:35] Me: you drive a hard bargain :P
[22:27:06] Her: heh
[22:27:13] Her: white sox winning again! woohoo
[22:27:15] Her: oh
[22:27:15] Her: so
[22:27:18] Her: check this out
[22:27:20] Me: oh yeah?
[22:27:24] Her: [her younger younger sister] is living with [her hottie older (than the one just mentioned) younger sister] now
[22:27:29] Her: she's done with Purdue
[22:27:36] Her: she broke up wtih the red gold tomatoes guy
[22:27:44] Her: now she's dating her history teacher from high school
[22:27:52] Her: he's 31
[22:27:52] Her: she's 21
[22:27:57] Her: a fucking history teacher
[22:27:59] Me: slow down, I don't know any of this
[22:28:02] Me: tomatoes guy?
[22:28:06] Her: i'm not saying a damned thing because i think it's hilarious
[22:28:08] Me: history teacher?
[22:28:19] Her: yeh...[younger younger sis] was dating the heir to Red Gold tomatoes when she was in college
[22:28:20] Me: bah, 31/21 is nothing
[22:28:23] Her: i'm sure i told you that before
[22:28:28] Me: ah
[22:28:29] Me: nope
[22:28:30] Me: none of it
[22:28:38] Me: didn't even know she was at purdue
[22:28:48] Her: 31/21 is ridiculous as she's immature to an extreme and doesn't know a damned thing about herself or the world yet but thinks she does
[22:28:53] Her: that's a dangerous combination
[22:29:19] Me: bah, it's just fun
[22:29:23] Me: no one's getting married
[22:29:46] Her: hehe that's what you think
[22:29:48] Her: [younger younger sister] is an idiot
[22:30:02] Her: she's already talking about, "he understands me like no other.. he's so ambitious.. "
[22:30:06] Her: ugh
[22:30:18] Me: haha
[22:30:18] Her: he's a history teacher.. i'm gonna crack up if she marries this chooch or gets knocked up
[22:30:22] Her: no more nieman marcus for her
[22:30:30] Her: she's gonna be hanging at sears, jcpenney and kmart
[22:30:41] Me: that's true
[22:31:23] Her: but you can't say anything to her
[22:31:25] Her: so let her learn
[22:31:33] Her: big reality check incoming
[22:31:47] Her: sox won!
[22:31:50] Her: woohoo
[22:31:57] Me: heh, you're such a guy sometimes
[22:32:08] Her: you're such a girl sometimes so we're even, eh?
[22:32:41] Me: yes, that was EXACTLY what I was getting at :P
[22:33:06] Her: hrmmm
[22:33:34] Her: oh
[22:33:43] Her: i'm suing my landlord for my security deposit
[22:33:50] Her: have i told you this?
[22:33:53] Her: the sucker took some of it
[22:33:55] Me: last landlord?
[22:33:57] Her: yes
[22:34:00] Me: nope
[22:34:13] Her: if he doesn't refund the entire amount, i'm taking him to the cleaners
[22:34:53] Me: what was the rationale for retaining it?
[22:35:30] Her: uh "a thorough cleaning and excessive wear and tear to the carpeting"
[22:35:47] Her: i guess it sucks for him that we took pictures literally as we were leaving for the last time and they show that hte place was sparkling
[22:35:58] Me: nice
[22:36:14] Her: it also sucks for him that he chose to deduct money after the 30 day window within which he legally had the right ot do so
[22:36:48] Her: and it sucks for him that he commingled our security deposit with his own funds in his business account
[22:37:00] Her: as he wrote the check for the remainder of our deposit from his personal account
[22:37:14] Me: haha, that wouldn't seem to me to matter much
[22:37:17] Me: that last item
[22:37:21] Her: it's a huge issue
[22:37:26] Me: "comingled", nice
[22:37:34] Me: little miss legalese
[22:37:36] Her: a security deposit never becomes the property of hte landlord
[22:37:55] Her: it always remains the property of the tenant and must be kept in a federally insured, interest bearing account
[22:38:00] Me: but what the hell difference does it make where s/he/they keep it?
[22:38:09] Her: separate from a landlords personal and business assets
[22:38:18] Me: eh, if you say so
[22:38:22] Her: uh becuase if a landlord has debts with creditors
[22:38:29] Me: so how much did he keep? percentagewise?
[22:38:36] Her: they can go after his assets and wipe out a tenant's security deposit
[22:38:40] Me: no, I understand the rationale
[22:38:47] Her: if it's in a separate tenant trust account there's no such problem
[22:38:59] Me: i've just never really seen it in practice
[22:39:20] Her: ah well that's why you don't try fucking over a lawyer
[22:39:32] Her: which he did... trying to skim off our deposit
[22:39:36] Her: he withheld 400
[22:39:40] Her: which isn't a huge amount
[22:39:47] Her: but he shouldn't have withheld any
[22:39:57] Her: the filing fee is under 200 and i obviously don't have to pay for an atty
[22:40:03] Her: don't fuck with me.. he should have known that
[22:41:25] Me: lol
[22:41:31] Me: i'm so proud of you
[22:41:40] Me: I never knew you had this lever of vengefulness in you
[22:41:43] Me: girl after my own heart
[22:41:45] Her: heh
[22:41:47] Her: well
[22:41:56] Her: it's my mission to take down as many scumbags as possible
[22:42:09] Her: if he doesn't cough up my money.. he's going down for a good 7K
[22:42:12] Her: as he will have to hire an atty
[22:42:29] Me: 7K?! how did you come up with that figure?!
[22:42:31] Her: and the remedy is double your security deposit plus costs
[22:42:39] Her: my deposit was 2600
[22:43:08] Me: wow
[22:43:20] Her: yeh
[22:43:23] Her: fucking asshole
[22:43:31] Her: let him get his little firm atty too
[22:43:35] Her: i'll gun them down in court
[22:43:40] Me: lol
[22:43:45] Me: I would so love to see that
[22:43:45] Her: i haven't been doing trials and in a courtroom for two years for nothing
[22:43:48] Her: fucking pencil pushers
[22:43:50] Me: haha
[22:45:26] Her: hrmm
[22:45:35] Me: so what happened to tomatoboy?
[22:45:35] Her: have you watched nip/tuck yet?
[22:45:40] Her: eh she dumped him
[22:45:42] Me: not yet
[22:45:44] Her: he wanted her to stay in Indiana
[22:45:49] Her: she didn't want to
[22:45:52] Her: ugh Gene
[22:45:56] Her: nip tuck is so up your alley
[22:45:57] Her: it's sleazy
[22:45:59] Her: it's so you
[22:46:00] Me: lol
[22:46:01] Her: you have to watch it
[22:46:04] Her: sheesh
[22:46:07] Me: i will, I will
[22:46:09] Her: hot women
[22:46:10] Her: hot men
[22:46:11] Her: miami
[22:46:14] Her: what more do you need?
[22:46:18] Her: raunchy sex
[22:46:18] Me: haven't been able to find the complete first seasons to download
[22:46:20] Her: it's you
[22:46:36] Me: i'm flattered that you think of me when you think of hot men and women
[22:46:47] Me: and raunchy sex
[22:46:52] Her: hahahah
[22:47:01] Her: very well written
[22:47:09] Me: i'm not blogging today, I'm posting this conversation
[22:47:14] Her: hahahahah
[22:47:26] Her: lovely .. i'll be a blog celebrity
[22:47:28] Me: well, parts of it
[22:47:39] Me: and naturally, your name will be changed
[22:48:29] Her: ahhh protecting my identity.. so sweet
[22:48:29] Me: babe, you already are ;)
[22:50:40] Her: hrmm.. coupling is good, too
[22:50:47] Her: it's a british sitcom
[22:51:13] Me: I've heard that, actually
[22:53:34] Me: i'm watching oceans twelve, ever seen it?
[22:53:55] Her: yes
[22:54:01] Her: i watched it being filmed up here
[22:54:08] Her: i was nearly an extra in it ;p
[22:54:15] Me: ooh
[22:54:19] Me: look at you ;)
[22:54:21] Her: jen and i snuck on the set and they thought we belonged and touched up our makeup
[22:54:22] Her: heh
[22:54:25] Me: not bad so far
[22:54:28] Her: it was hilarious
[22:54:42] Me: chinese guy dating supermodel, good moral
[22:54:54] Me: i think it's funny how everyone just understands chinese in it
[22:55:40] Her: hrmmm
[22:56:32] Me: damn, CZJ is hot in this
[22:57:06] Her: she's one of my idols
[22:57:12] Her: angelina jolie and czj
[22:57:24] Her: if i woke up one morning in their bodies
[22:57:24] Me: yeah
[22:57:29] Her: i swear i'd just be walking around naked all day
[22:57:37] Her: i'd be arrested
[22:57:38] Her: heh
[22:57:39] Her: hahah
[22:57:53] Me: except CZJ is forever tainted for having touched michael douglas's old balls
[22:57:57] Her: true
[22:58:02] Her: so angelina jolie is the ultimate goddess
[22:58:07] Me: agreed
[22:58:14] Me: and I never knew you had a secret bi side
[22:58:17] Me: that's kinda hot
[22:58:19] Her: eh not bi
[22:58:22] Her: every woman is like that
[22:58:26] Me: haha
[22:58:27] Her: i don't want to have sex with them
[22:58:31] Her: but i can admire their beauty
[22:58:32] Me: you don't?
[22:58:35] Me: hrm
[22:58:39] Me: that's too bad
[22:58:48] Her: with women it's a catty, envy thing
[22:58:51] Her: not a sexual thing
[22:58:52] Her: heh
[22:58:58] Me: ah
[22:59:01] Her: hrmm
[22:59:09] Me: so you admit to being catty?
[22:59:16] Her: i certainly wouldn't be doing brad pitt if i was angie, though
[22:59:17] Her: yuck
[22:59:26] Me: haha
[22:59:32] Her: eh i can be catty..i think all women can to a certain extent
[22:59:36] Her: i'm not overly so
[22:59:48] Me: true
[23:01:07] Me: ok, not as hot with the long hair and bangs
[23:01:22] Her: who?
[23:01:40] Me: czj in the flashback scenes
[23:01:57] Her: ahhh
[23:02:02] Her: i think she looks better with long hair
[23:02:44] Me: generally, yes
[23:03:42] Me: but whatever you'd call this...bob cut or whatever that she has in "present day" is hot, damn...
[23:04:41] Her: hrm
[23:04:49] Her: i need to stop wearing these pointy shoes
[23:04:54] Her: my feet are KILLING
[23:04:58] Her: ill end up with those witchy feet
[23:05:13] Me: haha, OK
[23:05:19] Me: are they hot though? is it worth it?
[23:05:29] Me: hot shoes go a long way
[23:05:55] Her: i don't really wear "hot' shoes to work
[23:06:03] Her: not practical when i have to stand in court all morning
[23:06:22] Me: sure
[23:07:26] Me: we need to party, [Her name]
[23:08:23] Her: yeh i dunno about your style of partying, Mr. [my last name]
[23:08:27] Her: mmhmmm
[23:08:37] Her: Mr. FreakPot
[23:09:23] Me: freakpot?
[23:09:54] Her: yup
[23:09:55] Me: all I'm suggesting is that we get together, possibly have a few drinks, and chat
[23:10:01] Her: unh huh
[23:10:01] Me: where's the harm in that? That and we should be naked at the time.
[23:10:40] Her: no harm until you whip out the mask and cape and start banging random chicks left and right
[23:10:45] Her: ;p
[23:10:58] Me: LOL
[23:11:01] Me: mask and cape, huh?
[23:11:08] Me: you flatter/mock me
[23:11:26] Her: heh
[23:11:31] Her: it's a funny visual
[23:12:06] Me: hrm, we'll see just how funny by the comments the entry garners ;)
[23:12:52] Her: oh lovely, this makes the blog, also?
[23:13:31] Me: well, verbatim it's a big long in the tooth
[23:13:31] Her: hrmph
[23:13:41] Me: but that remark might make the cut
[23:13:43] Her: long in the tooth?
[23:14:10] Me: i think there are universally interesting statements here
[23:14:24] Her: yeh?
[23:14:25] Her: hrm
[23:14:26] Me: this whole conversation as a blog entry is a bit long and verbose to read, yeah
[23:14:34] Me: and not all of it has universal appeal
[23:14:40] Her: are you saying that my conversation requires extensive edits?
[23:15:18] Her: i'm addicted to Rachael Ray shows
[23:15:20] Her: have i told you this?
[23:15:33] Her: random and out of nowhere, i know
[23:15:49] Her: but i made this blockbuster homemade sangria and bbq the other day
[23:15:54] Her: courtesy of Ms. Ray
[23:15:54] Me: not for the audience of you and I, but for my readership, possibly
[23:15:57] Her: i doctored it a bit
[23:16:04] Me: lol, "blockbuster"
[23:16:05] Her: fabulous
[23:16:08] Her: yes, sir
[23:16:12] Me: I'm more an alton brown kinda guy myself
[23:16:18] Her: liberal amounts of fruit and alcohol
[23:16:19] Me: but I know of ms ray
[23:16:22] Her: i don't like alton
[23:16:26] Me: and she's kinda cute, but also kind of annoying
[23:16:27] Her: he annoys me
[23:16:30] Her: geek little turd
[23:16:34] Her: she can be a bit overly perky
[23:16:38] Her: but i like that she's down to earth
[23:16:39] Me: then I found out that she's like devout christian, so that kinda ruins it for me
[23:16:46] Her: and her recipes are easy to actually follow
[23:16:49] Her: wait
[23:16:51] Me: lol, geek little turd, nice
[23:16:52] Her: devout christian?
[23:16:56] Her: yucko
[23:16:58] Me: yeah, I think so
[23:17:02] Me: see?
[23:17:04] Me: I hate that
[23:17:13] Her: bah she's from new england
[23:17:16] Her: she has to be liberal
[23:17:17] Me: i really should research that more, but I think it's true
[23:17:28] Me: she was featured in guideposts magazine
[23:17:40] Me: LOL, that's not faulty logic
[23:17:52] Me: fron new england=liberal
[23:18:58] Her: well hey.. there's a very large liberal contingent there
[23:19:03] Her: with the exception of Maine
[23:19:17] Her: several people now have told me that it's like the kentucky of new england
[23:19:50] Me: haha, kentucky of new england, I love statements like that
[23:22:02] Her: so what kind of sleep schedule are we on these days Mr. [my last name]?
[23:22:03] Her: hrm?
[23:22:09] Her: what's the usual bedtime
[23:22:34] Me: eh, somewhat erratic
[23:22:40] Me: later on the weekends, obviously
[23:22:51] Me: during the week, just depends
[23:22:55] Me: 4am yesterday
[23:23:13] Me: if there's a blog entry, that's the best way to gauge, generally wihtint 30-60 minutes after blog posting
[23:24:33] Her: well 4am is better than 8am
[23:27:12] Me: yeah, 8am is really more saturday night/sunday morning
[23:28:36] Her: well weekends . that's acceptable
[23:28:48] Her: i love this fast connection
[23:28:52] Her: i can watch movie trailers now
[23:28:53] Her: heh
[23:29:02] Me: haha, you have broadband finally?
[23:29:08] Me: I can send you porn!
[23:29:16] Me: you can watch foamy
[23:29:21] Her: yes, sir i have a cable modem
[23:30:17] Me: do you steal cable TV service?
[23:30:56] Me: http://www.b18c5eg.com/illwillpress/
[23:31:04] Me: #39 dating advice
[23:31:20] Me: i've been trying to get you to watch that for like a year
[23:34:04] Her: no i'm not stealing cable because i don't know how ;)
[23:34:22] Me: just split it off and hook it up to your TV
[23:34:26] Me: voila
[23:34:30] Me: free cable
[23:37:23] Her: heh that was pretty good
[23:37:52] Me: when I first heard of those cartoons, I thought they were hilarious
[23:37:58] Me: but they've gotten lame over the years
[23:38:40] Me: but that one especially, message is good and the [her name] reference is a bonus
[23:39:37] Her: heh yeh well my name is not tattooed on my ass
[23:39:56] Me: no, but I often fanatasize that it is
[23:40:00] Me: haha
[23:40:05] Me: ok, not really
[23:40:41] Her: hrm
[23:41:21] Me: I also like #22, super mystery cult
[23:41:58] Me: ooh, #37, small, medium, large is a classic also
[23:43:17] Me: hrm, #22 is not as good as I remembered
[23:45:41] Her: i'll have to watch more later
[23:45:43] Her: ok [my last name]
[23:45:43] Me: haha, 37 IS as funny as I remembered
[23:45:57] Me: [my last name] #1, damn you!
[23:46:01] Her: 37 was pretty good
[23:46:03] Her: hahah
[23:46:10] Her: i'm outta here
[23:46:19] Her: nitenite freakpot
[23:46:21] Me: k, lates
[23:46:35] *** "Her" signed off at Tue Jun 21 23:46:34 2005.
Session Close (Hf2 ø³J ): Tue Jun 21 23:48:46 2005
posted by Gene at 4:25 AM
4 Comments:
lol i have to admit i'm not attracted to blacks, hairy guys, and se asians.
ro:
"se" asians? Semantically enthusiastic? Sexually experienced? Superficially exhibitionistic? Semi-educated? Smelly ejaculate? Or perhaps Southeastern? Gotta be a tiny bit more specific babe, not all of us are as acronymically gifted as you are... ;)
life:
C'mon man, you gotta do better than that...any true Chicagoan knows about Steve Dahl, formerly of Steve and Gary, morning show/talk radio staples, and though it was a little before my time (I was about to turn seven), we are less than three weeks away from the 26th anniversary of the "Disco Demolition", which took place at the beloved old Comiskey Park (which I'd never been to, though I did get to watch the first winning game in the new Comiskey Park, which now has some bastardized name, I think it might be "US Cellular Field or some crap like that...WTF?!) on July 12, 1979...and yeah, I did have to look up when it was, as I'd always heard about it, but didn't know much about it other than it had taken place, and the guy is still talking about it, 26 years later. This link I found says it was actually center field that was scorched, and there's a documentary being planned about it. What passes for entertainment...
Hrm..."an historian"...not bad for a boy (bois?) from Arkansas... ;)
southeast
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