Alarmist propaganda...
Cribbed from someone on my myspace friends' list:
[X] Are you actually Asian in the first place?
[ ] Were you born in an Asian country?
[ ] Do YoU tYpE lIkE tHiS aLoT?
[ ] Do you eat rice almost every single day?
[X] Can you use chopsticks?
[X] Have you attended Chinese/Korean/etc school as a kid?
[X] Can you speak an Asian language?
[X] Do you spike(guys)/highlight(girls) your hair?
[ ] Do you have an "azn crew"?
[ ] Do/Did you get at least a 3.0 gpa?
Total: 5
[X] Do you like kimchi
[X] Have you ever designed a website?
[ ] Do you know the song "got rice?"
[X] Have you dated Asian girls/boys?
[ ] Do your sns/email have the words: AzN, gurl, boy, sweet, cute, hot, dragon, baby, angel, lil, princess, etc?
[X] Is your last name Lee, Nguyen, Pham, Trinh, Houng, Chang, Jung, Chung, Liu, Wang, Wong, Kim, Lim or Choi?
[X] Do you take off your shoes before entering someone's house?
[X] You have both an Asian and an English name?
[X] Do/Have you watch(ed) anime?
[X] Do you listen to techno?
Total: 8
[X] Do/Have you obsessed/infatuated over an Asian celebrity?
[ ] Do you listen to Asian pop music?
[X] Have you watched asian movies?
[ ] Do you have uncanny math abilities?
[X] Do you drink pearl milk tea or bubble tea?
[X] Do/Have you play(ed) Online games like Counterstrike, Star/Warcraft, Diablo, Final Fantasy, etc?
[ ] are you a master at DDR?
[X] Do/Have you played the violin/piano/flute?
[X] Do your parents beat you if you get bad grades?
[X] Do you/your parents drive an Asian made car?
[ ] Do people call you by another Asian person's name?
[X] When dining out, do your parents fight with other people to pay the check?
Total: 8
[ ] Are you a very good artist?
[ ] Do you speak ur azn language w/ your friends?
[X] Do/Have you or your relatives own(ed) an Asian restaurant/market?
[X] Do you slurp soup?
[X] Have you visited your home country at least twice?
[X] Does your home smell like incense?
[X] Do you have/had glasses or braces?
[X] Do you like to read?
[X] Do/Did you NOT have an allowance?
[ ] Do you mostly eat at Asian resturaunts?
[X] Do you speak your native language at home?
Total: 8
[X] Have you eaten dim sum/dumplings before?
[ ] Are your parents fobs and barely speak english?
[X] Do you have tons of cousins/siblings/uncles/aunts/etc
[X] Can you twirl a pencil between your fingers?
[ ] Have you ever solved a rubik's cube?
[ ] Do/Have you read manga?
[ ] Is the mall your hang out place?
[ ] Do you think you are short?
[X] Do you/your parents save ketchup packets/napkins/etc from restaurants for "later use"?
[ ] Do you have ASIAN PRIDE?!
Total: 4
Add totals and multiply by 2 to calculate your Asian quotient.
5 + 8 + 8 + 8 + 4 = 33
33 x 2 = 66
Gene is apparently, by some inexplicable universal force, deemed 66% Asian.
Now granted, this is a very flawed metric by which to measure one's Asian quotient, but by this little gauge, I've somehow scored high enough to be 2/3rds Asian, and only 33%, or one third creamy white filling. Anyone who knows me knows that this is simply not possible. It's interesting to note, however, that the maximum possible score on this exercise is 53, or 106%. now my pitiful math skills notwithstanding, that's more Asian than anyone I know or have met.
Ah well, time for bed.
[X] Are you actually Asian in the first place?
[ ] Were you born in an Asian country?
[ ] Do YoU tYpE lIkE tHiS aLoT?
[ ] Do you eat rice almost every single day?
[X] Can you use chopsticks?
[X] Have you attended Chinese/Korean/etc school as a kid?
[X] Can you speak an Asian language?
[X] Do you spike(guys)/highlight(girls) your hair?
[ ] Do you have an "azn crew"?
[ ] Do/Did you get at least a 3.0 gpa?
Total: 5
[X] Do you like kimchi
[X] Have you ever designed a website?
[ ] Do you know the song "got rice?"
[X] Have you dated Asian girls/boys?
[ ] Do your sns/email have the words: AzN, gurl, boy, sweet, cute, hot, dragon, baby, angel, lil, princess, etc?
[X] Is your last name Lee, Nguyen, Pham, Trinh, Houng, Chang, Jung, Chung, Liu, Wang, Wong, Kim, Lim or Choi?
[X] Do you take off your shoes before entering someone's house?
[X] You have both an Asian and an English name?
[X] Do/Have you watch(ed) anime?
[X] Do you listen to techno?
Total: 8
[X] Do/Have you obsessed/infatuated over an Asian celebrity?
[ ] Do you listen to Asian pop music?
[X] Have you watched asian movies?
[ ] Do you have uncanny math abilities?
[X] Do you drink pearl milk tea or bubble tea?
[X] Do/Have you play(ed) Online games like Counterstrike, Star/Warcraft, Diablo, Final Fantasy, etc?
[ ] are you a master at DDR?
[X] Do/Have you played the violin/piano/flute?
[X] Do your parents beat you if you get bad grades?
[X] Do you/your parents drive an Asian made car?
[ ] Do people call you by another Asian person's name?
[X] When dining out, do your parents fight with other people to pay the check?
Total: 8
[ ] Are you a very good artist?
[ ] Do you speak ur azn language w/ your friends?
[X] Do/Have you or your relatives own(ed) an Asian restaurant/market?
[X] Do you slurp soup?
[X] Have you visited your home country at least twice?
[X] Does your home smell like incense?
[X] Do you have/had glasses or braces?
[X] Do you like to read?
[X] Do/Did you NOT have an allowance?
[ ] Do you mostly eat at Asian resturaunts?
[X] Do you speak your native language at home?
Total: 8
[X] Have you eaten dim sum/dumplings before?
[ ] Are your parents fobs and barely speak english?
[X] Do you have tons of cousins/siblings/uncles/aunts/etc
[X] Can you twirl a pencil between your fingers?
[ ] Have you ever solved a rubik's cube?
[ ] Do/Have you read manga?
[ ] Is the mall your hang out place?
[ ] Do you think you are short?
[X] Do you/your parents save ketchup packets/napkins/etc from restaurants for "later use"?
[ ] Do you have ASIAN PRIDE?!
Total: 4
Add totals and multiply by 2 to calculate your Asian quotient.
5 + 8 + 8 + 8 + 4 = 33
33 x 2 = 66
Gene is apparently, by some inexplicable universal force, deemed 66% Asian.
Now granted, this is a very flawed metric by which to measure one's Asian quotient, but by this little gauge, I've somehow scored high enough to be 2/3rds Asian, and only 33%, or one third creamy white filling. Anyone who knows me knows that this is simply not possible. It's interesting to note, however, that the maximum possible score on this exercise is 53, or 106%. now my pitiful math skills notwithstanding, that's more Asian than anyone I know or have met.
Ah well, time for bed.

0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home