Toasting the opposite sex...

Goddamnit, I've been beaten to the headline punch again! Why didn't I think of "Valentine's Day Massacre"for yesterday's headline?! Crap! It's perfect! Oh well...

Watched some home video over the weekend that featured a couple interesting toasts. By way of odd coincidences, I'm a closet Willa Ford fan, and one of the songs I've just heard by her today has the following toast, which is easily adapted to go either way (I won't spell it out for you here, but the more mentally nimble among you should be able to work out the how-to):

"Here's to the men we love, here's to the men who love us, here's to the men we love who don't love us...fuck the men, let's drink to us."

Well, it's not going to inspire any new religions, but I thought it was mildly amusing.

Was up by 10am to take a call this morning, got to chat about some things, people and things and people, with a dear friend whom I'm learning to appreciate more and more every day. The discovery part of any relationship can be highly enjoyable, especially when there are shared elements, be they experiences, thoughts, opinions, perspectives, and/or outlooks, and nonconventional/nonstandard relationships, in my opinion, only free us to explore the myriad possibilities with even fewer constraints and restrictions than society is typically tolerant of.

Mike's settling into his apartment, but I still question the soundness of renting a place in the building where you work. In my case, I'd definitely be tempted to work myself to death, but at least the commute's dreamy. 30 seconds on an elevator to get to work? How can you argue with that? (Although the very real possibility that you'll be made into the de facto office bitch is a large downside: [ring] Hey Mikey, I think I left my porn screensaver on, can you be a bud and run upstairs and shut it off before the boss comes in in the morning? thanks bro!") I've always tried to live near my place of employ (when I am a contributing member of society), and have gotten very accustomed to not having to endure long commutes, despite only having lived in fairly major metropolitan areas all my life. I've done this as a concession to my quasi- pseudo- workaholic mentality. Now I know what some of you are thinking, surely this word does not mean what he thinks it means, as he's the laziest bastard I/we know! But it appears that I go through these stages of long-term laziness, and invariably, the people I meet during these highly sedentary periods are shocked to no end when I go back to work for 60-80 hours a week, despite sometimes only being paid for 40. Conversely, the people I work with, are appalled at how quickly I devolve into the total bed potato who can't be bothered to go downstairs and pick up the mail every several days.

Chatted briefly with ATL Ames, she seems to be doing well, perfect score on a recent test, gets her wings on Friday...sent me a photo in-garb with one of her cute blonde classmates...I asked for, and am holding out for ones of her naked with just said wings...she countered by telling me of risque shots with neckerchief and white button-up shirt only, but with the caveat that I'd never see them. Women ARE evil!

Laura e-mailed and texted me in the last couple days, I SO need to call her sometime soon! I'm so bad about communication...You'd even think that with the hours I keep, that calling London would be a piece of cake, as I'm probably more synchronized with their "normal" schedule than any of the time zones in THIS country...sorry Laura!

A moment of silence, please, as it appears my dear Elisabeth Röhm has departed the cast of Law & Order. [sigh] Although on the other hand, I haven't watched much of the show lately, but think Dennis Farina is a good addition...his trademark gangster caricature roles in movies like Snatch, Big Trouble, and Get Shorty, just crack me up...couldn't really see him as a serious cop, but he pulls it off admirably.

It's funny how packaging makes all the difference in marketing a product. Just saw some Jennifer Lopez video (I suspect it might be that same song that I criticized here not too long ago, featuring her as the bad drag queen, among like 15 other characters), repackaged with a new "remix" version. This one's infinitely more aesthetically pleasing (they've eliminated the whole "club" theme and all but two or so of her confusing and pointless wardrobe changes and the dreaded drag queen look,) and as a result, I can now just barely bear to have it on just for eye candy's sake...and I wouldn't even consider myself a fan. Normally I don't see what all the hype is about...she's attractive, to be sure, but by celebrity standards? There are plenty who are hotter than she is. Of course, it could just be that the remixed version really is better than the original version, but I suspect the improved T&A factor is the underlying cause.

By way of proof of the above concept, a Three Doors down video comes on a bit later, and while I'm fairly ambivalent about these guys, I've never paid them much heed. So I'm fast-forwarding through the video, until I see the warm and comforting environs of a topless bar flash (no pun) by. Hrm...[rewind] Anyway, after having tried and completely failing to decipher the "storyline" and divine the "message", I'm none the wiser for having watched it. But the chick was kinda hot, and I don't hate the song, possibly as a result. OK, maybe I do now, since they played it AGAIN in less than 30 minutes. WTF?! And there's far too much overlap between MTV and VH1 playlists, while I'm bitching.

The moral of the story? It's been far too long since I've been in a strip club, and I need to rectify that. Soon.

Had a wonderful conversation with one of the Js tonight, we have the most deliciously eclectic conversations, only far too infrequently, and of completely inadequate durations. I need to kidnap this girl for about a week or so and pick her brain, I've yet to determine whether it draws me more than the deadly combination of her stunning appearance and completely delectable body.

D's blog today talks about racism (which seems to be popular of late) and her thoughts on that topic...I felt compelled to make an effort to comment, as her entries generally don't allow for the input of us humble readers. Here's what I wrote on the matter, if anyone has any inkling of what the hell I might mean, please feel free to weigh in with your observations. Pity she's not more comfortable advertising/making public her page, as she's painfully intelligent and has some brilliant insights on the human condition, having lived a very colorful and vividly experiential life that belies her tender age. (That's a story for another day; I have yet to learn the depth and breadth of it all myself, but I'm endlessly fascinated by her tales.) While I have yet to determine exactly which half of her is Portuguese, I've only just begun to explore, and don't have any plans to become less thorough...


Finally! The monkeys get a voice!

[flings poo]

Now, where was I? Ah yes, ethnocentric idiosyncracies...

My take on it is that everyone is inherently racist, and it's just a matter of how much and how well we hide it. While I'm at it, we're also (quite selectively) biased against everything we claim not to be: sex, creed (what the hell is a creed, anyway?), personal tastes and preferences, politics, religion, et al...you get the point. It's impossible not to be. Human nature exists to categorize and pigeonhole, and race is but one item on the vast steamtable upon which we feast and feed our inner hateful gluttons. We seek to polarize, to unify, to obfuscate, clarify, persuade, dissuade, incite, endear, bore and excite others around us, and depending on what one is selling, one uses people's inherent biases for or against any random thing to hopefully shape their thoughts, behaviours, tastes, and/or actions.

Hrm, OK...I just completely lost track of where I was going with that...but it certainly was grandiose and flowery, non?

Certainly, you and anyone who's been around me more than a couple times has heard my diatribe on the inequalities of the damn-near-universal Asian woman fetish and the disturbingly correspondent lack of anything resembling a specific, let alone universal fetish, or even a discernible preference for Asian men. Alas, such is the burden we bear...

So to answer your question, yes, you're racist. But far less so than most, you're mind-bogglingly sexy, and you do it in such a way that I benefit, so keep on doing what you're doing, it works for me. And in the end, isn't that really all that matters?

Actually, don't answer that...but here's to hoping you keep the comments section open for business...some of us don't have anything more pressing to do than to lazily stalk you via this page, and need a way to leave the occasional hpahazard thumbprint that we secretly hope will be discovered by the object of our attentions.


It seems that blogspot has no provision for people who leave comments to edit their remarks, but only to delete them, and then it still counts the comment and leaves the timestamp and byline in place, but adds the text "This post has been removed by the author." Since I noticed a couple typos after posting, I figured I'd just delete it, fix the typos and repost it, and no one would be the wiser. Instead, I've horribly disfigured that page, and can't ever fix it. Here's what I appended to the comments page:


Damnation...

I really didn't mean to make it look like I wrote something, thought the better of it then deleted the comment, I was really just trying to fix typos that I made in the first posting. You'd think they'd have some way you could do that without coming across like a moron.

And I fucked up "haphazard" toward the end there, too, totally missed that on the reread...crap...

I'm sure there are typos here too, but I just have to learn to let it go...I refuse to have people come on and see "923 comments" only to find 922 deletions and one remark.

Here's to the inner OCD freak in all of us...


Just to give y'all an idea of how bad it was, for the first couple weeks of this endeavour, as soon as I posted a new entry, I'd compulsively read it, followed by every entry that went before it, in their entirety, just because I couldn't stand the idea that something with my name attached to it had glaring mistakes for all to see. I don't do it any more, as the length of some of these entries has made that little indulgence time-prohibitive. But knowing that that very first entry got read about 18 times (and probably still has typos in it), while these recent entries are just as likely not to even get one post-posting review is hacking away at my last nerve too. And with their length and my ever-declining typing skills, believe you me, it's not a matter of if, but how many are out there.

Wonder if the local asylum takes reservations...