Cabin fever is a dangerous thing...

Saturday turned out to be a near-complete bust. Crazy-ass Southerners don't have the foggiest idea how to deal with old man winter. Nor his candy-ass half brother, minor cold front. Barely even an inch of snow and a little freezing rain and the whole town is damn near closed. 13-car pileups on the expressway (apparently that's a yank term, no one here seems to know what that is), empty grocery store shelves, and closed businesses abound. Attempting to call out of work in these kinds of situations up North would get you laughed right out of said job. However, as it's been pointed out to me by so many of my good friends of late, it's all in the treatment (or lack thereof) of the snow/ice. If you don't do jack, the melting snow is allowed to refreeze, thus making everything inherently more dangerous. The plus side is more snow days. The cons are pretty much the same number of snow days if you're unemployed. Wonder what Odd Todd has to say about this? Never mind, doubt he's got to deal with frozen anything.

As a result, no one wants to venture out (nor should they, for the aforementioned reasons), and everywhere anyone would want to go is closed. So I end up at home, doing nothing but burning time on anything but what I should be doing (oh, say back taxes perhaps?)

So I'm all stir crazy at home on a Saturday night when I should be out partying like a rock star, doing damn near anything but what I should be doing, (say, the aforementioned taxes) Ended up on IM with Jenny the better part of the night/Sunday morning for no less than nine hours. Really feel a connection with this girl, she seems to be truly open minded (in a time where so many claim to be, but so few actually are (or even really know what it means)), just need to wrangle more "quality time" to see where things go.

Sunday afternoon plans consist of heading over to Skip & Lin's, have a small gathering there to chit chat and watch movies. We end up deciding on Harold & Kumar since Rusty and Ria haven't seen it yet, then follow it up with Sideways. Funny how parallel the two films are, with the whole wine snobbery thing substituting for the weed, and drunken rants substituting for dick and fart jokes. It's true that there's nothing new under the sun...H&K is still much better though, the Sideways ending sucked.

Bleh. I had a bunch more I wanted to write, but after sitting here for more than a few minutes, I think a nap is in order...

Alcohol as a social lubricant...

This Friday was supposed to be an easy, relaxing, rest-up-for-the-weekend kind of day. All went to plan for the better part of the evening, sat around IMing with various friends, watched some TV, took a few calls, one of which was from Jenny, my new hottie Asian Friendster friend. My e-mail reply to her initial contact indicated that I'd love to show her around in whatever limited capacity my new-to-Charlotte ass was capable, but since she was only in town for a short while, time was of the essence in our meeting and getting to know one another. To that end, I left her with various means of getting in touch with me: IM, e-mail, mobile number. So she calls, we chat, and as it turns out, she's really cool. Very relaxed attitude, hip, pretty, basically your archetypal California girl. Some time later, I get another call, and we have another very nice conversation. We agree that we seem to be hitting it off, and that a meeting is in order. They're out drinking and carousing tonight, (with karaoke being bandied about as the next weapon of choice...) so we'll make plans to do so pretty soon. I decide to try and stay up a bit so as to persuade my body to sleep late tomorrow, all in the hopes of making Saturday night that much more seamless. Then I get a 3am (possibly drunk-dialed) call. Jenny's bored at karaoke, and how would I like to meet up with them? Hrm...this would certainly seem to be an instance where one should strike while the iron is hot, and hell, I'm not doing anything that won't keep. I get in the car with only the vaguest notion of where I'm going (University area) and head on down the road. They direct me via phone to the rendezvous point, and lo and behold, here's Jen, even cuter in the flesh than in her Friendster photos! Score! She hops in the car with me, and we proceed to get to know one another on our way to Denny's in the little Asian caravan. She seems a little buzzed, just enough to overcome her alleged shyness around new people, and I'm definitely finding myself attracted to her. Chat some more, arrive at Denny's, meet the gang (consisting of cousins and husbands/wives/signifigant others. Dine on a light breakfast, work on schmoozing the group, say our goodbyes, make plans for more private time. Arrive home at 6:10 to an e-mail from her, I'll have to try and reach her tomorrow to make plans. Wonder how much prep she'd need to bring her to the club and introduce her to the group? Hrm...guess time will tell on that one...

Developments as they occur...

This is just too strange...

One of my favorite Seinfeld quotes is "There are no big coincidences or little coincidences, they're all just coincidences! That's why they call them coincidences!" I probably screwed that up, but eh, you get the point.

So I haven't been on Friendster in AGES. I went through a whole phase where I thought it was just the coolest thing known to mankind (and truth be known, I still think it's pretty cool, if only they could get more people (like EVERYONE) onboard, it's an amazing and wonderous thing...one could burn through days and weeks looking people up, and it really gives you a sense for the whole "Small world" thingie. Guess I just got kinda bored with it for a while.)

Today, the second (in less than a week!) twentysomething hot asian chick from California visiting Charlotte e-mails me indicating that we have the same taste in music, only this one's still here in town, completely bored, sounds like she will be for a couple more weeks, and wants to hang out and check out the "clubs" here in town. How bizarre is that? Normally I'm not especially into asian girls (with the few exceptions that prove the rule, naturally, you guys know who you are, love ya! muah!), ;) but this one is cute! Her Friendster profile says that she's "open minded", but just how much? I happen to have plans to go to a certain club tomorrow, but one wonders if that's her speed...the mind boggles...

I've e-mailed her back , all that remains is to just sit back and let the story unfold. Might have to call Skip for deal-closing pointers...

Life is wonderous and amazing, is it not? ...and oh yeah, it probably helps to be a lucky-ass bastard too...may fate shine upon y'all as it has me...developments as they occur...

Warning: diatribe ahead...

Mary! D00d! How's the hottie queen of the dild0?! And her little negro? Thanks for checking in and commenting, hope you come back to read more of this crap ;) Call/drop me a line sometime, we need to make out. Uh, I mean catch up...

Well, it looks as though I've got one more thing to add to the list of the many things I've been wrong about in my life: Asian men ARE apparently fetishized, but wouldn't you know it, heavens to betsy, and just my luck, it's apparently only by a small (I'd guess anyway, my rationale follows) faction of gay men. A guilty pleasure of mine is to occasionally browse the clearance page of an online sex paraphernalia vendor I used to patronize, blowfish, which has since been supplanted by JT's Stockroom, for myriad reasons: they feature all kinds of pretty black/latex/rubber/PVC/chrome bondage gear, better prices, a slicker paper catalog, and hot ass product illustrations with gorgeous models. (Who wouldn't want to buy something off (be warned, while they're tasteful and super arty, none of these next links are remotely or in any way, work-safe) Masuimi Max's (mmm), Kyla Cole's (drool), or Aria Giovanni's (yum) asses?!) Just for fun, and before I get too off-topic, here are some more fun sites: the artsy Stockroom Gallery, Masuimi, Kyla, and Aria. All of the last three are hawking paid memberships, but Masuimi's has the slickest design and gets the nod for best one of the three. OK, got a little carried away with the porn, but hey, we'll call it your parting gift for the weekend...now back to the point I was trying to make:

The clearance page is kind of like a program guide to what DOESN'T sell at a sex emporium, and I'm calling it anecdotal research in the event I ever go into that field. So the first item on the page is Best Gay Asian Erotica, which, on the cover, depicts this generally unassuming, possibly soft-spoken and presumably subservient, but good-at-math naked Asian guy. Then I notice that it's written by an Asian guy, hrm. And then I notice it's an anthology of stories, not even a picture book. WTF? So what makes the goddamned stories Asian?! Throw in some fronds of bamboo here and there? "He looked sexily at me with his chinky eyes before stroking his miniscule penis, as I breathed in the faint aroma of sesame oil"? Peppering the word "Asian" throughout the text? Cripes, shame on you, Joel B. Tan, for selling us out. And is there really a preponderance of Asian erotica floating around out there? So much so to justify (or even support) a "best of" anthology?! Weird. Hell, beyond weird. Basically the upshot of the story is that over the years, I've made this huge production about how American mainstream porn has yet to properly (or at all, even) represent the Asian male demographic, (hrm, do I smell 3000-word article?) although I'm sure we're out there, more than consuming our share of the product. So I've always half-jokingly threatened to move to LA to become the first Asian male porn star in the US mainstream porn industry. Now, in addition to that already unwieldy statement, I have to add the qualifier "non-gay" into the string of adjectives. Great. My only consolation is that for their review copy to have made it's way onto the clearance page, that means that either this very gay-friendly establishment has completely misjudged their clientele, and there are legions of gay men wanting to purchase this book, writing letters to the buying department asking why they're not carrying it, or there just isn't much demand for it, thus somewhat proving my theory to begin with.

After all the porn buildup, the story seems kind of anticlimactic, eh? Well, at least I've used up my quota of the word "Asian" for the month...lucky it's almost February.

Was chatting with Deb when the subject of Spy vs. Spy, that old cartoon from Mad magazine way back when, came up. I mentioned that Mountain Dew had done up what I thought were a series of commercials, but as it turns out is only two...the first one says "to be continued..." at the end, but the second one doesn't. I used to LOVE these cartoons as a kid, and thought the live action commercials were great. So as promised, Deb, here's the link. (requires RealPlayer or Windows Media Player) First two are the Spy vs. Spy ones, love 'em. Then the funny snowboard champ pick-up lines one, "Lawn", which is only very slightly clever, "Seagal", which is absolutely hilarious, (I used to think he was a punk-ass primadonna due to things I've randomly heard about him, who knows if they're even true or not, but he gains huge points for agreeing to do this self-depreciating commercial, I DIED the first time I saw it, as there are a lot of Steven Seagal fans out there, to this day, go figure), and "Sled", which is a good idea and visually well executed, but really not funny or redeeming in any way.




How is it that women are such wonderful, joyous, and utterly amazing creatures, but yet secretly have gooey centers of creamy nougat and pure evil?

I've spent the evening in the company of one of my favorite people in the whole world, had the most delightful phone conversation with another one of my favorite people in the whole world, it's a glorious day (night/morning), and really, what could be more right with the world? Here are some things that I've learned and/or had reinforced from these two, some tonight, some on a broader timeline...interacting with both of them in the same day has just prompted me to think how fortunate we men are to be graced with the fairer sex:

-There's definitely something to be said for electric chemistry between two people
-Smart girls are SO hot
-Girls you laugh with are keepers
-There's a priceless value in an ability to be oneself (one's self?) around others
-Jealousy (while not without it's ego-stroking side effects,) is a wasted and largely useless emotion
-People like to be complimented, no matter how transparent, lame, insincere, sappy, unbelievable, or out-and-out false the statement(s) may be or sound
-Kissing is highly enjoyable
-Kissing someone who knows what they're doing is divine
-"Kissing" and "Having (oral or other) sex (with)" are sometimes, like say in the last two line items, interchangeable
-Everyone has someone that's right for them out there, even if we don't settle for less than perfection or our ideals...many someones, even...maybe dozens, scores, hundreds...who's to say? There are billions of people out there, it's as certain as life off this rock...the sheer magnitude of the numbers encompasses and ensures certainty. (Does that make sense? Either way, I digress.)
-Temporary paralysis and/or loss of vision right after *ahem* strenuous activity is no cause for inital alarm
-People inherently need other people, and basic human interaction: touching, seeing, imagining, smelling, hearing, feeling, etc...
-Tonight, I don't happen to think that they ALL have the evil center, but from previous experience, I know it's there...they just try to distract you from it's existence when they like you and/or your oral skills ;)


Sorry about waxing philosophic...I'm in love. ;) How lame is that? (To be fair, there are healthy doses of lust thrown in there for good measure, too...and/or some of the love might be platonic love...and/or displaced love of all mankind...and/or love of the party lifestyle...and/or brotherly/sisterly/familial love...)

Bisous... (Salut to the masculine readers...)

Welcome to the third world...

So I awake to no water in the house, forgot that someone had mentioned a leaking main and the 9am shutoff this morning...lovely...can't wash my face or brush my teeth, wonder how long this will last? Couldn't do dishes, couldn't wash my hands after dining on hot wings, now I have to remember to not rub my eyes...this sounds like the setup for a bad masturbation joke. I do have a Brita full of clean water, but damned if it isn't nicely chilled...brr!

This is officially the third worst thing to have go out, right behind electricity and broadband.

Beware the Asian 'fro...

Not much happened today, up around 1pm, chatted with Amy for a bit, she "DOES NOT have a bi thing for Ashlee, good GOD" (I knew that'd get to her, heh.) Poor girl though, she's got to go back to work after taking a few sick days...that's always tough, but at least the rest of her short week will go easier.

Got a message from Deb that I might possibly be able to see her tomorrow (it's been far too long, as usual...but then again every other day might be far too long in between...) but I got no response from my return IMs, so guess I'll wait to hear tomorrow...

Rusty IMed me in honour of the absolutely glorious day, with an invite to go out for a ride. Outstanding! Why didn't I think of that?! Problem was that I'd just gotten up, and had far too many steps between where I was and being ready to go for a ride. Shower, dress, find the motorcycle plate I brought back from Chicago (what the hell did I do with it?), find my bike key (what the hell did I do with it?) head 20 minutes south, see if the bike would start after sitting for a couple months, find my helmet (required in NC, but not in SC, this is the first state I've lived in where there was a helmet requirement,) then head about 90 minutes north to meet up with Rusty...hrm...timing's going to be tight, but oh well, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. And my hair is super long, which makes the helmet all that much less appealing, it's a bitch and a half with the asian 'fro going.

I end up taking too long getting stuff together and we decide to try again next warm day, that gives me time to get the bike up closer to where it's a little more easily accessed. I end up deciding to take a ride down to Rock Hill anyway, need to swing by the farmers market down there, drop off some stuff, fuel the car, and bite the bullet and get my hair cut. I'm always conflicted about getting my hair cut down here; Asian hair is exceptionally coarse, so it's really bristly...my styling options are generally limited to spiking it in whatever shape it's cut to. Anne does a decent job with it, better than if I were to walk into a random place and say "hey, this is how I'd like for you to cut my wiry hair", (being that I'm not a stylist myself and don't know the lingo, and am thus unable to adequately convey what I mean and envision) but not as good as my regular Korean lady in Chicago (who speaks very very little English, and I speak absolutely no Korean, so that's an interesting project. However, she does an amazing job of giving me presentable hair, so I go there religiously.) Unfortunately, I haven't lived in Chicago for over two years, and I need to have my hair cut roughly once a month. As a concession to this quandary, I've taken on various surrogate stylists in the past two dozen or so months. In Hartford, I happened upon this blonde bombshell who I'm absolutely certain was at some point, a dancer. She also did an acceptable job once I got her down to the routine of how I wanted it, but then she disappeared on me. Fortunately, I moved here soon thereafter, and was introduced to Anne by my brother, who, as you might have guessed, has hair similar to mine, though he wears it differently. She does, as I said, a passable job, but seems to have this inability to follow my instructions. Every time I see her, I ask for the same thing, and she always neglects one or two things, usually until it's too late to fix it. So for those of you who will see me in the next couple of weeks, consider this your notice that my hair's been butchered, hence the ever-present hat. Guess any hair-pulling that may have been going on of late is at an end...sorry, hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, I'm generally loathe to let it get that long...I was about three weeks overdue this time.

Watched Meet the Parents, quite entertaining...Mr. DeNiro is quite a talented guy. Had many a good laugh, though in an entirely different way than Harold and Kumar.

It appears that the boys at MGM were collectively bad, as there's been a class-action lawsuit filed against them, apparently they marketed over 300 (325, to be exact) DVD titles as "widescreen", when in fact they were just pan-n-scan versions with the tops and bottoms cut off, leaving just a little tiny portion of the film for you to see. What the hell were they thinking?! In response to these allegations, they've totally caved and agreed to a settlement, as follows: if you've purchased any of these (requires Acrobat Reader) films, you're entitled to either a refund of $7.10 per title, or a free copy of that film in proper unadulterated widescreen, yay. To read more about it, visit your local library (where you'd probably just have to use their computer to load this page), or click here. That's a lot of movies, nice work fellas! Now I'll feel less guilty downloading any MGM films in the future.

Yikes, rambly and largely un-funny post today, I'm going to quit while I'm ahead and hope for better tomorrow.

Lessons from mainstream media...

Spent the better part of the day chatting with Atty Ames...she's home sick, so from the time I got up at noon until I absolutely had to get myself out of the house at 8pm to get over to Sam's Club before they closed (it's very sobering to wake up and have to rush yourself out of the house in time to close a store as your sole accomplishment for the day), then from 10ish to just after midnight, we chatted about yet more random topics, such as:

-How my entry from yesterday was entirely mistaken on why she now feels I'm an unsuitable travel partner, and that it doesn't extend from my promiscuity at all, but her utter disgust that I don't know my way around Memphis, after my one-week visit there last year turned into nearly a month...to which I allegedly replied that I "had no reason to explore or remember unless it has to do with females" (I don't think that was verbatim, but we'll let her slide on that one), and only then did she say "well that's great, you'd be a lovely travel partner."
-That she objects to my use of the phrase "newfound sluttiness" in yesterday's entry, because "since when is it newfound?", and that I "shouldn't mislead the masses", and she feels that she's fully aware of the extent of my sluttiness, but I think she's really not ("...you can't handle the truth!")
-TV shows we're hooked on (Nip/Tuck, Six Feet Under, Entourage, Huff, etc.)
-How I never knew she was a Swingers fan, and she probably shouldn't have told me as now I'm going to quote and/or reference it ad nauseam. She also "can totally see me as the dingbat in Swingers in Vegas losing his shirt." (which has in fact happened a couple times)
-Trip to Europe in May! (If I can tear myself away from weekend parties in CLT for that long) perhaps a tropical trip in February?
-That she secretly has a hot (in my opinion) bi thing for Ashlee Simpson (OK, we didn't really talk about this one, but I thought it after the fact)
-Tax theory (yeah, highly exciting)
-Retirement plans (both federally recognized 401(k), Keogh, pensions, etc. as well as Lottery-funded)
-How she doesn't read this blog regularly, damn her! And went so far as to lose the URL and had to ask me to provide it again.
-Hottie sister Melinda (She forbids me to go near her and it sickens her that I continue to date women younger than Mel)
-Our mutual desire to write, and the fact that we should really work on keeping one another motivated. To that end, we've decided to rough/first draft a 3000-word article by next week (ugh, what did I sign up for? what will I write about? Suggestions welcome here, please!) Does this count? Damn, it's only 1700 words...crap, this is going to suck...
-Tunica, MS and other "shitty gambling towns"
-Potential road trip destinations
-Our secret freakish enjoyment of the band Heart and hits such as "Magic Man", "Crazy on You" and "Barracuda"
-Attractiveness/talent of Vince Vaughn vs. Jon Favreau, Ron Livingston, John Cusack, and Hank Azaria
-How she's been "so good to me lately"
-How I seem to have a fetish for Colombian women of late
-How hot she sounded when I spoke to her drunk ass on new year's
-That she used to refer to all this Euro/Trance/Ambient music I listen to as "Faggy Pop", and how it's fortunate that she's got no desire to listen to it, as I only share my music with women I'm sleeping with (Clearly, my subtle humour in that entry was lost on her)
-Her hyper dog, Stuart
-Etymology of the word "mongoloid" and how I personally resent an ethnic descriptor having abnormal/derogatory implications, because if the Mongolians look like 'tards, then the rest of Asia isn't far behind...
-That she's surprised that I'm not a Howard Stern fan (in fact, I think he's a whiny little bitch, but I occasionally allow myself the indulgence of watching the E! cable program, but even that's maddening as they blur out all the nakedness, and it's late night cable, goddamnit, what am I paying for if not the T&A? Crikey.)

Well, she's out til Thursday, so perhaps tomorrow will be equally unproductive but chat-filled.


Have been thinking about experimenting with different condom brands/styles, to see if there's something out there I like that's better than what I'm using now. Might as well check on the advancements in technology, right? In conducting basic online research, I came across the following slightly disturbing review on Amazon (from someone going by the moniker of (appropriately enough,) "Scarychick"):

I found out the hard way these can't be used effectively more than once. In the past, to save money, I've had my men reuse each condom at least once. With latex, you can just empty it and press it in a heavy book (like a dictionary) for reuse on another night (or day, for you freakazoids!). Of course, you'll want to relubricate it, but ultimately it works out to be cheaper than always using a new condom. With these lamb-condoms, I found that they are nearly impossible to relubricate after they've dried out (and I've used the heaviest book in my home- a HUGE all-encompassing encyclopedia- to press it!). So in the end, the cost of these admittedly heavenly-feeling condoms just isn't justified

[shudder]

One wonders (just a little and with more cringing trepidation than anything else) what "the hard way" might entail in learning this little lesson. "At LEAST once"?! just in case that first time isn't wrong enough? I also thought that the altering the heaviness of the book was a very clever variable to attack as far as altering one's approach in order to overcome a specific problem and/or achieve differing results; clearly that's the cause of the dryness/toughness, and NOT THE BASIC PROPERTY OF THE MATERIAL, sheesh. Definitely remind me NEVER EVER to leaf through or consult or even touch any of her books...

Upon closer inspection, it appears that Amazon lets you display any given user's other product reviews, among other information (for example, it lists her name as Janice Dunning (sigh, I used to, up until just a few minutes ago, love that name...now it's forever tainted) and email address as spookierthanu@aol.com) and this woman apparently has lots of time on her hands, as there are twelve pages of product reviews. I'm a bit conflicted, as on one hand, she sounds articulate and doesn't really make many spelling/grammatical mistakes, but on the other hand, she also manages to sound like the most inane person on the planet...and that's a heavily contested title, believe you me...even based solely on my limited interactions with people. I'm half-tempted to begin a correspondence with her just to see what the deal is! But I'm afraid she'd make me re-use my condoms or try to use the clone-a-willy kit on me, or worse yet, re-wear her underwear (not me there, her) another review:

Many colors to choose from! I love thongs-- the less cloth, the smaller the stink-stains. These aren't the absolute best on the market, and sometimes Lord it seems I've tried 'em all. But I often am able to wear one of these for days at a time without washing them. Try my patented odor-test: hold the thong approximately one foot from your face, if you can't smell it then it's fine to wear.

She's a self-proclaimed middle-aged (red flag) whitest-of-the-white (red flag) devout (red flag) Christian (red flag) neo-feminist (red flag) big girl (smaller red flag), all of which might go a long way toward explaining her very narrow (but quite the opposite in her mind) world view. Rather than get into a long and possibly largely pointless diatribe here, I might just have to read ALL her reviews and use them in measured doses for later entries...it seems I've inadvertently stumbled onto a blog fodder gold mine! (Sorry gang, (and you know who you are) y'all will have to work harder to entertain, this chick has handily swept up first second and possibly third places...) Maybe we could have a weekly "nugget of knowledge/wisdom from Scarychick" segment or something...suggestions?

OK, so the entertainment agenda for the evening (aside from the aforementioned Janice) is the extremely highly-recommended Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, which, as it turns out, is perhaps the finest film ever made. (Possibly even supplanting "Swingers") Why, you ask? Read on to learn just a few reasons why:

-Main love interest is indeterminate ethnicity in the movie, but is actually a Colombian actress! Rowr!
-Chesty argyle hotties...that is, up until the battle scene...
-Cindy Kim and my own brush with asian zealotry attached to a mild hottie with a great rack (for an asian girl)...this is also a story for another entry...
-Liane and the "fuck my wife" bit...god, [drool!] What is it with blonde Swedish girls?! ouch! (She totally reminds me of Elisabeth Rohm from Law & Order) So hot! That is until Chris Meloni (can you believe this is Elliott Stabler from SVU?! (Definite Law & Order theme going on in this scene) This role is just what he needs to keep from being typecast as the brooding father/troubled cop rut he was falling into...now all we need is to get Mariska Hargitay topless...sorry, what was I talking about again?)
-Due credence to the power of the White Castle Slyder (I hate that spelling, but I think it's how the company spells it, bastards

-Chock full of drunk/high moments/quotes:

--Just becasue you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn
--Daddy is not coming on anything!
--She's kinda cute, let her touch your penis
--I can't believe you were gonna ditch for the Joy Luck Club, dude
--If you boys want me, you have to do me at the same time...come on, gimme a double stuff!
--Dude, if it's two holes, it might not be that bad!Shotgunanus!
--What's the deal with Neal Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?
--Did she touch your penis?
--Sure got a lot of baggage...
--Bitch! Learn how to make coffee, you fucking whore!
--Cockboy? Did you just call me cockboy?

And finally, the best reason this is the feel-good movie of the year? [drumroll]

-The moral of the story appears to be that the tremendously dorky, decidedly un-slick Asian guy gets the Colombian hottie! With little to no effort! Woohoo! I cried at the end, it was so beautiful. All movies should end like this. It's a wake-up call to Hollywood and the old guard. I'm going to watch it again before bed...goodnight...

Loaves and fishes, teachings of the bible...

Wait, no...I must be thinking of a different blog...damn this post-party haze!

Another long (but yet oh-so-short) weekend has come and gone, and again, here I find myself, Monday night, nary a blog fodder topic in mind. Lin's suggested a notebook, to be kept at the LKN resort, within which I and other revelers might jot down topics and ideas as they transpire, so as to ensure the completeness of the accounts contained herein...the rub, of course, is that it requires a great deal of trust in said revelers not to write ficticious events/topics over which the humble writer might (endlessly and fruitlessly) fret over remembering.

Started early this weekend, as my semi-local visit/drive plans were slightly miscommunicated, rendered unworkable, and other plans arranged...conversation and drinking, under the guise of movie-watching, followed by late-ish bedtime and much later rising. Saturday breakfast of Cracker Barrel take-out at 4:30pm, get a call that my date for the evening is homebound due to icy weather, took in Stepford Wives (which started out as a good premise (never saw the original) but despite Chris Walken's presence couldn't pull off a satisfying or even better-than-ridiculous ending) followed by a viewing of some Hawaiian Tropic pageant/special in High Definition glory (drool), naps for some(one, other than me, unfortunately), and a late start to the club. On the way, had an odd following/passing/passing/following exchange with a man (who could only be described as mountainous, he must have weighed 400 pounds if he weighed one, there literally looked to be no room for so much as a french fry between the dashboard, steering wheel, and the back of the driver's seat, which was roughly halfway back to the trunk area of the vehicle) and his two drunk/high (appearing, don't want to get sued) female companions in a pimpy mid-eighties Olds Toronado. They followed us for a while, passed us while staring us down, allowed us to pass while staring us down, followed again then disappeared. Tres bizarre. Once there, however, met up with old friends, as well as introductions to some new ones. Happy birthday, Pam! Spent a lot of time in the upstairs hall, watching people go by...I think I'm starting to see why it's such a popular hangout. Towards the end of the night, met Kayla, a striking Amazonian type, just prior to leaving...as increasingly seems to be the case, things were pretty much going fine initially, then Lin comes by and all of a sudden, the situation is miraculaously and unbeliveably improved (I have yet to figure out exactly how that works...more research is definitely called for in this area.)

Sunday recovery at the LKN, with a later start (are late starts the theme for the weekend?) due to some confusion as to the timing of a certain football game. Despite the stumble, had a good turnout, saw some "old" (three weeks) friends, some frequently seen/regular (three weeks) friends, and finally met the elusive and/or mysterious and or succulent (not my word, but I certainly concur) Lida, who was sadly both the last to arrive, and the first to depart, with nary a chance for me to exercise my limited and rather narrow charm. Pity. Throughout the evening, many, many deep and thought-provoking discoveries were made, none of which I remember, as it was well over 24 hours ago and I had no blog notebook to which to reefer...I mean refer (...yes, that was a good save, no one's the wiser, heh.) Many interesting stories, some about alleged dingleberries and poopy pomeranians, flaming self-propelled Porsches, penile implants, seemingly endlessly filled pipes, the composition of absinthe, travel skillet usage, and countless others were either made or told, and I can't remember any of it! Alas. Perhaps a screenplay (or screenplays) about the LKN lifestyle is (are) where my fortunes lie, waiting to be discovered, moulded and harvested for fun and profit...yes, I can see it now...but who will play me? Russel Wong perhaps? Too handsome. Andy Lau? Too athletic. Jet Li? Way too short. Far, far too bad-ass. Where are we going to find a mainstream tallish asian male lead?! Fortunately, there are only slightly more Asian male "stars" in the manstream than in porn (read: none...I've always threatened to move to LA to become the first asian male porn star in the western world, but my laziness precludes me, as it's a long-ass move, and I'd have a hard time getting back for the parties.) Similarly, who will the revelers want to play them? Is it even up to them, do they get a vote/suggestion, or should they start attempting to bribe me now for favorable celebrity selection? (My paypal account information if any of y'all are reading, is...) Ah forget it, it's already getting to be a project and a half...

The weekend officially ended at approximately 5pm, when I arrived home. Chatted over IM with Amy, Esquire about various sundry topics, like how my newfound sluttiness somehow makes me a less suitable travel partner, had chinese takeout (a rare occasion for me) from a highly-recommended local place, Taipei South, (which is kind of a funny name, as the "pei" in Taipei means North...do they cancel one another out, so that the name should then just be "Tai"? Would I be upset at the misappropriation of my middle name for a restaurant moniker? The mind boggles...) but it turns out they make a mean orange beef, yum...so I guess none of it matters. Also spoke with Boston Amy (coincidentally) over IM, she's loving flight attendant training, managed to get a suite all to herself, maybe I can scam an invite...

Actually chatted with Loh for a while, first time I've spoken to him this year, he started off a bit snippy, but warmed up a bit...I need to work on not doing the knee-jerk rage thing when he pulls the underappreciated downtrodden baby brother bit he's so good at. I guess overall we had a decent conversation though, stayed pertty civil the whole time, I asked him for some things, he asked me for some things, who knows, maybe we'll eventually get past all this silliness and be proper brothers again.

Really should try and make a couple calls and accomplish a few things this week, let's see how that goes...

Developments as they occur...

Everyone's a critic...

Bleh. Not much going on here of late, just lounging around the house thinking (only in the vaguest sense) of all the things I should be doing. Cable's been in and out for a couple days, and finally went completely out, just I was chatting up Boston Ames and a soon-to-be playmate, never fails that it quits at the absolute least opportune time! So I'm sitting on hold with Time Warner to bitch...I'm forced to write this offline, in fact. Speaking of cable, I've been running my wireless network unsecured, as a way to "give back" to the community. So if you know where I live, you're welcome to park outside my window and help yourself to some of my bandwidth. Consider it my way of settling up on my universal karmic account. Grr...took these monkeys 15 minutes to even pick up and acknowledge me. They're saying it's a signal problem, (60+dB, where it should be around 30-35dB...which doesn't make much sense to a lay person such as myself, why would the signal spike up like that all of a sudden?) and I need to have a tech come out...the good news is that it's an outside call and I don't have to be here, but the problem is that my friendly cable installer took the identification tags off the line so that i wouldn't get "accidentally" disconnected from my cable TV service, and the guy who eventually comes out will a) have a hell of a time figuring out which one's actually mine, and b) very possibly remove my misappropriated 99 channels. Guess we'll see what happens on Monday...better get another Cuban ready...

OK update...went outside and puttered around at the cable network interface...it looks like someone moved where my cable was hooked into the junction block...it also appears that I'm on the port with the smallest amount of clipping as it is...tried a couple other connections, including the one I thought I was originally on, and they're all worse...maybe they'll need to swap out the whole junction block/splitter/amplifier, but moving them around certainly didn't help a bit. Oh well...where did I put my car keys? Looks like it's time for a little drive...

Got an invitation to head up to Greensboro tomorrow to see a friend, will probably do that since the Chicago trip never came together...it'll be nice to get out on the road for a relatively short road trip, just need to await the call for details on where and when to be.

So I've got MTV on for background noise, when who do I see come on but J Lo...apparently, the concept is that she's all these girls in the video, and this one persona is a clubgoing type with a slinky outfit and a lot of makeup. Problem is, she's got it slathered on so thick that she literally looks like a drag queen. Not one of the few passable ones running around, but like the real manly, kick-your-ass-if-you don't-agree-that-they-look-fabulous scary drag queens. (shudder)

Finally spoke to Boston Amy (as mentioned above), turns out she didn't drive through CLT, (not real sure how that would work otherwise, but oh well) and that's why I hadn't heard from her...she's somehow been held up (physical results, I think) on the start of the flight attendant training, and went to San Deigo for a few days. I've extended her an invitation to come up and see her good buddy Gene for the weekend when she realizes how crazy being around her family makes her, so we'll see if that comes to fruition...

It appears that Skip's finally started his blog (lemme know if you don't want me linking to it, bud!) and so far it's a damned funny read! So funny, in fact, that in conjunction with the dry weather, I've gone ahead and split my lip from laughing too hard...thanks a lot! Now I can't find my Carmex, on top of it, grr!

Still need to call Laura and find out what the scoop on the situation there is...damn this time difference and my goofy sleep schedule! Should also call Ba in the next day or two here and wish him a bon voyage and godspeed and yee lou shwin fung and all that crap...and that I won't make it up to see him off, but eh, he's a big boy...he obsesses over travel details anyway, and I'd just cramp his style. Gotta think of if I need anything from Taiwan though...hrm...maybe a couple hot asian chicks for the guys, that's about all I can think of...

Speaking of asian hotties, some random one wrote me on Friendster today, indicating that she and I seem to have "ohmigod, TOTALLY the same taste in music!" and have I "heard any good trance songs lately?!" Naturally, I wrote her back saying that of course, I had an endless supply of new european trance, (except I left my changer cartridge at Skip and Lin's so I've been stuck listening to crap-ass Charlotte radio since saturday, lucky I haven't had to drive anywhere...) but alas, I only share my music with the girls I'm sleeping with, but CLT is my airport code if she should happen to want to come out to meet me and my new friends...we'll see if that pans out...

Oh yeah, watched Kill Bill Vol.2 today. Was very much looking forward to this one, the first one was so good that going into it, I knew it was going to be a two parter, but managed to get so involved in the story that I forgot, and was utterly surprised when it came time for the quasi-cliffhanger ending. I seem to recall a bunch of people saying how good the second one was, in fact how much better it was than the first one, but holy crap...Quentin, if you're reading this, WTF were you thinking?! It dragged for like the first 98 minutes, there are like MAYBE 2.5 good scenes, then sucks right on through to the weak-ass ending. There's two hours I'm never going to get back. Michael Madsen was wasted, Daryl Hannah was wasted, the stereotypical old Chinese kung-fu master dude, while marginally funny, was utterly wasted (not to mention that the whole punching-through-boards-oh-doesn't-that-come-in-handy bit was insulting and trite) and even Uma can't-act-her-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag Thurman was even wasted (although she looked GREAT in the pregnancy test scene sizing up her delicious abs and grabbing herself, yum...and I don't even like her normally). The little girl (Bebe?) was very precocious and cute, but WTF was up with never telling us what the big friggen secret with her name being Beatrix in the first one and like the first 20 minutes of the second one? Did I miss something? And why did her husband-to-be Tommy think her name was like Amanda or something? OK maybe she changed it while she was on the run, but still! For an ace filmmaker, this was a big steamy pile. None of the clever character development of the first one, nowhere near the caliber or even presence of choreography, no kickass showdowns, no chases to speak of, not even any T & A to save it...(sigh) Clearly, I had high hopes, but this isn't even a case of the film not living up to hype or expectations...I'll have to give it two thumbs...square up QT's ass. (Not MY thumbs mind you, maybe some fat hairy biker type.

Grr, no internet makes me sleepy...peace out (gawd, I hate it when people say that)

Solace and vindication in unlikely places...

So I've been hearing things here and there about how great a show Six Feet Under is, and while I initially had little to no interest due to there being no notable actors or prominent hot chicks, upon Lin's recommendation and them having the season one DVDs on-hand, (I'm loathe to watch any shows out of order, esp. when they're dramatic and serial like this) led me to bring them back with me, thinking I'd maybe watch the first couple episodes, not like it, and bring them the discs back next week. Here's what I learned:

-Theme music is just like Huff (which I love so far for many of the same reasons...that and Paget Brewster...rawr!)
-Fake commercials in the first episode were clever at first, but quickly got old and grated on my last nerve, glad it didn't carry forward.
-Writing is pretty good...took a couple episodes to get going but man, they hook you right in!
-Sex scenes are hot, just like Lin said, but mostly due to artsiness/stupid rooting-for-the-protagonist disney-type audience manipulation and not as much actual torrid T&A kinda shenanigans...and they make me think of new friends...and old...
-I find it a little hard to believe that all the family members are having the exact same hallucination of the Dad, I mean come on...sure it's the getup he was buried in, but was it really worth the savings in wardrobe? I mean this is HBO, not channel 13 cable access!
-Both main chicks started out not the slightest bit hot, got hot as chars developed. I have this theory that TV shows and movies make up actresses to be more and more hot as series and films progress, to help reel in the male audience...but it also might just be because it's late...or maybe because they both individually remind me of girls I've dated? Whoa, that's a whole other entry's worth of psychoanalysis...
-Hour 7 is too riveting for me to go to bed, although it's 6:30am
-I'm finding that I'm quite fond of bulleted lists
-Box/packaging is wrong, states that disc one is four episodes and disc two is three, when it's in fact the other way around. That kind of crap pisses me off, that no one caught that, or caught it but didn't care enough and/or couldn't justify the cost to fix it...guess I'm secretly OCD after all
-Watching Brenda and Nate go at it, I'm shocked at how objective and insightful I can be about other people's relationships, especially when they're a) two-dimensional, b) completely imaginary, and/or c) TV formulaic. Maybe this is why I get asked for relationship advice? Shit, I've got to call Laura back...she's in crisis...
-Episode 9, the "Drugs are Bad, Mmmkay?" one...I feel that the effects of E were greatly exaggerated in a propagandist effort to deceive children into a false sense of fear of recreational drug use. (Just kidding...well on that last part anyway.)
-How weird is it that I was starting to think Brenda was looking like a young Mary Gross, then they bring Mary Gross on as the floral/yoga instructor?! Tres bizarre!
-If I stay up to watch the full 13 episodes in a row, I'll a) be up until around 1pm, and b) very likely have a firm indication that something is wrong with me.

(yawn)

The constant death theme, tempered by the different ways they approach it I think has been somewhat helpful in reaffirming the way I think I've dealt with the stuff with my Mother's passing oh-so-many-years ago, and my "devil-may-care cavalier attitude in life" (thanks for identifying that one for me, Ames) ;)

Good program, good timing, and yes, I'm hooked on yet another series that I kinda do/kinda don't have time for...

Ugh...9:30am, 3 episodes to go, falling asleep at the wheel...ZzzzZzzZZzzzzz.

Weekend postgame wrap-up...

Damn if time just doesn't seem to get away from me...it is now very nearly 3pm, and I've only managed to check off the "Eat" line item on the aforementioned list.

So on to the events of the weekend...

Saturday night was nothing if not interesting. Showed up at the club around 10pm, seemed like a decent sized crowd for that time of night. Ended up giving LeAnn a ride, as her car was in the shop. She had a friend (who we'll call, say "Billy",) meet us up there. Chatting with him on the way inside, he seems like a nice enough guy. Well, nice guy or not, his judgment could probably use a tiny bit of improvement, as he proceeds to drink himself into enough of a haze that he somehow manages to lose his pants, containing, presumably among other things, his wallet (credit cards/ID/allegedly large amounts of cash/etc.), cell phone, and car keys. This loss is discovered roughly 1am, and by the time we're ready to leave at around 5-5:30, when the guy is completely passed out at a table in the corner. (Thankfully, it was a dark enough corner that pants status was indeterminate; no mystery body parts were visible to the casual observer.) I decide the best course of action is to act like no one knows who the guy could possibly be, and get the hell out of Dodge. I did hear that they eventually found his pants, and that he did make it out of there OK. Call me old fashioned, but I'm of the impression that grown men should absolutely be held accountable for the whereabouts of their pants at any given point in time, and should they lose track of that simple piece of information, that they pretty much get what they deserve.

Met JJ, a friend of Lin's in from FL. Cool cool guy, scary how much he and I think alike...further proof that Lin's a great judge of character, but then again, I'm biased, aren't I?

Tried Levitra for the first time, and while I have to say that the effectiveness was probably on par with my limited Viagra experience, neither seems to really do much for me. In fact, I seemed to be better off on Sunday evening, long after the vitamin V I took early that afternoon should have worn off. My metabolism must be kind of screwy; in the past I've noticed that some medicines don't really seem to affect me like they should, while others seem to work almost too well, and can sometimes have different reactions to the same dosage of certain chemicals at different times. This theory seems to borne out with my recent upturn in recreational drug use: Pot seems to not affect me as much as it does others, especially when compared to accounts of other people new to smoking who have what should be low tolerances; I get somewhat buzzy, and show some cottonmouth/munchies symptoms, but don't feel like I'm anything more than slightly buzzed. E and OTC pain relievers like acetaminophen/ibuprofen/aspirin seem to be right on the money as far as common reactions to common dosages, but I seem to notice a slightly higher initial tolerance with regard to the E. When drinking, I tend to go from buzzed right to sick, skipping "drunk" altogether. Tried ephedrine a couple times many many moons ago, but don't seem to remember that doing much for me either. Not to get off on too much of a tangent here, but doing a little bit of cursory reading on the matter produced this article on Viagra. They mention a marked decrease in effectiveness when consuming high fat meals prior to ingesting the drug...interesting...that DOES explain quite a bit...almost every time I've experimented with one of thes vasodialators, I've been drinking, and have have eaten rather heartily beforehand in order to buffer the alcohol consumption. There are also other relevant and fascinating articles on that site, click around. One goes on to say that tobacco and marijuana smoke as well as alcohol consumption (duh), all even in small measures, can have an adverse effect on erectile function, as well as being contraindicated, to some degree with said vasodilators...this calls for more experimentation/research...wonder if I could dress it up and work a treatment to scam a grant out of the deal..."Dea Gub'ment, please send me loads of cash to bang hot chicks...thank y'all."

Sunday recovery at Skip and Lin's was a great time, as usual (as usual as usual can be after two times, anyway), with a few new introductions to the menagerie: Deb, who is this amazingly cool/hip, absolutely gorgeous woman with an exceptionally interesting past career (that I'm not sure I'm at liberty to discuss), who I'm initially very fond of, seemed to hit it off with, and hope to get to know in the future. (Will call you soon babe!) Got to know Dan and Melissa a little better, they were introduced Friday night, she's luscious, he's insane, with a penchant for the whiskey and outrageous (but absolutely true!) stories...funny couple though...Tracy and Jesse also showed up, here's a classic mismatched couple, but both seem to be cool in their way.

Kudos to Ham for turning me on to oddtodd.com. Apparently this is a guy who was laid off from some manner of tech company (MCI?), who seems to mirror some of my situational dilemmas; the value of and affinity for midday naps, painfully obvious lack of disposable income, a penchant for strippers, and a mind-boggling lack of time-management skills. One difference though, is that he seems to have accomplished the Herculean task of assembling a flash animated web site and built a huge installed fan base, whereas I have not. I've asked a couple of people about it, and everyone polled seems to have heard of it ages ago, and totally thought it was me to a T, but no one thought to mention it to me, most citing some variation of "oh, I thought for sure YOU'D heard of it..." The two other flash animation sites I've seen and enjoyed immensely in the past are Homestar Runner and Foamy. I think Homestar's best known for the Strong Bad e-mails, it's even become a bit of a geek pop culture icon, I've seen references here and there. Foamy is a favorite of mine, they even have Foamy merchandise available at Hot Topic, a trendy neo-punk teenybopper mallrat hangout, but the humour also appeals to adults. My favorite one of all time is "Dating Advice", but it's been rotated off the main site. Memphis Mikey found a Foamy Archive site here with all the episodes preserved for posterity. It amazes me that people are able to crank these out on a regular basis on presumably nonexistent budgets. Granted, they're not all universally funny, and flash precludes modern-day features taken for granted in all other media, like fast-forward and rewind, but they're a great showcase for all manner of talent, and a great sinkhole for spare time you don't have to whittle away.

Hung out all day Sunday with the gang, hot tubbed, ate, conversed, drank, smoked, caroused, chatted, people came and went, and a bunch of us crashed there overnight. All kinds of crazy things were discussed, every singe one of which escapes me at the moment...should anyone think of anything feel free to add them to the comments (anonymously even, if you want to pretect your identity) so that we might all remember and have a hearty laugh. Ha, ha, ha!!

On Monday morning (well, just after noon, anyway) when folks started stirring, it was decided that breakfast would be a good thing, so I volunteered to cook, and whipped up some pancakes, eggs and bacon for the hungry partygoers. Hung out, chatted, and hot tubbed some more, Grilled out, had dinner, and called it a weekend. It sounds farfetched, but these weekends are getting better and better and better...when will it end?!

On a side note, I need to go shooting. Whilst living in Rock Hill, I purchased an annual family membership with Carolina Sportsman's gun range in Rock Hill (25 or so miles south of where I'm living now), thinking that Loh or I could go shooting any time, and that clearly, that was the way to go, no contest...we'd be there once a week, once every two weeks at the outside most, thus saving untold hundreds in range fees. Now that Loh and I have become semi-estranged, not only do I not see him, but since I've moved, going all that way to go shoot for an hour or so is just a hassle. If I at least knew he was going without me, and the membership was getting some usage, I'd at least feel better about it, but since he sold his gun before he moved out here oh so many years ago, and would have to rent something to shoot, and his wife didn't enjoy it the one time they went together, he's not likely to go on his own.

That'll do it for now, I'm sure I'm forgetting things, but I'll add as they occur to me. in the meantime, I have phone calls to make, IMs to pen, and TV box sets to watch...all apologetically but the last one...

Constant updates...

OK, so it's Tuesday morning (just barely, awoke at 11:59am) and I'm already overwhelmed with the things I should be doing (These are just the pretty-much-immediately kinds of things):

-Respond to voice mails left over the weekend
-Respond to IMs left over the weekend
-Decide on/plan Chicago trip
-Start perusing Writers Market, ideally formulating an idea or ten on how to start this writing thing
-Eat
-Call new (and old) friends

Patterns of disappointment...

Sorry all, getting in very late Monday night/Tuesday morning, and my brain is in entirely too much of a slushy state to compose anything even remotely witty. Call it a cop-out, call it a preponderance of integrity, call it plain old bad judgement, but I will NOT dilute the quality and value of these posts just to have some fluff for you a.m. zombies to devour with your coffee! (Haha, that's some kind of flimsy and transparent rationale, eh?) But rest assured, gentle readers, that I have an entire list of topics I want to ramble on about, as this weekend certainly had it's share of blog fodder. Bear with me just a bit longer, these entries are bound to start getting funny, it's statistically due...

Proper post/weekend recap before dusk on Tuesday, or double your money back. I challenge you to find a better deal than that, even on eBay!

Motivationally challenged...

No real post today, sleepy...zzzzZz...

Amy called and won't be leaving until tonight, may or may not be able to swing by for more than a quick "hello"...bro is driving with her after all, so the actual trip won't be as brutal...

Spent the day unpacking a bit, good to actually get something done for a change...

Ba's going to Taiwan for a month on the 23rd, gotta see if he needs anything for the trip...maybe I should head to Chi before he leaves? May be back either Valentine's weekend or the weekend after to hit the Auto Show with Mikey, that's pretty quick for a couple trips...but then again, it's not as though I need to take time off work or anything...hrm...

Need to call Ames, Esq. Missed her the last couple times on IM...ooh, maybe I'll call now...she's probably out drinking, maybe hottie sister Mel will answer...worth a shot, anyway...damnation, voice mail...this girl NEVER answers her phone, grr...WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE?!

OK, off to bed...bonne nuit.

Some rules should never be broken...

...like being in a grocery store when you're hungry...doubly so when it's 3am and one should be in bed...lest one go in for some cranberry juice and come out a C-note lighter...

Not much to relate in today's wake, other than the aforementioned shopping disaster. Finally ventured out of the house, after about 2 days without setting foot outside, let alone moving my car. Went to get gas, check best buy for an imaginary product I swear they used to sell, and then to barnes and noble for my 2005 Writers Market. Yes, yes...after much ego stroking, cajoling, encouragement, mocking, support, and emotional blackmail, my many (OK, two) proponents have convinced me to give this freelance writing a try. What's the worst that could happen? Aside from shredding my frail ego, starving to death, and having to sell all my worldly (and prized) posessions! Developments on that front as they occur...

Haven't heard from fly girlie Ames yet, wonder when she's going to try and drive? Perhaps she got behind in moving? The mind boggles...

Yawn...screw it, sleepy...off to bed, possibly more updates in the am (well, as soon as I get up) when I'm coherent...

Ciao...

Columnar fun...

Surely I can't be the only one who feels the week's all but ground to a halt? There are probably a number of possibilities for this feeling:

1) I'm having far too much fun on the weekends
2) I have any number of things I should be doing, but am instead, slacking
3) I'm not getting anything of value done (I guess this is a by-product of #2)
4) Other than drinks with yoga hotties yesterday, haven't had any social interaction whatsoever, bleh
5) The week has, in fact, ground to a halt.

Up again in the noon hour today, did nothing but watch some TV, initiate a couple (OK, 38) film and album downloads (thank you, Pirate Bay!)

IM chatted with:

- NYC Kel (not to be confused with fit yogi Kel),
- Memphis Mikey (HS buddy),
- Boston Ames (who looks to be visting Friday after all, gotta get her to stick around for Saturday night Estate gathering),
- Kate (of Paul & Kate),
- Kate (formerly of Gene & Kate),
- LeAnn,
- Hunter Jen, and
- Newly-designated Co-conspirator Jen.

We (all those guys) discussed:

- possible need for a ride from me to and from the Estate Sat night,
- my oral skills (or lack thereof),
- potato recipes,
- marine fishtank maintenance and "serpent starfishes" (or something like that),
- breaking up with former boyfriends and whether or not we would have dated if I'd moved elsewhere rather than Charlotte,
- BDSM relationships gone horribly wrong,
- marital infidelity and possible divorce proceedings,
- women who squirt and what I may or may not know and experiences I may or may not have had on that topic, (gonna go ahead and say this was NOT with Mike)
- future yoga plans,
- possible non-sexual naked yoga, and how we might profit from it,
- very sexual naked hot tubbing,
- familial health and well-being,
- my shitty online and real life pool skills and my need to go somewhere to pay off a dinner-and-drinks bet I've now lost,
- just how lazy must I be to not have even started looking for work yet?
- my impending writing career,
- possible threeway action,
- the weather,
- and where I get all my kick-ass trance music.

Maybe we can make this into a fun matching game: Column A will list everyone I've IMed with today, and Column B will indicate topics. Definitely a contender for the award for most tedious excercise ever proposed on this blog. Hrm, although there is a salvageable idea in there somewhere...I like the idea of listing everyone I've spoken to and what we've discussed, but without the burden of association...it frees me to talk about almost anything and everyone, provided the remarks are general enough to potentially apply universally to anyone. I get my topical anecdotes, anonymity is preserved, and people can't bitch that I'm airing their dirty laundry, becasue it's ultimately not their hypothetical problem I'm blathering about, and the gravy on top of everything else, it leads to wild speculation on the part of the reader, like a giant game of telephone (sort of.) Hrm...experimentation to follow...for now, moving on...

D's having a tumultuous time of late, wish there was some way I could help her..or let her know that she should find me if there's anything I can do...there's nothing worse than seeing your friends and/or loved ones suffer and not being able to or not knowing whether you can help out. (...on the other hand, I've got $10) ;) (inside joke...hope someone gets it!)

Didn't answer the phone all day (no one of importance called...well Ba, but I need to have a conversation with him, so I'll call him back tomorrow) Remind me!

Hrm, I guess other than that, it's been a slow news day here at Camp Gene...perhaps tomorrow will be more eventful...

"Ebullient" is the word for the day...I had to look it up, it means "to bubble over; lively, enthusiastic". That and I suddenly would kill for a Jamba Juice smoothie...alas.

Finally, I'm generally not a fan of me-too blog "reporting" or linking to current-events type pages/sites, as I think it's too trendy and pseudo-journalistic and out of the scope of most personal blogs. Personally, I'm far too ill-informed about current events to speak intelligently, but this is one link I have to post, it's amazing the technology we have at our disposal in this day and age. clicky. It's 14 sets of before-and after satellite photos of tsunami (overused word of the year thus far...I much prefer "seiche", but that only applies to lakes and such, alas) affected areas. What can I say? I'm a geeky sucker for satellite photography. (I've also managed to stay blissfully ignorant of news of this event as well as photos of the damage/carnage, so this was my concession to the worst natural disaster of our time)

Ciao kids...

Yeah, I AM pretty hot...

How can it only be Tuesday?! It feels like it ought to be Wednesday, at the very least, possibly even Thursday, should one stretch one's imagination. Gah, the weeks are getting longer and longer! And I'm not even working! Had a great day though, slept til a little after noon, upon which I was awakened to what I thought was a persistent lawn mower, perhaps parked right under my bedroom window, constantly being revved to perhaps ease me into wakefulness...turns out it was a wood chipper, and I don't know what they were cutting down, but it went on for a loooooong time. Zoned out in front of the computer trying to clear out some HD space to repurpose the 120 Hitachi (along with the other one that's around here somewhere, both to replace the crapped-out WDs I had in there in the first place) back into the TiVo from whence it came, when who should call me but Kel, and guess what, she'll be over in 3 minutes. Crikey, I'm an absolute mess. Jump in the shower, chat with her for a bit about her already-eventful day, fun. Somehow manage to get suckered into going to yoga with her at 5:30. She tells me to drink as much water as I can stomach, and to please stop eating my guac Doritos lest I become the first person to ralph in the hothouse yoga studio. So she goes to prepare, and I'm left to wonder just what I've gotten myself into. I really need to learn to think about my responses before giving them, rather than just saying "yes" to anything any random hotties might say to me...buy me a drink, come to yoga with me, look at my car/computer, loan me a kidney, etc.

Make a couple calls, check e-mail, ponder the nature of life, gather some clothes/towels, head over to the studio. Kel calls me on the way, since I'm running late, as usual, getting my infor for the form she's filling out. I really should have paid more heed to the fact that "next-of-kin" is a required field (OK, so it was just labelled "emergency contact", but that's not really as dramatic, is it?), but Kel's being extremely gracious as to offer to treat me to my first taste of the yogi lifestyle, so when she asks me if I'd be willing to commit to two or three sessions, I figure I should at least try to really give it a go and sign up for three times.

I will say that going into it, I had no idea what to expect, and I had mixed emotions about being the only guy there: good odds, but the flipside is that I'm automatically the biggest slob in the room. The instructor isn't who Kel promises, but instead the studio owner, who is this absolutely stunning petite asian woman possibly in her mid to late forties, with a magnificently enhanced pectoral region, and this absolutely incredible overall physique. Kel's there, being very encouraging and supportive, but ultimately, I've got to get through this on my own. The room's like a billion degrees (I later find out it's 95F) dryish heat, feels good at first, but then we get started, and roughly 28.3 seconds into it, I'm sweating buckets. I mean literally, I've never, ever sweated like this in my life, doing ANYTHING. (Really, anything.) And it goes on and on, for almost 90 minutes. How are these women doing this? I mean I know I live an extremely sedentary lifestyle, but holy crap it's grueling! I'm absolutely soaked, my towel/yoga mat are soaked, I'm downing crazy amount of water, feel like I'm about to pass out, having to stop to collect myself every 10 minutes or so, and just in general, thinking how can all these women be in so much better shape than I am?! (I'm having to concentrate so hard on not passing out/collapsing that it never even occurred to me to ogle all these hot (no pun) scantily-clad, glistening women! WTF?!) I must have sweated out about a gallon and a half of fluid, I'd be damned surprised if I didn't walk (barely) out of there 18 or so pounds lighter. And I get to look forward to two more sessions, yay! At the end of class, I'm introduced to Kel's good friend Suzy (sp?), who was right in front of me the whole time. I'm told they're kindred spirits, these two, and I'm invited to drinks with them afterward. I'd be a fool not to have drinks with a couple limber hotties, right?

I'm trying to maintain that with my busy and strenuous weekend party schedule, that I can only swing this kind of thing once a week at the very most, but K & S beg to differ, indicating that again in two or three days would be best. We'll see, guys...

Afterwards, home for a shower then back out to meet the girls. Weapon of choice is Firebirds in Ballantyne, an upscale steak type place where Suzy's husband Mark works. By the time I make my way there, the girls have already ordered a bottle of wine and are laughing it up. Both og them look absolutely stunning, and I'm very fortunate to have dined with them. We chat, drink, laugh, eat, and generally have a great time for a couple hours, these two are fabulous! Got to chat with Mark a bit, they're a super cute couple, hope to see more of them, good times.

Once we leave there it hits me how tired and utterly drained I am. Drive Kel home, go up with her and talk for a bit, then home, shower again, and type this.

Should try and be more productive tomorrow, maybe at least look at the classifieds/online stuff and send a couple/few CVs out. Oooh, maybe go give blood, been meaning to do that for a while...hrm, maybe I should wait for a Monday to do that...need my strength for the weekend...and now for yoga, too...

I wonder who I call to complain with Blogger...I had a pretty good "description" (that goes under the "Unmitigated Ramblings" heading/banner) typed up and entered, and it even showed up when I looked...but then all of a sudden this morning, it's gone, vanished without a trace. I definitely can't remember what I'd written, and can't recreate it, it's just gone forever. Pity, as I was actually quite pleased with it, and have absolutely no way to reproduce it. Damnation.

Schmoozing the cable guy, yay...

Time Warner showed up promptly at 1:30 or so, got a cool installer, Nick, who with a little salesmanship, hooked me up with cable TV (including HBO) as well as internet service, so I tipped him rather healthily and sent him on his way with a Cuban cigar from my stash. Set up the secondary TiVo in the living room on the primary wireless router, and ran a temporary line to the switch, since I can't seem to get the repeater/bridge to connect to the D-Link...figures. Perhaps with some sleep and a fresh start in the AM, it'll make more sense...

Got a call from Laura, talked to her for over an hour...she's back in London, and is apparently loving life. Love life (how alliterative is that?!) appears to be chugging right along as well, with a devilishly slick mystery man lavishing extremely grandiose gestures to win her affections. Naturally, there are some complications, so my opinion was solicited (why do so many people (mostly women though) ask me for relationship advice? I'm no good at it! I generally frown upon it, and vehemently discourage it! I avoid it at all costs for myself (at least for the last 5 or so years), and as a result, am the last person anyone should be asking.) and I weighed in that my take on it is that she should continue (attagirl, way to pay attention to earlier talks!) to be aloof, play coy, show just enough of what could be construed as interest, and under no circumstances should she sleep with him until she tires of the whole thing. As a result, the magnitude of his actions will continue to intensify to a fever pitch, until he wins her over and she can no longer resist, he spontaneously combusts, or they both simultaneously and for no good reason completely lose interest (it sounds odd, but these things happen!) I do have to hand it to the guy though, after hearing some of the things he's done, _I'M_ almost ready to date him! Seriously though, this guy is slick...we could all stand to learn a thing or two from him. Ladies, beware...

Chatted extensively with soon-to-be sexy-peanut-pusher Amy over IM, she's headed to the ATL via road trip this weekend to begin flight attendant training. Attempting to get her to swing by for a visit, maybe bring her down to the estate, and introduce her hot ass around to the new crowd, get the guys drooling a little...downside is that her brother might be doing the drive with her, so we would need to get him "distracted" as well...ladies, don't let me down... ;)

Note to self: need to start doing these entries either more frequently, earlier in the day, or some combination of both...tougher to write when the eyelids are heavier.

Experimentation time, we're going to play with embedded/inline image links, to see if I can incorporate photos to counteract my verbosity (mental note to check and see if that's a word):



If that tag worked, what you should see is a photo of Gwen and yours truly circa January '97. We're at the after-party for a benefit held for Sublime lead Brad Nowell's widow and kid, held at the Hollywood Palladium. Soon after this photo was taken, the group I was partying with at the time got invited to crash in the band's hospitality suite (thanks guys!), after which we all headed out to breakfast at Denny's, if memory serves...cool guys every last one of them of them, especially the underappreciated horn section guys. Photo choice comes at the request of someone I was talking to this weekend (exactly who escapes me at the moment) and telling of the story of the time we partied with No Doubt, and I proposed to Gwen in true teenybopper fan-boy, stalkerly fashion. Slick, eh? Well, I got called on it, so here are the pics to show that I was, at one point, people who knew people...



That one's pretty much the same story, L to R: pissed-looking security guy, Gwen, Lowell, Me (looking kinda stunned, no idea why) backstage at what is now called the Tweeter Center, previously the World Music Center (or something like that) in Tinley Park, IL, June '97.

Should you be so inclined, the rest of both sets of photos and a few other randoms can be found here. Click and enjoy, but for heaven's sake, don't tell me how lame the captions are, a) I know, b) I've heard it all already, and c) I wrote them 8 years ago for chrissakes!

You people, seriously...

On a similar note, I have some even older and funnier photos, but I'm a little conflicted about posting them. The pros are that they're of me and various porn chicks. The cons are that I look like an ass, and I'll get laughed at. Your thoughts? Leave a comment or two indicating your opinions, and perhaps that link will be made public. Some of you may have seen them already, and others might see this as a blatant attempt to churn up some business in the comment department and/or obtain some cheap feedback. All I have to say to that is "do you want to see the porn chicks or not?!" Something reassuring about how you promise not to mock or laugh, hold it against me, or that I'm "so hot/studly/good in the sack now so how dorky I was in the past doesn't matter" would probably go a long way towards shoring up my weak self-esteem...

It's in your hands now...

Salad madness...

Another weekend come and gone, and as usual, will need the rest of the week to dry out/recover, what fun!

Partied at the Estate, which, as previously mentioned, will likely be the usual Saturday activity...Kate and Paul came up from Spartanburg to hang out and check it out...they appeared to have made friends and seemed to have an overall good time, hope to see them back. Met some more cool people there this week, mostly through introductions from recent friends. The social/networking potential of this place is staggering! Overall, a good, relaxed time, as it was MUCH less crowded than last week's craziness.

Hung out with Skip and Linda again for Sunday laziness...Lin teased with a suggestion of "Pittsburgh Salads". When I indicated that I'd never heard of such a thing and had my doubts that there was, in fact, a salad named after the city, she so much as scoffed at my lack of salad worldliness. I countered by indicating that while I had actually been to Pittsburgh, my visit was notably bereft of salad. Naturally, I needed to research the matter. Googling it netted me at first glance, no such beast. Aha! I was vindicated...but then on closer inspection, (and a proper search of "Pittsburgh Salad" rather than without the quotes) returned a passel of entries, the second of which was a link to carnegielibrary.org, the site for the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh (I know, it's all highly suspicious, and smacks of a cover-up, or other insidious scam), which had the following to say on the subject:


Pittsburgh Salad
This is a tossed green salad, topped with grated provolone cheese, french fries and either grilled chicken or steak. The Union Grill on Craig Street in Oakland can show you how it's done. I hear that our rival city to the west features a Cleveland Salad. You can even order a Pittsburgh Salad in Clymer, NY and at Mulligans in Maryland and Delaware (must cater to all those Pittsburghers at the Shore).


Also found a link to a history and facts datasheet here listing some interesting high points on the city. Sounds like a food mecca if these facts are to be believed...but there, near the bottom, is yet more proof of the elusive salad:


Pittsburgh Salad: take a salad, any salad, and top with french fries.


It sounds good (more so in the first entry than the second), but long story short, there ended up being no salads in our future, Pittsburgh or otherwise. Women are such teases. However it appears that there is, in fact, such a thing as a Pittsburgh Salad. So Lin, if you're reading, my apologies... Sorry I ever doubted you, but you're still a salad tease.

Skip's apparently also got a new 17" G4 Powerbook, damn those things are sexy...I need to get myself one...it beats the crap out of this girlie iBook...but then again this was initially purchased for use by a woman, so I guess it's cool...but anyway, gotta give the guy credit, he seems to have good taste in toys and accoutrements...right on bro...it's all about the toys...

Finally got to see D, a much-welcomed opportunity to make amends and catch up...thankfully, things seem to be great on that front, despite all the crap last week and a couple missed phone calls and text messages today, possibly associated with my 5pm wake-up time...

Time Warner's supposed to be by tomorrow for the cable install, and not a minute too soon, as the neighbor's cable is out YET AGAIN...bastards! They called at a most inopportune time on friday night as well, something like 8pm, while I'm trying to navigate an unfamiliar locale with directions froom an onboard passenger in the dark through the sticks of SC, insisting that I needed to set up an appointment NOW. I think the appointment's for tomorrow, 1-3pm, but since I couldn't write it down, I could be wrong. The prospect of not having to leave the house to get internet is very attractive about now

Most of this probably won't make any sense reading it in the morning, but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

Night kids, driving home and going to bed...

Improving on charmed...

So original Friday night plans are kind of on hold/don't materialize, so I'm hanging out at home debating what to do, when who should appear but hottie fitness girl K, my roommate's former roommate, so the old me. Or am I the new her? Regardless, she tells of a friend's bonfire gathering in the woods of SC, says I absolutely MUST attend if I have no other plans. Now K is beautiful, and based on what little I know of/have seen from time to time, seems entirely and amazingly cool, like the total person you could just hang with all the time and have great fun, only on top of all that, she also happens to be hot too, so cool people to have around...So at the drop of the proverbial hat, we're off! First to Lowes (I know, I know, not the home improvement place, but a local grocer (or greengrocer if you're English)) to get some wine, Old Bay Seasoning steamed shrimp (yum) and some Guinness bottles (also yum). Cruise on out to BFE, SC (actually only like 5 miles from civilization) again, fabulous digs out in the woods, meet some cool cool people there. Gigantic 20-foot bonfire outside, roaring fire in the hearth, good food drink and music inside, great people to chat and hang out with, tend the fire, munch, hot tub, chit chat, drink, indulge.

Guy behind the guy Tony, fab hostess Doreen (sp?), rock star looking Kevin #1 and very Brooklyn Italian Maria, Designated Driver (but knows every song that comes off the satellite) Chris, Crazy Ass Kevin (#2), Matt and Kel...I think that's it...did I miss anyone? No clue...think that's it though, fab bunch, truly grand people, will see more of them in the future...Thanks a bunch guys! Y'all are a riot!

Crash around 5am, best couch ever! Up for an interactive group breakfast (oddly shaped pancakes, eggs of all kinds, sausages, OJ, much coffee and goofiness) around 10-11, talk talk talk, hot tub again (LOVE the hot tub), munch more Old Bay shrimp and fabulous homemade salsa, yum!

What are the odds of meeting two completely separate groups of cool-as-hell people in two adjacent weekends? That's right, damn-near-impossible, I'm a fortunate guy. They're cooking out tonight as well, if I didn't already have plans, I'd so be there! But alas, perhaps another time...

Home now to shower and possibly nap, out tonight with the crazy crowd from last weekend...promises to be a good time for all...Updates as time permits.

Schoolboy giddiness...

I am a lucky, lucky guy. Prior to hitting the sack last night, got online briefly to do a last check of e-mail and other housekeeping tasks, when who should IM me, but my new friend Jen, the (much) cuter half of the H&J team spoken of in earlier posts. What by all accounts should have been a 3-5 minute conversation turned into over two hours, and I find myself then and now, giddy like, well, for wont of a more apropos term, the aforementioned schoolboy. Then this morning (well early, early afternoon), awoke to a couple of very sweet e-mails from D again with the giddiness...I can't keep up! Now all I need is to see Lin again, and I will be officially overcome by the attentions of all these amazingly incredible creatures...no wonder we men are so weak in the face of their wiles. Now all I need is to happen across an obscenely large steamer trunk (make that a shipping container) full of hundreds, and life will be golden.

Finally found a sweet replacement for Suprnova, which shut down sometime last week or so? Reading Wired (which is the finest magazine on the face of the planet, bar none...I devour it from cover to cover in one sitting, it should really be a weekly magazine) yesterday turned me on to The Pirate Bay (inane name, I know), which shows much much more promise (and staying power) than Suprnova ever did. These guys have received cease-and-desist letters from attorneys for Dreamworks, Electronic Arts and Microsoft, and their ballsy responses are just insane, saying things like:


As you may or may not be aware, Sweden is not a state in the United States of America. Sweden is a country in northern Europe. Unless you figured it out by now, US law does not apply here. For your information, no Swedish law is being violated.

Please be assured that any further contact with us, regardless of medium, will result in
a) a suit being filed for harassment
b) a formal complaint lodged with the bar of your legal counsel, for sending frivolous legal threats.

It is the opinion of us and our lawyers that you are fucking morons, and that you should please go sodomize yourself with retractable batons.


and:


Hello and thank you for contacting us. We have shut down the website in question.

Oh wait, just kidding. We haven't, since the site in question is fully legal. Unlike certain other countries, such as the one you're in, we have sane copyright laws here. But we also have polar bears roaming the streets and attacking people :-(.


The inevitable downside, is of course, that I don't speak/read Swedish, and have a difficult time navigating the site...not so much that I haven't been able to download my secret fix of reality shows, (another good site for TV downloads is #TVTorrents) Reno 911, and Huff!. I accidentally got hooked on The Amazing Race and My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss while I was stuck watching TV in Indy...

Also need to re-establish my Wired subscription and get my garbage mens, car, and gun magazine subscriptions transferred to this address. The only reason I get crap like Maxim, Stuff, and FHM is for entertainment value...ok, and the eye candy contained therein. The gun magazines are largely useless, as not much happens in that field worth writing about month after month. Plus, magazine subscriptions are dirt cheap when you get them from the online clearinghouses. I mean $3.59/year for FHM, Maxim, or Stuff? I think I spend more than that on toilet paper! Seriously though, they're one of the few places you can find the tougher-to-get-through-clearinghouses titles like Wired, National Geographic, and AutoWeek, etc., and they're literally the cheapest game in town. They should put me on the payroll for extolling their virtues and bringing in the business...cheap bastards...

That's all for now, gotta test these formatting tags and embedded hyperlinks...man my HTML's rusty...

Back to the old grind...

It amazes me how much joy this veranda brings me. It's aboslutely gorgeous out, I've my cold beverage, and there's something about wireless computing outdoors that's just so decadent...yum!

Absolutely zero accomplishment so far today, with no relief in sight! Meeting some friends for dinner up the street here, perhaps over to Kelley's to tweak her computer, but aside from that, aaaaaaah....slackerly goodness.

Not much else to write about, no call from Time Warner/RoadRunner yet...though they promised a call within 48 hours...did much better last time, called the next day...must really be blacklisted...

Perhaps a nap is in order...

This would all suck more if it wasn't absolutely gorgeous out...

This is getting old. My non-security-conscious mystery neighbor apparently has the worst cable intenet service known to mankind. It's constantly going out for no apparent reason, and staying out for indeterminate amounts of time, sometimes for days; it's so bad that for the last two days, the only way I can get online at a respectable speed is to hop in the car and visit one of the complexes down the street with the iBook...wardriving is novel at first, but becomes increasingly bothersome, the more one has to do it. So much am I peeved that I actually went down to Best Buy last night and reinitiated my cable order. Now I get to wait for them to realize I blew off my last appointment and blacklist me, thus ensuring my complete digital isolation from the world around me, nice. Here's to hoping that the connection I'll eventually pay for isn't as shitty as my neighbor's. Plus, what's worse, I'm loathe to sit in a car in front of a row of townhouses, with my laptop, for fear of some paranoid anti-terrorist-vigilante wannabee calls the cops or the homeland security boys on me, thinking I'm doing something more malicious than borrowing their stable internet. So, I feel the need to not always sit in front of the same house, thus condemning me to endless driving (read: creeping) around, repeatedly pushing the little button on the Kensington, looking for my fix of green blinky lights and eschewing the little red blinky light.

On the plus side, day one of my reentry into the world of the unemployed finds my slacking skills in top form, as though I'd never broken down and gotten a job in the first place. Sat out on the veranda all day with my ASOT (A State Of Trance) MP3s and Wired magazine, nary a care in the world, fully maximizing my enjoyment of the 70+ degree carolina January I moved down here for in the first place. Life is highly enjoyable, is it not? Damn the NC helmet laws and the homeowner's association's bylaws forbidding the parking of motorcycles on the property anyway...they all conspire to preclude me from taking full advantage of this heaven-sent weather by attempting to pick up chesty pierced/tattooed midriff-baring bike groupies from the happening places around town, alas.

Got a call from Lin (hot nurse from the weekend) today, had a very nice chat about nothing in particular, there's something very compelling about her, I've yet to put my finger on it..and she hasn't even showed me the outfit! Conversely, no call/contact from D, who I'm afraid I've inadvertently sent the wrong message to by accidentally standing her up on Sunday (still kicking myself hard on that one)...I need to see her to make my case on how much our relationship (definite non-traditional sense there) means to me...she's really the first person I truly connected with upon arrival here, and while she probably doesn't know that much about me (nor I her,) she's one of the most intelligent and underutilized/unrealized women I've ever met, and I feel a certain closeness to her, like we're so on the same wavelength all the time...I'd love the chance to actually get to know her, to get inside that deliciously fascinating head...anyway, enough schoolboy gushing, I'll attempt to describe her more objectively at a later date...for now, suffice it to say that I'm hopelessly mezmerized by her intellect and magnetic personality (and absolutely accomodating demeanor under any circumstances), let alone her feminine wiles...damn!

As I write this, I'm being chastized (albeit jokingly) by my old buddy Jeff about recreational (and illicit, he's quick to remind me) drug use and it's evils. (From reading this very blog! One hit of E does not a druggie make, Jeffie...) I politely inform him, that like all the zany, madcap adventures relayed here, all accounts are strictly hypothetical and/or ficticious (wink wink) and that as a good law enforcement officer, he should be well aware that none of it constitutes probable cause...although I do tend to think that his occasional and half-hearted lectures on how I ought to find a nice girl and settle down are just by-products of the programming and/or brainwashing efforts of his lovely wife, and the larger female propagandist machina-at-large (kidding, please don't have me killed, you're all gorgeously empowered role models!)

Missed a call from Jori, a former co-worker, about an open house for near-death USAir. She reminded me that I'd completely forgotten that that was today, not that I'd want to go through the rigamarole of the lemming-infested cattle call of an open house hiring process, only to start a new job with a new company, with no seniority, only to have to repeat the agony of the training process. And that's before I talked to Emerson (another former co-worker (heretofore referred to as FCWs)) and he mentioned that he thought they were only paying 6-something. WTF is that about? ATA was bad enough, and they were 50% higher! There are indignities that I will suffer for the sake of flight benefits, but that is just wrong. The caveat is that Emerson is largely confused, and while I like the guy and find him hilarious to be around, can't be relied upon to provide factual and/or correct information to save his life. He's foreign. (Brazilian, to be exact.) Also got a call from Delta Dan informing me that they'd filled the ONE position they ended up being allowed, but would I be interested in working ramp? Thanks but no thanks Dan, why the hell did you guys bother to even give those joke "interviews", anyway? What was the point of that? Scheduled us in 20-minute increments, and got us out of there with time to spare, just went over the 10-page long application line-by-line, do they think we can't read? Talk about insulting one's intelligence. Had to go all the way in to the airport for 8 goddamned minutes of "interview"?! (Not that I was bitter about it, though.) On a related note, Boston hottie Amy (what is it with me and hot girls named Amy that are completely impervious to my limited charms?) IMed me (though I prefer to chat her up via telephone, she has the cutest Boston accent: "Paaaaaahk the caaaaah!") yesterday, talked for quite a bit...turns out she quit ATA a couple weeks ago, and applied for, interviewed with, and has now been hired by AirTran as a "sexy peanut-pusher" (her words) and will start training in the ATL Jan. 17. Not only that, she somehow scammed me into doing the same, so I've now got a CV and letter of interest in with them, let's see if they call me. I think that if I suck in my gut, I can probably just make it down the aisles..."Something to drink, fat-ass? Uh, I mean sir or madam?"

Guess that's it for now, mind's a near-complete blank...

Harbinger of the year to come...

Wow. Where the fuck to begin? It has been, without a doubt, the most insane weekend I can remember ever having experienced, bar none. I feel the need to write a coherent and complete, but not excessively verbose, account of the last four days, so that when my memory of it fades (it's already started,) I'll have some kind of record of it's existence, and can relive it vicariously through my own words...this is exactly why I started doing this blog thing in the first place...

All of this is just one more thing I can chalk up to my now-confirmed "charmed life" status. As it stood prior to this weekend, my social life since moving to the carolinas was the best it's ever been, but now it appears that I've had the unbelievably good fortune to run into and been welcomed into the coolest, hippest, most fun social circle known to mankind.

Thursday, Dec 30:

No real plans for NYE, primarily because I've got to work both NYE and NYD (that's New Year's Eve and New Year's Day Mike, not airport codes...) Suck. Then I get a call from a friend asking if I wanted to accompany her and her cute (female) playmate to the Carolina Friends/Estate all-weekend New Year's party. Sure, why not? It's close, sounds like a good time, and I can probably do it in between working. Plus, as a rule, I try to never say "no" to the prospect of chicks making out. Soon thereafter, I'm talking to another friend online via IM, and it turns out she's not doing anything either, so I invite her to the shindig.

Friday, Dec. 31:

Work, make arrangements to fly to the friend's, where she can pick me up from the airport, then drive back to Charlotte with her. We chit chat, have a generally good time, get ready, get invited to another friend's party, but can't make it due to time constraints, head on over to the hotel for the party. After signing in, we get a few drinks and start to watch people there. The flyer I saw recommended that men wear jackets and ties, but didn't make any indication as to the dress code for women. As a result, women had everything from sub-casual (jeans/t-shirts, some of very questionable taste...) to prom-looking dresses, to cocktail dresses, to formal dresses (not sure if those last two are the same thing,) it was pretty interesting to see how various people and their dates interpreted those very loose guidelines. After a couple hours of people-watching, not seeing/finding/reaching the friend who had invited me, we wandered around a bit more, had the midnight toast, and proceeded to the "hospitality suite".

Saturday, Jan. 1

Spent an our or two in the hospitality suite, where they had snacks/food, so just milled about talking to people, met some cool ones, some totally bizarre/whacked ones, pretty people, ugly people, thin/fat/smart/not-so-smart, drunk/high/sober, you name it, they were there...there must have been a thousand people at the hotel, it was madness. Went from room to room on the hospitality floor (all rooms were pretty much open) Followed some people around to different people's rooms on other floors after having chatted them up, did some things, saw some sights, drank some drinks, had some jello shots, met some people, switched groups, wandered to more rooms, switched groups again, visited more rooms, then ended up in S and L's room. Unbeknownst to me, these two have been involved with CF forever, and are a couple of the most welcoming individuals one could ever hope to meet. Also met H and J there, and all of us absolutely hit it off. They really seem to have warmly accepted me into their little (or far from little if what I'm told is to be believed) circle, and I'm both excited and grateful...the possibilities are endless with these guys! Finally wandered out of the room with H&J at something like 9am, slept for a couple hours at their place, went in to work for a few hours, showered, changed, met J&H, headed to the Estate. Partied there for several hours, drank, caroused, socialized with many of my new friends, mingled, had some fun...

Sunday, Jan. 2

One thing I've learned, and that I'll need to do more research on, is that E, (or X, depending on what you call it; my current theory is that it's regional, like the pop/soda debate...) Viagra, and excessive alcohol consumption do NOT mix. After taking and enjoying the E for a couple hours (that was fun, haven't had any in many, many years...), drinking more than usual the whole time, and after the Viagra should have kicked in, I had no trouble getting it up, but no matter how long we went at it, and how enjoyable it was, wasn't able to "complete" the primary task at hand. Interesting...

Come five am, I'm realizing that I should be at work, and having been told by those around me that I was in no shape to undertake anything of that nature, I called out. No worries since I'm basically jobless after Tuesday anyway. Got invited to S&L's for a Sunday "recovery" party, thanked them, decided to attend. After hearing that I called out of work, insisted that I follow them home and stay the night. Get out to the fabulous digs, (quite a fight, as I was unbelieveably sleepy/tired/spent) hot tubbed with L for a while, then nodded off for a couple hours.

People start arriving around noon, and it's a fabulous day filled with football, food, beverages, and camaraderie, what a crowd! Many who see me tell me that I should try and get a nap in, that they really don't know how I look normally, but I appear to greatly need some rest! I tell them, of course, that I'm fine, and that I'll be OK once I get my second (eighteenth) wind...how wrong I was! Get a call mid afternoon from my dear dear friend D who I'd not seen in far too long, wanting to know if I could see her later that night...of course! So I promise to call her back indicating when I'd be able to get down her way, bid her adieu. Party some more, hot tub some more, then mysteriously completely zonk the fuck out. One would think that with a house full of exceptionally loud drunken revelers, that people wouldn't be able to sleep, but the human body is an amazing and wondrous thing, believe you me...

Monday, Jan. 3

Once I awoke from my stupor, I realize that I've completely blown off D, the guilt! Nor have I even so much as called her to tell her I couldn't make it! Surely I'm on the outs indefinitely for this one...will need to figure out a way to make this up to her...I'm also at that point thinking that the feasibility of making my shift at 5am is also fairly miniscule, so I call out just to be safe...socialize a little more with the straggling partygoers, then crash once again...

Up at the crack of noon, lunch and chat with and try to thank S&L for their gracious hospitality, hope to make it all up to them somehow someday, what fabulous hosts! Head home to actually decompress, sleep, and generally veg out! What a weekend...

I'm sure I'm forgetting key occurrences, but there was literally way too much going on to remember, and this whole entry is nonsensical and disjointed enough without trying to cram more in. To those that have read thus far, I thank you, and wish there was something I could do to reward you for your herculean dedication, this is far worse than waiting out a long joke for a lame punchline, you won't even get that here, sorry.

We'll now return to our normal, semi-witty, much more brief, and relevant commentary...